Second Chance
by boro-girl
Summary: Sarah wished for one more chance with Peter; the Universe gave it to her. After changing the past she finds that living her life over again brings up problems she didn't see coming...
1. Chapter 1

_"As he held her in his arms he considered telling her. It would be so easy to tell her all about the parallel universe where her only major concern at that moment was whether or not she was too young to be a grandmother. But he wasn't there to point out the things she didn't have, he was there to help her mourn what had been taken from her."_

She slept on and off during the night, but he didn't mind all that much. Whatever she needed he was going to provide because, and this had taken him a few hours to work out, he felt _guilty_. Then again, he always felt guilty when people he cared about got hurt because of him. She did all of this, fought back and protected everyone from her attic in Ealing because of him. She understood them, she was strong and brave because of him. And now she was broken because of him. Because he set her off on this path that led her to that registry office and the Trickster using someone she loved against her.

She dreamt, and he held her tighter as she was gripped by another nightmare. He didn't need to ask when she woke; she would shudder and her eyes would snap open, on one occasion she woke with such a cry the Doctor was convinced that Luke was about to burst in to find out what creature was devouring his mother.

It would have taken some explaining.

'Yes, hi Luke. I'm just here in your mother's bed because she's having nightmares and I can't make them go away but I can be here for her. Until I go away that is…'

"You're still here." Her voice was quiet and slightly hoarse.

"Of course," he replied, pressing a kiss into her hairline. "Nowhere else I need to be. Nowhere else I want to be."

"Whole of time and space, and you're choosing to be here with me?"

He smiled down at her. "Every time."

She gave a small smile. "Peter really loved me."

"Yes he did."

"I love him. I know it's stupid, but I still love him. I'm in love with a man I technically never met."

"You did meet him, Sarah. You met him and he loved you. Why wouldn't he?"

Sarah said nothing, just rolled back onto her side, allowing him to curl protectively around her. This was her wedding night she reflected. That was something else she was missing out on. She'd never seen his place, Peter had been an absolute gentleman in that regard. No sleazy encounters in rooms, no pick ups, no stolen moments. For tonight they'd booked a room in a hotel in the City with river views.

So much for that.

"I miss him," she said. "And it _hurts_."

"I wish I could make it all better for you."

"Take me back and I can stop him from…"

"Oh, Sarah. If I could…"

"I know, I know. I want to go to his grave. Is that weird?"

"It's natural."

"I just… wish I could see him again. I wish we could just talk the way that we used to. We could chat for hours, I remember on our second date I think it was? We met for lunch and the next thing I knew I had to race home so Luke wouldn't miss me."

She lapsed into silence, running over the last few months in her head. "It was so quick, wasn't it? I mean, we didn't really know each other…"

"How long had we known each other before you dropped everything to come with me?" he asked. "Sometimes you just know, Sarah. And when you know time doesn't matter."

"Says the Time Lord."

"Says the Time Lord who knows exactly what time means. You and Peter were meant for each other."

"Then why can't I be with him?" she asked before descending into sobs again.

He held onto her, her breaking heart pounding through her back and shattering his own hearts.

"I wish I could make this better for you," he said quietly, his voice humming against the back of her neck.

"I just want him back." Her voice was so quiet that anyone else would have missed it. "Even if it's for a couple of hours. I just want him back."

She fell into another restless sleep and he wished it could be dreamless for as long as possible.

* * *

When she was in the shower he went downstairs to make her a cup of tea. It was only when the kettle had boiled and he had the cup in front of him that it struck him.

"Strong and milky," came a half-asleep voice behind him.

"Thanks," he said, looking around for the tea bags. Luke opened the cupboard closest to them and grabbed the tin. "I…"

"It's fine," Luke said, rubbing his eyes and moving to the fridge. He grabbed the juice carton and took a swig from it.

"Sarah let you do that?"

"Yes."

"Don't believe you."

"Don't care," Luke said, slamming the door shut.

"Oh, c'mon," the Doctor said, pouring the hot water over the tea bag. "It's not…" He stopped, unable to say that it wasn't his fault.

"It's not that," Luke said. "It's just… I don't know how to fix this. She is hurting so much and I can't do anything for her."

"Just be there, all she needs right now."

"What she needs is Peter," Luke said. "She really loved him, didn't she?"

The Doctor nodded.

"I reckon he would have been really good for her."

"He would have," The Doctor said with complete certainty.

"Maybe in another time…"

"Oh, no maybe about it." He stopped and caught Luke's eye. "I don't know if telling her will help or not."

"Telling her what?"

"Marriage, kids, grandkid on the way… She would have had a life with Peter if…"

"If you'd not been in it?"

"Something like that," the Doctor admitted.

"Thing is, if she'd not met you, she'd probably not be involved in all this," Luke said, gesturing upstairs. "And if she wasn't then she wouldn't have been at the factory that day. Don't know what would have happened to me. And I know that's selfish…"

"She loves you."

"I know. But she'd love her own kids. Probably more."

"Are we talking about the same Sarah Jane?" the Doctor quipped, the subtext obvious. There was no way she'd not have loved Luke. "If she'd not come with me…"

"She wouldn't be my mum, would she?"

The Doctor shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. But she would have been happy?"

"…Very."

"Maybe that would have been for the best?"

"She loves you. Never seen her so happy, content and complete. Well…" He trailed off as they both realised that right now Sarah Jane was anything but happy. "She's a great mum. I'm glad she's got you, got the chance to be one."

"Wish she'd got the chance to be a wife," Luke said sadly. "But I know she doesn't regret going with you."

"I don't regret taking her," the Doctor grinned. "We had some amazing times."

"She said, but I always feel weird asking her about it."

"Why?"

"It's almost like another life. She doesn't talk about it much so I don't know if I should ask or just leave it be."

"Yes, well," Sarah announced, stepping into view, "that's because I'd rather not have you worrying about stuff like that just yet. Almost bad enough you dealing with what happens here on Earth. There will be plenty of time for all that later."

She shoved her hands into her jeans pockets as she turned to face the Doctor with the beginnings of a real smile on her face. Her hair was damp and beginning to curl around her shoulders, evidence that right now she was just about able to focus on being upright and not sobbing. He could still feel the thundering vibrations of her heart as easily as he'd done the night before.

"So," the Doctor said, clapping his hands together and rubbing the palms. "Plans for the day?"

"I thought I might just… take a walk," Sarah replied.

"I can come with you if you want," Luke offered.

"Thanks, love, but I'd rather be on my own at the moment." She caught the worried looks on the faces of the (remaining) two most important men in her life and forced a wider smile onto her lips. "Really, I'm fine. At least I will be. Just need to… get my thoughts in order. Bit of time, space, some fresh air? Do me the world of good."

It was only when she'd gone that the Doctor remembered the tea he'd made for her. This domestic stuff was way beyond him.


	2. Chapter 2

Holding the mug in one hand he gently rapped on the bedroom door with the other.

"Sarah? It's me. You decent?" He tried to be light hearted but it didn't work. Very carefully he opened the door and scanned the room. She was stood by the window, staring out. "Your tea."

She didn't move. "I don't even know where he's buried."

"I'm sure we can find out."

"We?" This time she did turn around.

"You really think I'm going to let you go through this by yourself?" he asked. He put the mug down on the dresser and walked over to her.

"Most people get to say goodbye at the funeral."

"Do you want to go?" he offered.

"I thought about asking you," she admitted, "but it would raise too many questions."

"We'll stand back. They won't see us, I promise."

Pursing her lips together she struggled to remain composed. "I can't. I want to but I can't."

"OK," he said gently. "Whatever you want."

"I want to… go for a walk."

* * *

He'd started off thinking that this was a very human trait. Just walking with no idea of direction or destination, but as they took turn after turn he realised just how much like his own life this was. Going wherever you wanted, acting on whims and interest and for no other reason than because you could. They ended up at the local cemetery ("Well, it's somewhere to start," she'd said) and he waited by a bench as she walked up and down the rows of newer graves. A couple of times she stopped, read the headstone, but moved on. It was only when she'd stood in front of the black marble slab for almost five minutes that he knew she'd found it.

He walked towards her but stopped at the end of the row. This was her moment, her time, and he was not going to intrude.

When she was ready she joined him, her eyes puffy and blood shot in that tell-tale way.

"Take me back," she said, and for moment he wondered if she was asking him to do that literally. Choosing instead to ignore the interpretation, he took her hand in his and they began the walk back to Bannerman Road.

* * *

"If you could save them, would you?"

They had walked for nearly twenty minutes in silence so her question confused him a little.

"The Time Lords. Gallifrey. If you could save them, would you?"

"I… don't know," he admitted. "Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"If I could take you back, Sarah, I would. In an instant. You know that."

"I know."

"Changing time is… difficult. The Universe protects herself…"

Sarah slipped her hand into his. "I know," she said. "I just wish it didn't hurt so much."

The Doctor let go of her hand and put his arm around her shoulders. "That's life I'm afraid."

"Life sucks."

There was a second's silence before they both burst into giggles.

"Yes, yes it does," he agreed.

"I've been hanging around the kids too long."

"It's fantastic you know? Seeing you with those three. I meant what I said, they're brilliant."

"I am very particular about the company I keep," she quipped.

"Well then I'm very honoured."

"I'll be fine, Doctor. I will. Just need… time."

"That is something you have plenty of Miss Smith," he replied.

Walking beside him, Sarah flinched unconsciously when he called her 'Miss', but she said nothing and they walked the rest of the way home in silence.

* * *

He stayed with her that night, but there were fewer nightmares She only woke up twice and his response was to gently kiss her brow, run his fingers through her hair and down her arm, and whisper to her until she drifted off again.

He'd never felt so close to her, not even before. They were lying, fully clothed, on top of her bed and it was the most intimate moment between them. He was pretty sure that Luke wasn't best pleased at the idea of "sleepover with the Doctor" but he said nothing for his mum's sake.

"You are not alone," he whispered as Sarah slept comfortably in his arms. "You are loved, Sarah. More than you will ever realise."

"I love you too," she muttered in her sleep, but he knew that she was talking to someone else.

He made her tea in the morning but left the breakfast to Luke. Watching nervously as Sarah took a few bites of the toast before pushing the plate away, he reached out to her.

"Sarah…"

"You can't stay," she said for him.

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. I understand."

"You will be fine, I promise."

"Just without the husband, kids and grandchild on the way?" Sarah asked, and he knew that she'd overheard him the day before.

"I wasn't sure if you'd want to know…"

"Am I… is she happy?" Sarah asked, reminding herself that the her in another dimension was not her.

"Yes," the Doctor whispered.

"Just… without you."

"You and I never met."

"Don't know if I could choose," she said, trying to sound like she meant it. Right now her heart was so heavy and sore that she would have given up almost anything to have Peter back, even if it was just for a day. "But it's nice to know that I'm not alone everywhere."

"You're not alone here," came a third voice from behind her.

Sarah turned slightly in her chair to see her son in the doorway, flanked by Rani and Clyde.

"I know," she smiled, getting up and walking over to them. "And I love each and every one of you."

"I'm totally your favourite though," Clyde quipped, but there was no light-heartedness in his tone.

"Totally," she replied, almost as lifeless. The four of them shared a quick and slightly awkward group hug before pulling apart. Sarah placed a hand on Clyde and Rani's cheeks. "Thank you. For what you both did for me."

"I'm so sorry," Rani whispered, her big eyes threatening to spill over with tears.

"Oh hey, hey, hey," Sarah soothed, her voice suddenly _hers_ again. "You have nothing to be sorry about. None of us do," she said pointedly so the Doctor would know she meant him too. "Everything happens for a reason, we have to believe that. In a funny way, if Peter hadn't have died I never would have met him."

"So it's a good thing?" Clyde asked.

"It is better to have loved and lost," Luke quoted, "than to have never loved at all."

"Good man, Will," the Doctor said. When the four of them turned to look at him, he grinned. "Bit easily led at times, but a good man."

"And so are you," Sarah pointed out. "You came back for me. You didn't have to, but you came back."

"I had to," he corrected, getting to his feet.

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

"Well, I'm kinda hoping we're not going through all that again," Clyde pointed out. "That artron energy's not going to do any damage to me, is it? I may not be planning it now, but I think I might like the option of kids one day."

"That small an amount, you'll be fine," the Doctor said, his eyes flicking to Sarah unconsciously. She was stood next to Luke, his arm protectively around her shoulders. "Look after her for me," he said to the young man.

"Always," Luke replied.

The Doctor walked over to them and kissed Sarah gently on her forehead. "Take care."

"Until the next time," she repeated, echoing their conversation in the TARDIS not two days before. "Only, maybe leave it a bit longer next time?"

The Doctor opened his mouth to reply, but somewhere in a deep, darker corner of his mind the sentence pushed its way out. "I think next time will be ages away but sooner than you'd think."

Everyone was confused by that, but four of them put it down to the Time Lord being endearingly cryptic. Maybe it would be ages for them, but tomorrow for him. Whatever he meant though he didn't elaborate, and after shaking Luke's hand he walked away. There was the sound of the front door closing, and then the familiar sound of the TARDIS as she finally left Bannerman Road.

"Wait, the TARDIS was out front?" Rani asked.

Sarah nodded. "I told him to move it from the attic, it was getting in the way."

"I didn't see it," Clyde said. "At least, I don't think I did." He screwed his face up as the memory of what he'd done not moments before began to ripple like water.

"That's the TARDIS for you. If she doesn't want to be seen, she won't be. You'll see her and walk on and then forget that you ever saw her."

"And the Doctor?" Rani asked.

"Him? You never forget him." _Or anyone else who's important to you_, she added silently.


	3. Chapter 3

For the next few days Sarah operated on auto-pilot. She got up, dressed, made breakfast, waved the kids off to school – even found time for the odd article. The world didn't need saving and so there was nothing to distract her from noticing how empty her life was at times. Living in this big house, all alone for years. Now it was filled with all the things that come with having a teenage boy live there and his friends over all the time, but she could still see the gaps.

That's where his shoes would have been. That's where he'd have put all his files and he'd have sat there when he was working from home.

Trying to break from her thoughts, she made a quick shopping list of things they didn't really need, and she drove to the supermarket. She wandered up and down the aisles, filling the trolley with things on her list as well as things she knew the kids liked. She should spoil them a little from time to time, she thought, after all – they are brilliant.

She paid and put the bags into the boot of the car. As she walked around to the driver's door a sign she'd ignored hundreds of times seemed to jump out at her.

_FORTUNES READ, UNDERSTAND YOUR PAST AND BE PREPARED FOR THE FUTURE._

Understanding her past would be interesting, but there was something in her that wanted to know what was going to happen in the future. Was she always going to hurt like this?

What the hell, she thought and locked her door again.

_Keep an open mind_, she reminded herself as she took a seat across from the woman. So far it all looked normal enough.

* * *

"You're wary," she said.

"Cautiously sceptical," Sarah admitted.

"Well I'm not promising to tell you what is going to happen. It doesn't always work like that. I see ideas, promise, potential. What you do with it is up to you."

"OK, so what now?"

* * *

Sarah slammed the car door closed and gripped the steering wheel tightly. Well that was a waste of time. An interesting waste of time, but a waste of time in any case. The woman had seemed nice enough but then she'd got things very mixed up.

"I see a trip… no, the end of one. And you've finished in the wrong place. You're miles from home and miles from the life you had. It's… Different. You want things to be different."

"Different?"

"I don't need to be able to read anything to see that you're suffering right now. There's something wrong and you want to fix it. And I think you're going to get that chance."

"I don't think so. He… he died. I can't fix that."

"I still see possibility. There's another man, one who can change things for you. And things will change."

"With this trip?"

"No. With the end of a trip. The end was a new beginning for you, and you will get to do that again. You will have another chance at… finding him. You won't forget."

"Forget what?"

"I don't know, it's not an exact science, and with you things are… moving, changing. Like they have been decided but can change. And you're doing that. You're going to take it all back and make it work. Fix a problem."

"With the end of a journey? This one I'm on now?"

"No," she replied. "With the one you took a lifetime ago. The one that opened your eyes to what is out there."

The only journey she could think of that worked was her time with the Doctor. That had ended in the wrong place but that had been almost thirty years ago. And if she was going down that train of thought, the Doctor could change things. She'd seen it. Cause and effect sometimes.

So much for the future, seemed like all that had been about her past. Annoyed with herself for being tempted by stupidity, she turned the key in the ignition and went home.

* * *

"Ta da!" Clyde said, pulling the woven circle from his school bag. "It's for Sarah Jane."

"What is it?" Rani asked, fingering one of the feathers that hung from it.

"It's a dream catcher," Luke said. "It's supposed to catch bad dreams."

"You said she'd been having nightmares, and I was on eBay the other day… I don't know why but I just had to buy it."

"It's beautiful," Rani breathed.

"Just thought it would be nice," Clyde shrugged.

"It is," Luke smiled. "She'll love it."

"Just wish there was some way of making this all better, not just her dreams."

* * *

Sarah did love it and Clyde was relieved that the hug that she gave him felt very much like the hugs the pre-Peter Sarah Jane would give him. Maybe things were starting to get back to normal. Luke helped her to hang the catcher in her window, and as the setting sun caught the beads the refracted light danced about her room.

"Very thoughtful of him," Sarah commented as dots of blue and red were traced on her skin.

"It's a superstition which has become commercialised," Luke pointed out, "but I hope there's something in it."

"You and me both," she smiled.

That night Sarah relaxed in a long bath, went to bed early with a mug of hot chocolate and a book she'd loved for decades. After reading for a while she switched off the light and settled in among the covers, turning over so she could see the dream catcher, hanging between the gap in her curtains. The beads glittered in the orange hue of the street lamps, and as Sarah's eyes drifted shut her final thoughts were, as always, of the man she'd loved and lost – and wanted a second chance with.

At just after three in the morning, all was quiet in Ealing. Clyde was still awake, sketchbook in hand, as he drew the dream catcher that had caught not his bad dreams but his eye. There was something about the way the strings had been woven and the beads that had enchanted him and screamed BUY ME FOR SARAH JANE. He couldn't get the image out of his head and so he was putting it onto paper, working by torchlight so he wouldn't wake his mum.

On Bannerman Road, Rani dreamt of Pulitzer prizes and exclusives on hunting down aliens and saving the world. Across the road Luke slept soundly in his usual dreamless sleep, finally able to relax and not feel as if he needed to keep half an ear open for his mother.

In the attic K9 and Mr Smith ignored the other's presence and ensured their circuitry was operating at peak efficiency. Sarah Jane had not needed them as much recently but they would be ready when she did. Mr Smith was even enjoying – if that can be the right term – the knowledge that the Doctor had given him a new command and purpose, and that the recent quietness had more to do with friends from UNIT and Torchwood giving Sarah Jane time to grieve and recover.

As for Sarah Jane herself, she dreamt of Peter, of the life she imagined them leading. Together, married, a family of their own.

The dream catcher in the window spun, with no help from any breeze or movement. The beads caught the light from the street and the moon, and as it turned the refractions circled the bed, over and over and over again.

Sarah dreamt of her life now, in this house, with Luke and Clyde and Rani, of the Doctor and saving the world.

The dream catcher stopped spinning as dawn broke, but the lights remained focussed solely on the bed. There was a dull pop, almost like pressure being equalised, and Sarah Jane woke.


	4. Chapter 4

As she stretched out, keeping her eyes screwed shut against the sun peering in through the curtains, she immediately sensed something was wrong. For one thing, her right foot shot out from under the covers, as if it were on the edge of the bed. Which was weird because her left hand was resting on the edge of the mattress on that side. Her eyes snapped open and she sat up, quickly taking in the single bed she'd woken up in before the small and functional room that surrounded her.

Not her room, not her house.

Very carefully she climbed out of the bed and walked over to the window. Pulling back the curtains a little she saw streets and streets of terraced houses in front of her, a city but definitely not London. Carefully pushing the window open she detected the faint smack of salt on the air; a coastal city then.

"Luke!" she said on instinct, and turned towards the door. Quite what she planned to do she didn't know, but she'd been transported from her home then maybe Luke had been too.

But as she turned from the window any plan that had been forming stopped along with her mind and body as she caught sight of her reflection in the full length mirror in the corner.

"But…" she began, taking a few careful steps towards it.

The young woman in the mirror moved closer too.

Sarah lifted her arm – the woman in the mirror copying her exactly – as she touched her face. The soft, smooth skin of her youth was evident from touch as well as sight, and then the memory returned suddenly, as if she were remembering a dream.

Realising it was not Croydon… walking a few streets… hearing the Scottish accents… asking a local who clearly thought she was still drunk after a big night out… calling the Brig…

…and the little B&B she'd booked into for her first night back on Earth in years. The tiny single bed, the small window which looked out over the City, east facing so of course the sun streamed in first thing.

And this reflection. Her reflection. Sarah Jane Smith, aged 29 years old, left behind on Earth because she couldn't go to Gallifrey, stared back at the woman who had gone to bed the night before as a much older, pseudo-widow to a man she'd never really met.

"But…" she began, reaching out to touch the surface of the mirror.

The 29-year old Sarah Jane did the same, their fingers meeting on the cold glass.

"I'm dreaming," they both mouthed before being startled by a knock on the door.

Cautiously, Sarah walked over and opened it to find the friendly old woman who she remembered as taking pity on the "poor London girl" who'd been cruelly dumped by her boyfriend in a city she didn't know.

"I have those train times for you," the old woman purred in her Scottish accent. "There's a couple leaving this morning that'll get you back in London by tonight if you're quick enough."

Sarah racked her memory for what had happened that morning, and she smiled as it became as clear as if it had been yesterday.

"Thank you so much, Mrs Donaldson."

"How many times, dear, it's Katherine," the older woman smiled. "If you're wanting I can get my David to give you a lift to the station?"

"That would be great, thank you," Sarah said. "I'll give you my address for the bill."

"Oh dear, that's already taken care of."

Of course, Sarah realised, Sir Alistair had sorted this. He'll have also covered her ticket she remembered, right before making a note not to call him Sir Alistair should she see him again.

"I can't thank you enough for this," she said, taking the slip of paper from her host.

"Well I couldn't leave you out there to freeze, could I now? You just promise me that should you run into that man of yours you'll have nothing to do with him."

"I don't think I'll be seeing him again," Sarah said sadly, with a bit more conviction than she'd done the first time.

"I should hope not, what kind of gentleman abandons his girl in a strange city?" Katherine shook her head and smiled. "I'll pop some breakfast on for you now, dear, let you get dressed."

"Thank you so much," Sarah said, pushing the door shut when Katherine had gone.

This could not be happening. This was not real. There was no way she'd gone back in time to this. It was not 1981, she was not in Aberdeen, and this was not happening.

* * *

On the train back to London, Sarah realised that this was happening. For whatever reason she had gone back. Maybe it was real, maybe The Doctor had given her this chance, but that wouldn't explain her appearance. She was on the verge of her thirtieth birthday (which she'd spent convinced that the Doctor would crash back into her life and whisk her off somewhere exotic to celebrate – in reality her aunt had come to her flat with a plain store-bought cake and they'd had a cup of tea) and this was really happening.

Going through it logically, she couldn't have just been brought back in time. For one, returning to your past didn't reverse the effects of ageing. She'd still be on the verge of her sixtieth, so that was one strike against. However, she remembered everything of her past – this future. She knew Alistair and Harry would be waiting for her at the station to surprise her. She knew that she'd spend the next few years hanging around UNIT, always ready for when – if – the Doctor came back for her.

What if time had reset itself? For whatever reason the last thirty years had been wiped from existence and she was going to live it all over again? Was she the only one who remembered? Would Harry and Alistair greet her at the station, knowing she was now expecting them, and UNIT would be deep in discussion over what to do now?

"Is anyone sat here?"

A voice broke into her train of thought and Sarah looked up, already shaking her head. She was going to say something, but her voice died in her throat as the woman who sat across from her was the fortune teller she'd been to see a few days before. Or in thirty years' time, depending on how you looked at it.

"Lovely day, Sarah Jane," the woman said.

"What's happened to me?" Sarah asked.

"The end of your journey and the start of a new one. Just as I saw."

"This can't happen. You don't just wake up and find yourself in your past."

"Yet this is what has happened," the fortune teller said. "You have your chance."

"What chance?"

"To have what you wanted. In your dreams."

"What…?" she began.

"You dreamt of a life with him, did you not? You wanted time with him. Now you have that time. You have it all. And you remember, just as I said."

"What have you done to me?" Sarah asked, struggling to keep her voice to a low hiss.

"I've done nothing. I can't control what happens, I just prepare you for it."

"If you want me to change the timeline then I won't. I've seen what happens."

"I'm not the Trickster," the woman said as the thought floated in Sarah's mind. "I have no interest in the outcome of this.. adventure."

"Then what do you want?"

"To help you. I could sense your confusion…"

Sarah paused for a moment to take in the woman's attire. "You're not really here, are you?" she realised.

"Yes and no. Don't worry, people won't think you're talking to yourself, but I am not in 1981 with you."

"Then how…?"

"There is a link between what you would call your present and today. The gift from a friend?"

It took Sarah a moment to realise. "The dream catcher."

The woman nodded. "You dreamt of this, Sarah. It merely obliged."

"And sent me back? Why?"

"Do you know how close you came to meeting Peter before?"

"How do you know his name?" Sarah challenged.

"This would be a lot easier if you'd just listen to me," she sighed. "I know you're sceptical and worried and cautious, but just listen for a moment. When you returned to London, you were so close to each other. It would take nothing for a slight move to allow you to meet.

"You wanted time with him, even if it was just for a little while."

"I can't change the past," Sarah protested. "Last time I was… tempted…"

"I understand that things have been… difficult in the past, Sarah Jane, but this is not like that at all. The dream maker is…"

"Dream catcher," Sarah corrected.

The fortune teller cocked an eyebrow. "Really? Do you think that it just caught your dream?"

"…so this is all my fault?"

"This is of your doing, yes, but fault?"

"Who else knows…?"

"Just you," the teller replied. "This is your world, of your making."

"So it's not real…"

"As real as any world is."

"What about Luke? My son…"

"Will not exist for many years."

"This is too much…" Sarah sighed, sitting back in her seat. "I don't know what…"

"I understand your hesitation, I really do. But this is not the same as before. You have your chance, to go back and make the changes you want. You can make that change, you can… fix it."

"And what will happen if I do?" Sarah asked. "If I… Everything changes around it."

"Peter exists in this world. All you would be changing is your relationship with him."

"It doesn't work like that. I know, I've seen what can happen."

"The choice is yours, Sarah. You have this chance and it's up to you what you do with it."

"I won't risk the world just for something I want," she said defiantly.

"Sarah, the dream maker has done this for you. Not for chaos, not for any ulterior motive, for you." She sighed gently. "You are a hard woman to convince, Miss Smith. So many knocks, so many disappointments. So many times you have been used and lied to by the people you trust and care for the most."

"So I'm cautious."

"Some would say reserved. Suspicious."

"Careful. Respectful."

"Afraid."

"I'm not afraid," Sarah challenged.

"You have a chance to be happy. The Universe is giving you that."

"The Universe protects itself," she said, echoing the Doctor's words. "If I stop him…"

"From what?" the teller asked. "If you meet him then your lives will take a different path."

"I can't change the world for what I want," she said.

"Sometimes you don't have a choice."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I see… your decision leads to one being taken out of your hands."

"I've heard enough," Sarah said, gathering her things and preparing to move seats.

"Please, Sarah," the teller said, her hand shooting out to prevent the other woman from leaving. "I don't have much time left."

"I'm not listening to any more of this," she said.

"You asked for one more chance. What if this is it? Your one chance? A meeting of two strangers who enjoy each other's company. You wanted just a few hours…"

"And is that it? Is that what I have?" Sarah asked, sitting back down. "A chance for a few hours?"

"I don't know. As I said before, things have been decided but they keep changing."

"I can't mess about with time, it's too important."

"And yet here you are, thirty years in your past, with the knowledge of what is yet to come. Who could do that? Not the Trickster, not even your Doctor. This is something else, Sarah Jane, something much bigger. Maybe some things have to change?"

The teller slid out of her seat and stood in the aisle. "It was nice to see you again, Miss Smith. I wish you all the happiness you deserve." She smiled in a knowing way. "He is waiting for you. A bar with your name on it. Lunchtime, tomorrow."

"I can't meet him," Sarah said, but her conviction was already wavering. This body may have been of her younger self, but her heart was the same and it still ached with love and grief.

Taking a deep breath she looked down at her hands. "I can't do it. I don't have that right."

"I'm sorry, miss?"

Sarah looked up at the puzzled face of the train guard, her fortune teller nowhere in sight.

"It's nothing," she said. "Just talking to myself."


	5. Chapter 5

Harry and Alistair "surprised" her at the station with warm hugs and tactful avoidance of any questions or mentions of the Doctor. They went to dinner, caught her up on things that she had missed during her "time away". Throughout the evening one thought played on her mind – what if she was to try and meet Peter tomorrow?

What if she could have just one meeting with him? What if that was why she'd come back, complete with all the knowledge of what happened? To have lunch with him tomorrow, to have that time with him? What if she'd come back for just these few days, and come the day after tomorrow she would wake up in her own bed in her own house?

"You OK, old girl?"

Harry's voice cut into her thoughts and she shot him a glare. "Fine," she replied.

"We're sorting you out a flat, but it'll take time," Harry said. "Weren't quite expecting you back."

"Wasn't expecting to come back," she said.

"Got any plans?" Harry asked.

"UNIT would like to debrief you," Alistair said. "Am a bit surprised that the Doctor would choose to just..."

"Dump me?" Sarah asked. She shrugged slightly. "I couldn't go with him."

She remembered this dinner; she'd been distracted that time too. She'd spent the night wondering if she was ever going to see the Doctor again, if she'd travel with him, if he'd remember her. This time she knew those answers and so her thoughts kept returning to Peter. He was alive and well and nearby. It wouldn't be hard to find him, but could she do it? The temptation was so real and powerful, but it was combined with the knowledge of just how devastating attempts to play with the timeline could be. She'd tried to save her parents and destroyed the world.

But this time she wouldn't be saving him. This time it wouldn't be anything except lunch. Just... meeting someone for lunch. A conversation, that's all.

And there was no harm in exploring options.

* * *

She had asked a secretary at UNIT to look up a list of all the bars in London that "shared her name" as she'd been told by the teller. There were a number of Smiths, a couple of 'Sarah's Bar' and even the odd Jane's cafe. Too many to get through in one lunchtime so she needed to narrow it down further.

She tried to remember the early conversations that she and Peter had shared, discussing their pasts. She'd naturally glossed over hers which was fine because he was all too happy to talk about how he was plucked from University to an apprenticeship with an up-and-coming law firm in the City. Picking up a phone (and never thinking she'd have actually missed having a mobile) she dialled the operator and requested the number for the Dallas Partnership Group. She was put through to their main office and requested their address. Comparing it to her list she found that it was down the road from one of the bars on her list.

Lunchtime today. What harm could it do?

* * *

Getting off the bus, she walked down the street towards Smiths Bar. People moved around her, going about their lives without any idea of what was out there, what was happening around them. This London was not a million miles away from the London she knew – or would know – some things really didn't change all that much.

Pushing open the door to the bar, she was taken slightly aback by the faint hint of smoke in the air. OK, so some things had changed a lot, but she didn't let that stop her Walking up to the bar she ordered a glass of wine, and tried to look casual as she scanned the bar. There was no sign of him. Was she late? Early? Or just wrong? Maybe this wasn't the right bar. Maybe the Universe was protecting herself and as a result Peter was going somewhere else today.

She took a seat and sipped at her drink, wondering if this was really what she wanted to do. So far the Universe wasn't showing any signs of descending into chaos and destruction, but that might come later.

Every time the door opened her heart jumped a bit and more than once she chided herself on acting like a teenager. She may look thirty but she felt twice that and here she was, acting in a way that'd embarrass Luke, Rani and Clyde no end. After ten minutes she'd decided that she couldn't do this, the risks were just too great. For the sake of one lunch? Picking up her half-finished drink she got up to return it to the bar. As she turned around she bumped into someone, the contents of her glass spilling all the way down the front of his pristine white shirt.

"I am so sorry!" she began before looking up.

"Don't worry about it," Peter laughed. "I think I should be apologising for sneaking up on you like that."

Sarah froze, not sure what to say next.

"Really, it's fine. I always have a spare shirt in the office in case of emergencies. I think this counts."

"Right, well, sorry again," she said, moving towards the bar.

"At least let me get you another drink," Peter offered, following her.

"I was just leaving actually."

"Now that's a shame. I was hoping to get to know you."

"I'm sorry?"

"I've been stood back there for about ten minutes, trying to get up the courage to come up and speak to you."

Sarah shot him a glance, trying not to smile. "In ten minutes you couldn't come with anything better to say?"

"I was distracted by your..."

"Don't finish that sentence!" she laughed.

"So. Can I buy you a replacement drink?" he offered with a smile.

And she was lost.

* * *

Lunch lasted three hours. They ate, drank, talked and laughed like they'd known each other their whole lives. Sarah kept having to hold back and stop herself from saying things that she wasn't supposed to know. The ease of their relationship was there already and when he finally noticed the time and had to make his departure, they were both genuinely sad.

"I really enjoyed myself," Peter said, pulling his jacket on.

"Me too," she smiled.

"Maybe we can do this again?" he asked.

"I... don't know." She watched his face fall in disappointment. "I mean, I don't know how long I'm going to be around for."

"Right, well, if you are... sticking around," he said, pulling a business card from his pocket.

Sarah took it, slipping it into her bag. "I'll think about it."

"My name's on there," he said, "seeing we never got around to exchanging that simple pleasantry." He held out his hand. "I'm..."

"You know what?" Sarah said, putting her hand on top of his. "This has been... kinda nice. Bit mysterious."

"Mysterious?"

"How about we leave it up to fate?" she said. "If we are meant to see each other again, it'll happen."

"I believe in giving fate a helping hand," Peter said.

"We'll see," she smiled. "It was... _really_ nice to meet you," she said.

"You too," he said. "And I'll see you again," he called after her as she headed for the door. "I promise you!"

* * *

She put the key into the door of her new flat, and after closing the door behind her she leant against it, sinking to the floor. She pulled the business card out of her bag and looked at it. The temptation to call him was high, but she couldn't help think that she'd been lucky so far. She'd had her "one more time", spent time with him and the Universe hadn't imploded. There was no sign of splits in the space-time continuum, the Doctor wasn't racing in and dragging her back to the present.

If the dream maker had given her this time, this chance, then she would go back happy. She could wake up tomorrow and everything could be back to how it was.

As the sunlight pushed through her window Sarah kept her eyes closed, allowing the memories from yesterday to play over and over in her mind. Her one chance, her extra time, second chance. As she opened her eyes she froze.

This was not her room, at least not in Bannerman Road.

She was still here, still in 1981.

This second chance was lasting longer than she'd anticipated.


	6. Chapter 6

For the next couple of days, Sarah kept a low profile. She allowed things to happen as they had done and tried to work out what she was going to do next. Her attempts at finding the fortune teller failed, and there was no one she could really talk to about what was going on. When the days turned into weeks Sarah resigned herself to the fact that the dream maker had really hit the reset button, and with no help or rescue forthcoming she was going to have to live her life all over again.

Which would have been fine if it hadn't been for a knock on her door just over a month after her "return".

"You are a hard woman to track down," Peter said as Sarah opened the door to find him standing there. "But worth the effort I'm sure, Miss Smith."

"How…?" she began.

"I have my ways," he smiled, "and I'll happily tell you everything over a coffee."

Her careful plan of not changing things was spinning wildly out of control. He wasn't supposed to find her, they were not supposed to do this. She was certainly not inviting him in. Not a chance.

"You're a bit disturbed by this, aren't you?" Peter said. "I promise I'm not stalking you."

"Then how did you find me?"

"My firm have recently taken on a new client," he explained. "A mutual acquaintance if you like. Your aunt has considerable assets that need attention."

"My aunt…?" Sarah said, her head beginning to spin.

"I've spent the last week working closely with her, and when she mentioned her niece I thought nothing of it. But a few days ago I had cause to call 'round to her house and I saw a photo… Once I had a name, the rest was easy."

"You know my aunt," Sarah repeated, the thought burning a hole in her logic.

Peter had come so close to her life before. She knew her aunt had taken on new lawyers to sort out her estate, and her foreknowledge meant that she knew Lavinia would be very impressed with the Dallas Group's work. Peter would had seen her photograph at her aunt's house all those years in the past, only without that meeting he never would have known who she was.

"Are you OK?" Peter asked, his velvet voice deep and soft with concern.

"I think I need to sit down," Sarah whispered, stumbling back into the flat. She didn't protest when he followed her, guiding her to the old sofa and settling her down.

He fetched her a glass of water and sat on the coffee table so he was facing her. "I'm sorry if I scared you…"

"No, it's not that," she assured him, taking a sip of the tepid water. "It's just…"

"Fate?" he guessed, a corner of his mouth curling up in a smile.

For what seemed like the first time, Sarah saw him. He was still the handsome man she remembered. Or was that he would still be the same man? Her head swam with past, present and future and she gave up trying to work it all out. He was noticeably younger of course, but there was still that air of sincerity she'd first been attracted to. His eyes were still warm and inviting and when he smiled they still shone.

"Yeah, fate," she said eventually. "This was meant to happen."

"If you don't mind me saying, you don't seem the type to put much stock in fate and all that nonsense. From what your aunt told me about you I would have expected…"

"What?" she asked.

"Your aunt gave me the impression of a strong-willed, independent young woman."

"I can't be both?"

"Of course you can," he said, his hand unconsciously moving to her leg.

Sarah said nothing in response, just put hers over his. "I just think that if something is meant to be then it will be. No point trying to make something work if it's not going to happen. The Universe has its own rules, it's not up to us to guess what they are."

"The Universe?" he asked. "Well, seeing as the Universe saw fit for your aunt to become my client, thereby giving me the means to find out who you are, does that mean I can see you again?"

"You're seeing me now," she smiled, her fingers running over the back of his hand.

"You know what I mean."

"So do you," she countered.

"I know a little restaurant not far from here," he said in a low voice. His fingers moved against the soft fabric of the trousers she was wearing, a gentle caress of her leg. "We could go for a late lunch?"

"Sounds good to me."

* * *

They'd been dating for two months before she let him back into her flat. It was another three weeks before she let him stay the night. Every morning she'd wake up, expecting to be back in the twenty first century, but every morning she was still living in the 80s. She was only not disappointed by this fact on the mornings she woke up next to Peter.

She did the 'done thing' and took him to dinner with her aunt. Lavinia had been suitably impressed by Peter Dalton the lawyer, but Peter Dalton her niece's boyfriend was a very different matter. By the end of the evening he'd gained Lavinia's tentative approval, which was tempered with a comment on how Lavinia expected her niece to be able to make sound decisions for herself, but with Sarah's almost flighty nature she wasn't going to go out and buy a hat just yet.

That night, over a large glass of wine in her flat, Sarah assured Peter that her travelling days were over and she was definitely moving into the "settle down" phase of her life.

"She does seem proud of you," Peter remarked, pulling Sarah's feet up into his lap as they settled on the sofa.

"I'm sure she is," she replied, swirling the wine around in her glass. "It's just… we're not all that close, not really."

"Must have been hard then, growing up?"

"I wasn't neglected and I certainly didn't feel unwanted or unloved," she pointed out. "It's just… I guess we're both very aware of the fact that she's not my mother."

Unbidden, the memories of going back to 1951 flashed in her mind. Her mother, so young and so beautiful and so devoted to her baby daughter, making that decision to sacrifice herself.

"You OK, Sarah?" Peter asked, sensing the change in her mood.

"Fine," she whispered even though tears were starting to spring in her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"…I don't know," he laughed. "For the fact that you didn't know your parents. For the fact that your aunt, while lovely, doesn't love you in the way that you deserve to be."

"And you do?" she said, intending it to be an offhand remark. When she saw the look on his face, she stopped. "Well, that was one way to ruin the moment."

Peter just shrugged but said nothing.

"If it'll make it any better," she said softly, "I love you too."

"You're stealing my thunder," he said, only half serious.

"I promise I'll let you propose."

"What makes you think I'll be doing that?"

"A hunch."

"A journalist's hunch?"

"Something like that," she smiled.

"And does you hunch tell you anything about how or when this proposal will be forthcoming, if indeed one is?"

"Not yet."

"Some journalist you are."

"Some lawyer you are," she retorted, "letting a journalist steal your thunder."

"I'd only ever let one journalist get the better of me," Peter said, beginning to gently rub her feet.

"I should think so too." As she settled back onto the arm of the sofa, she fought to stifle a yawn.

"Tired?"

"No," she lied.

"You should get to bed."

"Only if you're staying."

"If you want me to."

"I don't just mean tonight," she said. The offer surprised her as much as it did Peter, but she made sure it didn't show.

"What would your aunt say about us living in sin?" he asked.

"Given how often she's away, I don't know if she'd notice. And anyway, it's my life, not hers."

"True."

"So you'll stay?" she asked hopefully.

"I would love to," he agreed.

Sarah swung her feet to the ground and stood up, taking Peter's hand as she did so.

"Told you we were meant to be," he whispered in her ear as they headed for bed.


	7. Chapter 7

She hated being ill. More than that she hated being dependent on someone else. Anyone else. She felt unattractive and miserable and Peter wouldn't leave her side.

Bastard.

No matter how hard she tried he would fetch her hot drinks of honey and lemon, he'd clear away the bin filled with tissues and replace box after box of them. He rented trashy movies and stayed with her so they could both laugh at the ridiculous plots. (Although he started to avoid comedies when her laughter frequently gave way to coughing fits.) He bought her a new book, 'Master of the Game', which was supposed to be headed for the best seller list and was puzzled when she seemed to read it quickly and know all the details when quizzed.

He worked from the living room of their small flat and began sleeping on the sofa when Sarah insisted that he shouldn't have to be kept awake all night just because she was wheezing like a 50-a-day smoker. Plus he should try and avoid catching this cold.

Propped up on all the pillows and cushions they had, Sarah tried to remember what she'd been doing first time around. As her memories were a bit sparse she'd come to the conclusion that 1982 had been a bit of a boring year. Probably spent it moping and waiting for the Doctor. Instead here she was, living with a man she was madly in love with, a man who'd surprised her with a trip to Italy for Christmas and New Year. She'd been convinced he was going to propose, but it hadn't happened.

Maybe Valentine's, but that was a month away and Sarah was getting impatient. If she had this second chance then she wasn't wasting it.

There was a soft knock on the door and she sighed.

"You don't have to knock," she rasped. "It's your room too."

"Just checking you were decent," Peter said as he came in, trying to balance a tray on one hand. He set it down on the bedside table and she wished she could smell the soup.

"Would it have bothered you if I wasn't?" she quipped.

"Normally, no," he said, kissing her on her forehead, "but I think it would have bothered you."

"Is someone here?" she asked. "If my aunt's dropped by…"

"Far as I know she's still off in… where was it again?"

Sarah tried to think but her brain wasn't working properly and she shrugged.

"I've been thinking," Peter said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"About?"

"Us. You and me."

"Anything specific?"

"Just about how much you must love me."

"Is that right?" she laughed, breaking off into coughs.

"Sarah Jane Smith, independent woman, letting her partner look after her like this? Must be love."

"Yeah, well, like I could stop you. It's just easier to let you get on with it."

"That right?" he asked. "So if I wanted to do something…"

He picked up a mug from the tray and held it out to her. When she took it from him it took a few seconds for her to register there was nothing in it. No liquid at any rate. Peering into it what breath she did have stuck in her throat.

"Peter," she said very carefully, picking the box out from the bottom of the mug. "I have been in bed for three days, I feel _awful_, I probably look worse… and you're _proposing_?"

"Yeah," he said, matter-of-factly.

"Why?"

"Because I love you," he said, also matter-of-factly.

"No, seriously. Why now?"

"Because you let me look after you. Because you don't let _anyone_ look after you, but you let me. So I know you love me. And I love you, Sarah. More than I thought possible. I honestly don't think there is anything I wouldn't do for you."

"You expect me to say yes?" she asked. "No flowers, no romantic music, no getting down on one knee?"

"If I did any of that, you'd say no on principle, wouldn't you?"

She had to admit that he was right and they both knew it.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he said. "And that includes taking care of you when you're sick – whether you want me to or not."

Sarah looked at the ring box in her hand and couldn't help but smile. "OK," she said.

"OK?" he asked. "I propose and you say 'OK'?"

"Technically you've not asked me," she said.

"Fine. Sarah Jane Smith, will you marry me?"

"Try and sound like you mean it!" she laughed.

"My darling Sarah, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

"No getting down on one knee?"

"Oh for…" he said. "Yes or no?"

She smiled at him and nodded. "Yes."

"Good. Now, lunch?"

* * *

"Remind me why you have to go?" he said as she closed up the overnight bag.

"Tradition," she reminded him.

"Yes, because we are such traditionalists."

"Aunt Lavinia insisted."

"So tell her no! You want to go to bed in your own flat and do your own thing before going to your own wedding."

"It's one night," she said, wrapping her arms around his waist and kissing him gently. "One night and then we have the rest of our lives."

"I still don't like it."

"Well if it keeps Lavinia happy then it's worth it."

"We don't need her money, Sarah."

"You can't deny it'll come in handy though. C'mon, Peter. It's a generous gift."

"I know."

"A proper home," she smiled. "A proper… family home."

"A family, huh?"

"Something to think about."

She kissed him again, this time longer and deeper. His hands snaked to her waist, holding her tight against his body.

"I love you," she whispered when their lips finally parted.

"I love you too."

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you," she continued, running her index finger along his jaw. "I'd change the Universe for you."

He smiled and kissed her finger. "I'd change my opinion of your aunt for you."

She laughed and kissed him gently. It was, to everyone else, their little game. What they would change for the other. For Sarah it was the only way she could tell Peter just how much he actually meant to her. It had been almost eighteen months since she "arrived" back here and her plans to live a quiet life had so far played out fine. If you ignored the fact that she was getting married the next day to a man she wasn't actually supposed to meet.

The Universe hadn't imploded, nothing major was going wrong in space and time, in fact things seemed to playing out as they always did. Only with Peter in her life this time.

"I have to go," she said quietly. "I'll see you in the morning."

"I'll be the one in the tux."

"That narrows it down to what? Half the guests?" she joked.

"I'll stand near the front so you can see me."

"Good idea."

"Sleep well."

"I'll miss you," she admitted.

"You could stay."

"Only if you tell Aunt Lavinia."

Peter hesitated then grabbed her hand and the bag. "Well, you don't want to be late for Lavinia now," he said, almost hauling her to the front door. "Goodnight, my Sarah Jane."

When he called her that she felt a small shiver go down her spine. "Always," she told him.


	8. Chapter 8

"Your mum and dad would be so proud of you."

Sarah tore herself away from her reflection in the full length mirror to look at her aunt. "I hope so," she said.

"Well I know so," Lavinia corrected. "All they wanted for you was that you were happy. And you are happy, aren't you?"

"I really do love him."

"A lawyer and a journalist, eh?" Lavinia said, trotting out the old joke as she turned Sarah back 'round to face the mirror. "Sure you two will have some interesting… debates in years to come."

"Probably," Sarah smiled. She didn't care. This was it, her wedding day. Her and Peter, finally husband and wife.

Unless the Doctor was going to burst in and reveal it all to be some elaborate Trickster plan. Unless there was some accident on the way to the church. Unless he'd been coming down the stairs leading from their flat and… She was going to be on edge until that ring was on her finger; something the others were just putting down to normal wedding-day jitters. But she'd never been so sure of anything in her life (other than Luke – and today of all days she _really_ missed him).

"How do I look?" Sarah asked as her aunt fixed the veil in place.

"You look amazing," Lavinia said, her voice warm with the compliment and love. "Peter is a very lucky man."

There was another knock on the door which only just announced the deep voice of Sarah's old friend.

"Couldn't agree more," Alistair said as he stepped into the room. "Do I pass muster?"

As per Sarah's request, the Brigadier was not the Brigadier today, but her friend Alistair. He'd complained about having a to rent a suit, but Sarah was keen to avoid questions. Peter knew she'd done some work for the government, but she'd been a bit light on the details to spare him. She didn't fancy having to explain UNIT today of all days.

"Very handsome," Lavinia conceded. "Not the latest cut I imagine, but…"

"You look fantastic," Sarah cut in.

"As do you, my dear," he breathed, crossing the room and kissing her gently on the cheek.

"Is the car here?" Lavinia asked.

"Waiting outside," Alistair informed her.

"Right, well I shall go and get your bouquet from the fridge. Don't be too long, Sarah. It may be fashionable to be late but it's also expensive."

After Lavinia had gone, Sarah shot her friend an exasperated look.

"I don't think you'd want to be late, would you?" Alistair asked.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"If you knew something was going to happen… something bad, to someone you cared about. Would you stop it from happening, even if the consequences of that might be worse for everyone else?"

"Ah, the dilemma of having travelled with the Doctor," Alistair smiled, seeing through her motives clearly. "There's a reason we don't travel in time as a matter of course."

"I wouldn't have changed it for the world."

"I'm sure you wouldn't," he agreed, "but I'm also sure that the Doctor is very particular about the company he keeps. He chose you for a reason."

"He chose me?" she exclaimed loudly before remembering to keep her voice down.

"My dear, do you really think he would have let you stay with him if he didn't want you around?"

Beaten, she smiled. "I guess not."

"Like all of us, he was impressed. Strong-willed, determined, passionate. You knew what you wanted and you went for it."

"I want this," she said, her hands running down over the layers of her dress.

"And this decision you need to make?"

"I want that too, but if I go for it then I'm worried people will get hurt."

"Then you have to decide if it's worth the risk and consequences. I will always tell you that one life is as sacred as another, but there is the greater good to consider sometimes. Personal gain should never take priority over the safety of the community."

"What if that's what I'm doing now?" Sarah whispered.

She was doing this for her, no other reason. She was deeply in love with a man who loved her back. A man who was alive and well and waiting for her at the church. But this was not supposed to happen. She was not supposed to become Mrs Dalton; what would the consequences be of this for everyone else?

"I can't believe that for a moment," Alistair said, taking her hand in his and placing it on his arm. "How can two people being in love, celebrating that love, be the wrong decision?" He stopped and studied her expression. "What did you see?"

"Something… else," she decided on.

"Sarah, if you don't want to do this then say the word. We can leave now, you'll never have to see Peter again. If that's what you really want."

"Of course not," she said, her eyes shining with tears. "But it's not supposed to be like this. I'm not supposed to…" She stopped herself from blurting it all out – it would have been so easy to tell him everything.

"If you saw a future, when you were with the Doctor, then it may have just been a possible future. Things change all the time, Sarah. Different worlds, the same as ours but not quite. If you saw a world where you were not, for example, married to Peter and blissfully happy with a hoard of kids running around your feet, then that was one world, one existence.

"This is the here and now. This is our present and our future has yet to take shape. We have to believe that we have control over it because otherwise what's the point?"

That was what she'd been waiting almost two years to hear. She had come back, there was so much evidence to tell her that she was living her life over again. A Groundhog Day of thirty years. She was making the changes but they weren't really changes, were they? They were actions. Her decisions and they were laying out a new timeline. An alternative timeline. One she could shape and control.

Immediately the idea flashed into her head. The big house on Bannerman Road that she would buy with the inheritance from her aunt, filled with life and love. Her and Peter and their children. And Luke. _They_ would adopt Luke. She had all this time to plan and prepare and bring Peter into her world and she could have it all. The man she loved and the life she loved.

"So my dear," Alistair said, patting the hand that was on his arm. "What would you like to do?"

"I want to get married," she said with absolute conviction.

* * *

Throughout the ceremony Sarah tried to remain focussed on the man standing next to her. The Doctor was not about to burst in, she kept telling herself. Storm clouds are not going to dramatically roll in and people will not just disappear.

She was so distracted that Peter had to gently touch her arm to get her attention and with a self-chiding smile she turned to face him in order to recite their vows and place the wedding rings on their fingers.

No interruptions, no storm clouds, no disappearing.

The ceremony was completed and they moved to the side to sign the register. After she'd signed her name after his Sarah stepped back, allowing Harry and Alistair to take her place.

"You OK," Peter whispered, placing his hand on the small of her back. "You seem distracted."

"You're a very distracting man," she whispered back, allowing herself to begin to feel relieved.

"If anyone's going to be distracted it's me," he replied. "You look absolutely stunning."

Sarah turned to face him, her smile lighting up her entire face. "I love you, Peter."

"And I love you. Sarah Jane Dalton."

* * *

_"It all started when she threw a glass of wine all over me, and since then I've learnt to either catch or duck! But I know that whatever life throws at us, there's nothing I won't be ready for. I know this woman is the love of my life, we are meant to be together. Sarah left it to fate and therefore I have to believe that fate has brought us here today._

_ "This woman, my wife, is everything I have ever wanted out of life. She is my equal, my partner, my heart and soul. She supports me and challenges me… Well, she challenges me a lot! I suppose a journalist and a lawyer is an interesting mix to begin with. But for whatever reason, whatever higher power is controlling this and guiding us, we work. And we work well._

_ "My Sarah Jane. I will love you for as long as there is breath in my body. I will care for you and look after you, even when you don't want me to. I will be there for you, support you, counsel you and defend you – in court if need be! Above all else I will be your friend, your confidence, your sword and shield to face whatever lies ahead._

_ "So I would ask everyone here to charge your glasses in a toast to the most amazing woman the Universe has ever known. I give you my wife, Sarah Jane Dalton."_

* * *

They stumbled into the hotel room, not looking where they were going and crashing into various pieces of furniture. Hands pulled at clothing, grabbed at arms and faces, ran through hair as the passion and excitement that had been building all day was now fit to burst.

Part of Lavinia's gift, in addition to the deposit on a house, had been an executive suite for the weekend. Both of them couldn't afford to give up work for a proper honeymoon so she'd insisted that they be at least able to lock themselves away for 48 hours.

Right now there was one thing on their mind – the other. As Sarah allowed him to pull her to the bed, she reflected on this night that she didn't have before. Her other wedding night, spent sobbing into the Doctor's arms, enduring nightmare after nightmare.

If she woke up tomorrow in Bannerman Road then she would be happy, she reflected. She would have had this chance, her perfect wedding day with friends and loved ones. Dancing with Alistair and Harry at the reception, the latter crushing her toes more than once before Peter rescued her. The speeches and attention that she'd normally shy away from but today paid little attention to because there, beside her, was her _husband_. This was all new to her. Aliens, fine. Other worlds? Piece of cake. Even motherhood she was almost OK with. But being a wife? This was new, exciting, thrilling.

The Universe had allowed her a husband, was giving her the wedding night. The cost of that she'd accept.


	9. Chapter 9

In that half moment between sleep and awake, Sarah put her hands to her face to shield herself from the outside world that little bit longer. If this had all ended then she would accept it, but not for a little bit. The contact of skin on skin was refreshing, but there was the slight coolness of metal as well. Opening her eyes and lifting her hand she saw her engagement and wedding rings, still in place.

"No, it wasn't a dream," Peter whispered beside her as he caught her staring at them.

"Just checking."

"First day of the rest of our lives together," he said, reaching out under the covers for her body.

Sarah rolled onto her side so she was facing him, and placed the palm of her hand on his cheek. "I don't think I realised how much I wanted this until now," she whispered. "Everything I've done..."

"And what have you done?" he asked as she trailed off.

"There's something I need to tell you," she said, taking a deep breath. "You know I used to do work for the government? Well it was a special branch of it called UNIT. It's a group of people who investigate threats of a paranormal and extraterrestrial nature."

"Like... aliens?" he asked, trying to shake off the feeling he was still dreaming.

"Exactly like that. And I'm sorry to spring this on you now, but… well, there's things that have happened in my life that might have an impact on our future, and you deserve to know what you've let yourself in for."

Peter thought about it for a moment then smiled. "I guess you should start at the beginning."

"In the 70s I got a tip off about some weird things happening at a research facility. I managed to get in..."

* * *

Sarah kissed Harry on the cheek before they took their seats at the table.

"So how's married life treating you, old girl?"

"Absolutely fine," she smiled at him.

"Must be; you didn't tell me off."

"Still in the honeymoon period I guess."

"After nearly six months?"

"Must be."

"Never imagined you'd be the settling down type," Harry said, glancing over the menu and trying to decide what to order.

"Time was I didn't either," she admitted, "but with Peter..."

"I spoke to the Brigadier the other day – he sends his love by the way – and he mentioned that you'd told Peter..."

"Not everything," she said quickly. "I told him about UNIT, about what kinds of things UNIT were involved in. Those years with the Doctor, he thinks I was working with them. Kind of a research, PR girl."

"How did he cope with the idea of aliens?"

"It... took some getting used to!" she laughed. "But I think he's coping because he's telling himself that we didn't actually find anything, like we were some UFO hunters."

"But..."

Sarah dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "You know the truth, I know the truth, Peter knows it… but he pretends not to. It keeps him happy and if he's happy, I'm happy."

"Look at you," Harry grinned. "You are loving this domestic stuff far too much. Be kids next." He caught the fleeting look across her face and gave a short laugh. "You're not...?"

"No I am not!" she said a little too loudly than she'd planned.

"Oh you will be, old girl. I have a hunch."

"You are out of line." Her tone reinforced her words, but there was a slight glint in her eye that told Harry he was not that far off the mark. "Have you…?"

"Not a word."

"Right."

"Do you miss him, Sarah?"

"No. Yes. Maybe just a bit?"

"You don't sound so sure."

"I guess I just thought..."

"...that he would come back for you?" Harry guessed.

Sarah pretended to study her menu and let him assume that he was right. In truth she was constantly expecting him to turn up and give her a lecture on changing time. It was now 1983, nearly two years since she "returned" and changed things. She was conscious of being very careful about what she did or said so she didn't change anything major.

She was living a very quiet, happy life in London with her lawyer husband, establishing herself as a journalist (OK, so maybe having decades of practice at writing good articles meant that she was making progress a bit faster than she had done the first time) and doing up the old house she and Peter had bought just after their wedding. In a relatively short space of time they had finished almost every room in the house; all but one bedroom. That final bedroom was empty, bare, no features at all.

Spare room? Or nursery?

It was a conversation they'd tactfully avoided but it was bound to come up soon enough and Sarah was slightly worried about how he was going to react. They'd never talked about kids before (the first time) because obviously at that age it was a moot point. Peter had never expressed any regrets at not being a father, but this was different. There was a part of her that had always regretted not having kids. Of course she'd never found the man she would have wanted kids with before, but now she had that chance.

She wanted to be a mum.

And then suddenly, without warning or hesitation, she was overwhelmed with just how much she was missing Luke. She had tried to put him to the back of her mind, focus on the fact that he wasn't gone, he just wasn't here yet. But for years her every waking thought and unconscious action had revolved around him and Luke not being here had left a gap in her heart that was not being filled – and wouldn't be for over twenty years.

Maybe that was why she wanted kids now; someone she could love and mother and take care of until that day.

"You OK?" Harry asked, breaking into her thoughts.

"Yeah, I just... I'll be back in a minute," she said, pushing her chair back and getting to her feet.

Once excused she made her way quickly to the ladies' and, placing her hands on the marble sink unit, stared at her reflection. Today's date hadn't passed her by, and she'd wanted to spend time with Harry in order to avoid having the children conversation with Peter.

Today, in 25 years' time, she would be in the Bubbleshock factory, on the run from Mrs Wormwood, and discovering her neighbour and the Archetype hiding in the ladies' toilets – not unlike what she was doing now she realised with a wry smile.

"I miss you," she whispered to no one in particular, "and I will see you again. I promise, Luke." Closing her eyes as the tears finally escaped she added a silent _I love you_ before taking a deep breath.

* * *

"How was lunch?" Peter called from upstairs as he heard the front door shut.

He waited for her response but there was none, only the sound of her footsteps on the stairs. Putting down his papers he turned in the chair to look at the office door, which opened seconds later.

"I want kids," Sarah blurted out.

"What kind of lunch did you have?" Peter quipped, getting to his feet. As he got closer he noticed her eyes and was immediately concerned. "Have you been crying?"

"No. Yes. I want kids, Peter, and I need to know if you want them or not."

"Is this what you discussed over lunch? Because as much as I like Harry I'm not sure…"

"Just answer the question," she interrupted. "Do you want kids or not?"

Peter smiled and took her hands in his. He led her back to the chair where he sat, pulling her down into his lap. "First tell me where this has come from. No mentions of this until now..."

"I just..." she began, then quickly tried to think of how she could finish that sentence with her marriage intact. "Harry said something about kids being next and I realised that I want them, Peter. Lots of them."

"Badly by the look of it," he said, crooking his index finger and running it down her tear-stained cheek.

"If I'm honest then this is something I've known for a while, and I know I should have said something sooner..."

"Sarah..."

"You don't want kids do you," she muttered.

"Sarah..."

"It's fine..." She tried to get up but he held her in his lap. "Peter..."

"I love you, Sarah Jane," he said. "I have loved you pretty much from the moment you threw wine all over me. I am _completely_ happy with my life as it is. You, me... the issue of what to do with the spare room?"

"Spare room," she whispered. His choice of words seemed to confirm to her what he wanted.

"Yeah. You want kids?"

"I want you," she said. "I have only ever wanted you and anything else above that... It doesn't matter."

"It doesn't matter? You've been in floods of tears over this, you came up here and blurted out that you want kids, but it doesn't matter?"

Sarah gave a small shrug and sighed. She leant over, resting her head on his. "I don't know," she laughed softly.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear.

"I love you too."

"And I would love to have a family with you," he breathed.


	10. Chapter 10

"I'm so sorry," the doctor said, "but there really was nothing we could do."

Peter clenched his jaw and nodded. "Why…?"

"Who knows? This is just one of those…" He stopped. "I'm sorry."

Peter nodded, and watched the doctor walk away from him. He walked into the side room, pushing the door shut behind him. "Sarah?" he said softly, looking at the small figure curled up on the bed. "Sarah?"

She said nothing.

He walked around the bed so he was standing in front of her. After a minute she shifted over and let him climb up to lay next to her, sitting up slightly so she could settle back down on his shoulder.

"I'm so, so, so sorry," she whispered as the tears began to drop onto his shirt.

"I hate it when you say that."

"I can't do this anymore. I just… I can't…"

"Sarah…"

"This is not just me reacting, this is not me hurting… This is me saying I can't do it. I can't go through this again."

"It's OK," he soothed. "I understand."

But she could tell that he didn't. Partly because she wasn't sure she understood it herself.

* * *

Peter dropped the bag in the hallway as Sarah headed straight for the stairs and climbed them. He followed her up to the spare room they had begun to turn into a nursery and joined her in the doorway.

"Lavinia told me that getting stuff in for the baby early is bad luck. I'm now thinking there might be something in it."

"Sarah," Peter said softly, wrapping his arms protectively around her waist.

"I haven't changed my mind. I can't."

"You want kids. We both do."

"I know."

"Then what's changed?"

"Five miscarriages in three years," she said bluntly. She peeled his arms from her body and moved away from the nursery. "I can't go through that again, Peter. I just can't. No matter how much I want something."

Peter watched her walk into their room, closing the door behind her. Looking back at the room he took in all the things they'd bought each time, thinking that this was it. The crib, the nursing chair, the brightly decorated walls…

He walked into the room, sat on the nursing chair, and after putting his head in his hands he began to cry.

* * *

She was still awake when he came to bed, curling in behind her body. He could feel her body shaking with quiet sobs, and when he pressed his face into her back she could feel the tears soaking through her top.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice seeming unnaturally loud in the quiet room.

"For what? It's not your fault, love."

"Feels like it sometimes. I mean, I get pregnant easily enough but staying pregnant… I just feel like I've failed somehow."

"Failed who exactly?" he asked, running his fingers through her hair.

"You."

He sat up slightly, propping himself up on one arm so he could look at her. "Me? Why?"

"I can't give you a baby."

"I have you," he whispered, leaning over and kissing her temple. "Anything else would have been a bonus."

"Yeah, it would have been."

"I love you, Sarah. More than anything. And I know this has been so hard…"

"I don't need time, Peter, I don't need to think about this. I can't do it. I can't go through the worry and the stress and… Maybe I'm just one of those women who's never going to have a kid of her own."

"OK," he said, kissing the side of her mouth.

"You're really OK with this?"

"I hate seeing you like this. I hate it when you're suffering and I can't do anything about it. And if this is what you need… then this is what you'll have."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being here. For being a part of my life. I love you, Peter."

"Love you too. My Sarah Jane."

* * *

"No… no… I'm sure it's nothing. Yes, I'll let you know. Thank you, Alistair."

Peter hung up the phone and glanced at his watch. She had said she would be back by six, now it was almost nine. She had said she was seeing Alistair but he'd not seen her for weeks. Neither had Harry, and that meant that for the last three weeks when she'd been going off to catch up with them she had been lying to him.

If he was honest things between them hadn't been right for months. She had been distant, flinching whenever he went near her. He had hoped that it was just a phase, that she would snap out of it. After her fifth miscarriage she'd gotten depressed; he'd almost accepted that. They'd gotten help, she'd gone to all the counselling sessions, and he'd begun to believe that she was starting to heal.

Now she was lying to him – where she was going, who she was with. His mind raced through all possibilities. He wanted to believe that it was for some story but her editor had confirmed that Sarah hadn't come back to work after she lost the baby. He didn't want to think that she was having an affair, and he still maintained that he looked in her diary to disprove it.

Instead there had been weekly entries, detailing names and meetings of people he didn't know.

He was sitting on the lower steps when he heard her key turn in the lock. Sarah walked in, pushing the door shut behind her with a look of confusion on her face.

"Peter…?" she began, her eyes flicking from him to the bag by his feet.

"Alistair says he's not heard from you in a while, and that you should give him a call. Harry's not happy you cancelled dinner last week, wants to know when's good for you."

"Peter…"

"Just… tell me you're not having an affair," he said.

"An affair?" she repeated. "Oh… Peter… I would never…" She walked over to him, holding out her hands to him. "I am not having an affair. I promise."

"Then where have you been?" he asked. "Because I am struggling to work out why you would lie to me."

"I'm sorry… I just… didn't know what to do. I was _so_ scared."

"Scared about what?" he asked. "Because right now, Sarah, I'm scared."

"After everything… I couldn't do it to you. I wanted to… I needed to protect you."

"Protect me from what?" he asked, frustration creeping into his voice.

"When I said I was with… I had appointments."

"Appointments?" he asked.

She nodded. "I was at the hospital today…"

Peter felt his stomach turn over. Of course she wasn't cheating on him. He hated himself for thinking it when it all started to become clear. After losing five babies what was the one thing he was most scared of now? Losing her.

Sarah watched his train of thought flash behind her eyes, and she quickly placed her hands on his face, cupping his jaw. "I'm fine, I promise," she said quickly.

Relieved, Peter put his hands over hers, pulling them from his face. "Then what?"

She freed one of her hands and shoved it into her jacket pocket. "I'm sorry you weren't there, but until I knew…"

"Knew what?" Peter asked, taking the paper from her. He unfolded it and his stomach turned over again. "This is…"

"Everything's fine. I've had just about every test they can run, that's the third scan. Everything's… perfect."

"You're pregnant?" he managed to say, allowing the idea to sink in.

"Three months," she said, her mouth curling up into a grin. "You're gonna be a dad."

Peter looked up at his wife, her smile wide and genuine, but nervously waiting for his reaction. He tugged on the hand he was still holding and pulled her down on top of him, his smiling mouth finding her grinning one and stealing it in a kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

"I can't do this," Sarah all but sobbed, clinging onto Peter's shoulders.

"Yes you can," he said, reaching around her and rubbing her lower back. "Come on, love, we're almost there."

"I can't. I've had enough."

"Bit late to back out now," he laughed softly.

"You're not helping," she growled. "I... want... this... over with!"

"It'll take as long as it takes," he said, then moved back as her hand began to move from his shoulder to take a swing at him. "I know this is just your hormones and..."

"No, love, this has more to do with the fact that I am trying to squeeze out this bowling ball. Your bowling ball. Your fault."

"You were there too," he reminded her, then quickly added, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"I can't do this, Peter. I just can't."

"Yes you can," he soothed, kissing her hairline. "You're doing amazingly well, we're nearly there."

"You've been saying that for almost a day. It doesn't last this long on TV!"

"We were warned that first labour can be long."

"Long?" she said, shooting him a glance. "We're approaching the twenty-four hour mark and I am _not_ nearly there. Look around you, Peter. No doctors, no nurses, no midwives. If I was 'nearly there' as so many people see fit to tell me then this place would be busier than Kings Cross station!"

"Leave him be, Sarah," came a short voice from the doorway. ""He's trying his best."

"I just want this to be over," she said, turning in Peter's arms to face her aunt.

"Your mother said pretty much the same thing."

Sarah instantly forgot the ebbing contraction. "Did she?"

"Of course in those days men weren't allowed anywhere near the labour wards; your father did the dutiful thing and paced up and down outside. Your mother... she was so scared so I stayed with her. I was there when you were born."

Peter continued to rub his hand up and down his wife's spine, feeling her whole body relax – albeit temporarily – as she listened to her aunt.

"I'll warn you now," Lavinia said, draping her jacket over the back of a chair, "all babies when they are born are ugly. Oh you'll love it and you'll think it's the most beautiful creature on this earth, but it'll also be red and squashed and probably screaming its little lungs out."

"Is it too late to change my mind?" Peter quipped to Sarah.

"I don't care if it's got two heads," Sarah said, "nothing is going to stop me loving my baby."

"Me either," Peter said, kissing the back of her neck.

"Well, love is blind," Lavinia said, walking over to Sarah and kissing her niece on her cheek. "You were small and red and screaming the place down and your parents couldn't have loved you more. I remember looking at your mother and... Well, it was the first time I really envied her."

"I wish she was here," Sarah whispered as the next contraction hit.

"I know, darling," Lavinia soothed, gripping one of Sarah's hands in hers. "But you've got us. Your father wanted to stay but he was told to go and he went. I don't think an army could move this one."

"Not a chance," Peter said softly, his hand shifting around to her swollen belly. He felt the contraction pull across her, trying to push apart the two most important people in his world.

* * *

She was right – it wasn't like it was in the movies. She wasn't screaming, yelling and cursing. Her entire body was focussed on the end goal. Lavinia was the one waiting outside, Peter was holding one of Sarah's hands while the other scraped at the hair now plastered with sweat on her head.

He found himself thinking about random moments from the past six months. That night when she'd told him she was pregnant, shown him the scan, they'd barely made it off the stairs. That night he'd slept with his hand almost surgically attached to her stomach, and it had become a habit ever since. When she was four months pregnant he tactfully suggested that she give up work and stay at home. He didn't want any stress interfering with the pregnancy (they weren't using the word miracle, but they thought it every time the baby kicked). She'd agreed fairly quickly, finding herself an editor and writing science fiction books. Peter read over a couple of chapters and realised that it wasn't all fiction but couldn't bring himself to ask. Deniability was the only way he was able to deal with Sarah's time at UNIT.

They'd finished the nursery in tasteful neutral colours. Sarah had found an artistic streak and painted a mural on one of the walls, they'd stocked up on as much as they could, making plans for the things they would buy as soon as they knew it was a boy or girl. They'd fought about names but after months they couldn't decide on anything that either of them liked; discussed schooling options (Sarah was vehemently opposed to private schools and after she'd kicked him out of their bed one night he'd given in fairly rapidly); and he'd mentioned once about making provision in their wills for who would look after the baby if they both died, and she'd promptly burst into tears.

"OK, Sarah, just hold on for one moment..." the midwife said.

"Hold on?" Sarah managed to mutter, wondering how you 'held on' mid-labour.

"Hey," Peter said, getting her attention. "I love you."

She narrowed her eyes. "This is not news."

"No, right now you are the person I love most in this world. Given that's about to change I thought it was worth saying."

"I love you too," Sarah replied. "More than you know. But just so you're aware, soon as this baby's here? You're not getting a look in."

"OK, the head's clear," the midwife said. "One more push. Dad, you want to cut the cord?"

It took Peter a second to realise that she meant him – the word 'dad' sounded unfamiliar anywhere outside of his head, but he nodded.

"Right then. Let's get this baby here."

* * *

She had never felt like this and it seemed like it was taking her forever to shuffle out of the bathroom. Using the wall for support she walked back into her room, stopping just inside the door. Peter was stood by the window, holding their daughter in his arms. He turned to look at Sarah, his face lighting up with a whole new kind of love.

"You name her," Sarah said, unable to hold onto the arguments. It didn't matter anymore – none of it did.

Lavinia had come in when the baby had been cleaned up, and said that it was possible that this baby wasn't the ugliest one she'd seen. Sarah and Peter had exchanged glances and smiled at Lavinia's apparent inability to admit when she was wrong. She'd then raced off to "do the honours" with letting people know and buying her grand-niece a suitable going home outfit.

Sarah carefully made her way to the bed and sat on the edge. She'd been a mum before, but adopting a genetically grown, seemingly teenage boy was a million miles away from this and also right on top of it. Peter sat next to her on the bed, and Sarah all but climbed into his lap to get close to the now-sleeping infant. Newborn daughter was clean, fed (oh dear god she was never going to get the hang of breast feeding), and now fast asleep in her father's arms, her tiny mouth forming the perfect o.

"You're sure?" he asked, terrified of picking a name she'd hate.

"Don't really care." Sarah carefully ran a finger down the baby's cheek, marvelling at how soft her skin was.

"I love you, Mrs Dalton," Peter said, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Thank you."

"For what?"  
"For this."

"You helped," she quipped. "So. Ideas on a name?"

"Just one," he said.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "What was that one you wanted? Deborah?"

"No, this is a new one."

"Yeah?" she asked, not taking her eyes off the sleeping child.

"Nicole," Peter said.

Sarah finally looked up at him and smiled. "I love it."

"Really?"

"Really. Nicole Dalton. Nicole Grace Dalton."

"Grace?"

"You don't like it?" she asked.

"I love it. Nicole Grace. Welcome to the world, little one."

This was why she'd come back. A life, a home, a family with this man. Everything she wanted she had. That night, dreaming in a room in a house she wouldn't own for years, this was what she wanted. Well, not quite this. She was sure that in her dream there had been several kids. Maybe there would be more, maybe whatever had caused her to lose five babies had gone. Or maybe she'd just been unlucky. Whatever it was she was now a mum. A "proper" mum. This little girl would grow up, a little version of her and Peter. She was already noticing the features she'd inherited from each of them; his eyes were hidden behind her tiny eyelids (and those tiny eyelashes would kill her) and she knew that whenever her daughter looked at her with her father's eyes she'd never be able to refuse her anything.

She'd never be able to refuse her anything anyway.

Suddenly, entwined with the overwhelming love, there was overwhelming fear. She knew all too well what the universe was like, and more than that she knew what was going to happen in the next twenty years. If she carried on this path, if she met up with the Doctor at Defry Vale, if she helped the Xylok crystal build a supercomputer, if she went to the Bubble Shock factory... what would she be exposing her daughter to? Every cell in her body was already geared up to protect Nicole, and she couldn't stand the mere _idea_ of her being anywhere near Slitheen and Sontarans and the Trickster.

"You OK?" Peter asked.

"Just... thinking."

"There's a lot to take in, isn't there?"

"I can't believe we're responsible for her. She needs us for _everything_. How can we protect her?"

"We'll do our best, love," he said, putting his free arm around her shoulders. "If I could I think I'd lock her up in her room for the rest of her life, but..."

"But we can't do that. She's going to have to experience the world, isn't she?"

"Anything and everything. Except boys. She's never dating."

"Peter!"

"I'm telling you now, there is not a boy on this planet who will be allowed near her."

"Maybe she'll like girls instead," Sarah quipped.

"Leave me alone with my irrationalities. Father's prerogative."

"Fine. Dad," she added.

"Thank you. Mum."

Sarah looked up at him and smiled, kissing him gently. "Thank you," she whispered.


	12. Chapter 12

It happened when Nicole was seven months old. They'd believed that their run of bad luck was over, not that it had been planned. On a whim Sarah had taken a pregnancy test, and stared in shock as the second line appeared on the white stick. Shoving it into her pocket she went downstairs where Peter was already trying to encourage Nicole that she wanted to eat the food he was presenting to her instead of redecorate the kitchen in it.

"Maybe Mummy will have better luck," he said to the brown-eyed girl who was grinning up at her mother.

"Maybe," she said, slightly distracted.

"You OK?" Peter asked.

"Let me try," she said, ignoring the question. She slipped into Peter's vacated seat and picked up the plastic spoon. "Come on then, little one. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

Nicole happily accepted the spoon, her lips and tongue smacking the paste around her mouth. The new tastes were obviously not to her liking and she screwed up her face in protest and scowled.

"Oh she looks just like you," Peter exclaimed.

Sarah looked up at him with a look on her face.

"Yes, exactly like that!" he laughed. When Sarah didn't retort he knew that something was up. Picking up the bowl from in front of Nicole, he removed the offending item which made his daughter so much happier. If only it was all going to be that simple. "I'll get her something else," he said, moving away to the sink but keeping Sarah in his peripheral vision.

Sarah wiped Nicole's face down, clearing off the food that she'd managed to get all over the place. Her daughter was, as always, so placid and complacent with her; happy to let Sarah fuss and do whatever she wanted – well, within reason. As soon as mum stopped what she was doing and began staring into space, Nicole pulled a face.

"I think someone wants you," Peter said.

She jumped, not expecting his voice to be so close.

"Sarah?"

She wasn't going to be able to put him off any longer, and so she shoved her hand into her pocket, her fingers closing around the stick. She pulled it out and held it out to Peter who didn't even bother to take it.

"You wouldn't be this distracted if it was negative."

She said nothing.

"You OK?"

"I... don't know. For one thing, Nicole's only a few months old!"

"So they'll be close."

"After everything..."

"Hey," he said, kissing the top of her head, "it'll be fine. There's proof that it can happen right in front of you."

Nicole reached out and Sarah moved her hand within reach. Her tiny fingers grabbed around one of hers and she grinned up at her mother.

"See?" Peter said, resting his cheek on her head. "Might just be fine."

* * *

She miscarried at five weeks.

Sarah woke at four in the morning, the familiar crushing pain across her stomach pulling her out of her dream of a Sunday afternoon picnic with her little family of four. In her dream it had been a boy, his head full of black curls. Nicole was a miniature her, but the boy – what had been his name? – was Peter through and through.

Pushing back the covers she staggered to the bathroom. Let Peter sleep for a little bit longer, maybe he was dreaming of his son too, there would be time for grief later.

* * *

When she came home from the hospital she ignored Lavinia and went straight upstairs to Nicole's room. She had just been put down for her afternoon nap but was still awake. Without thinking about the consequences of disturbing Nicole's routine, Sarah lifted her up into her arms and held her tight against her chest. Sarah rocked gently and Nicole settled in her arms, listening to her mother's heartbeat.

Sarah inhaled deeply, breathing in that scent that was so familiar to her and so overwhelming. Her beautiful baby girl, her little miracle. She had a child, she was a mother. In eighteen years' time she would meet Luke... Maybe he would complete their family as a fourth rather than a fifth.

This was it. She'd said once before that she couldn't go through it again but this time she meant it. She was going to focus on raising her daughter, building a home, and preparing Peter for the day when her past would come crashing into their lives. One day the Doctor would arrive at a seemingly ordinary high school, right about the time she would get suspicious about UFOs and record results.

If she was honest she was dreading that day too. If she didn't go then she wouldn't be set on the course that led to the house in Bannerman Road and her investigation of Bubble Shock. If she went then she would stand in front of the last Time Lord with the weight of a changed history behind her. He would know, right? He would look at her and he would... just know.

What then? What about her little and perfect family? Nicole was everything to her, Peter a very close second. She would do anything and everything to protect her daughter and that overwhelmed her. If the Doctor wanted to take her back then he would have one hell of a fight on her hands. She smiled as she remembered all the times they would fight and banter and she realised that all of that would seem like a minor disagreement.

Nicole finally fell asleep in her arms and it was with reluctance that Sarah put her down in her crib. She watched her daughter sleep until the familiar arms wrapped around her stomach.

"We OK?" Peter whispered in her ear.

"We're fine."

"You OK then?"

"...I will be."

"I spoke to the doctor at the hospital."

"Peter..."

"For me. We are not going to go through that again, I promise."

She turned in his arm to look at him. "You're sure?"

He nodded and kissed the tip of her nose. "It is my duty to protect my wife."  
"Your duty?" she laughed; a real laugh.

"You know what I mean. I hate seeing you like this, and she needs a mum who's..."

"Not terrified of falling pregnant again?"

"Something like that. We have our family. You and I survived as only children, I'm sure Nicole will too. Let's just... focus on her, OK?"

"I love you," Sarah breathed, never meaning it more than she did right then.

"I love you too," he replied.


	13. Chapter 13

"Aren't you going to be late?"

Sarah glanced at her watch and nodded, swallowing the last mouthful of her tea.

"So what is it today?"

"It's... a profile on a new headteacher. Taken over a failing school and is getting record results."

"Sounds good," Peter said.

"You'd think," she said with a smile.

"You going to be home for dinner?"

"With the little one cooking?" she grinned. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

"You really need to stop calling me that," Nicole said, not looking up from her paper.

"Never," Sarah replied, leaning over to kiss the top of her head.

"Nearly eighteen, Nic," she muttered to herself, "then you can move out, do your own thing. Get away from the terminal embarrassment that are your parents."

"I'll see you tonight, Nicole," Sarah said.

"Don't..."

"Call you that," she finished with a laugh. "Such respect for those that named her and raised her."

Nicole finally looked up from the paper and glared at her mother.

"Don't scowl at me young lady!"

"And why not?" Nicole asked.

"Because that's _my_ scowl!"

Peter couldn't suppress his laugh any longer, but he quickly covered it up as a coughing fit as mother and daughter united against a common enemy.

"Don't you need to go?" he asked Sarah, trying to find an escape route for them all.

"Yeah," she said, suddenly unconvinced.

"You OK, Mum?" Nicole asked. "You look like it's your first day or something."

"I'm fine," she covered.

Nicole had inherited her father's ability to see through her attempts at covering her feelings. "Yeah. Sure."

"It just feels a bit weird, that's all. The result this new head's gotten in a short space of time?"

"Watch out, Nic," Peter said, "your mother's on the hunt."

"Something like that," she smiled. "I'll see you tonight. Hey, um... How much are you cooking?"

Nic laughed – her mother's laugh – and gestured at the pile of ingredients in the corner of the kitchen. "Think I need to work on my portion sizes."

"Tell you what, I'll see if I can bring a few friends over? Make it into a proper dinner party if you want?"

Nicole was pleased with the idea of turning a potentially boring dinner with her parents into one with guests, and immediately her mind began to plan table settings. She grabbed at one of the notepads and pulled a pen from where it was always stashed in her hair clip, scribbling notes.

"Look what you've started," Peter said, rolling his eyes.

"Leave you to it," Sarah replied with a glint in her eye. "See you tonight. Bye, _Nicole_."

Her daughter was so engrossed in her new plans that she didn't bother looking up, waving her free hand as a goodbye gesture.

Sarah grabbed her bag on the way out and got into her car, taking a deep breath as she turned the key in the ignition. The paperwork she'd thrown onto the passenger seat spilled out, the logo of Defry Vale prominent on the top. She glanced in her rear view mirror, trying not to look at the blanket she'd thrown over K9. It was funny; last time she'd brought him simply because she couldn't risk leaving him behind. This time she knew to bring him because the Doctor would fix him and he would help to save everyone. If you'd asked her then she wouldn't have been able to tell you why she brought her "daft metal dog" along that time. This time? She knew.

Of course this time around K9 hadn't been that big a secret. Nicole had loved the toy when she was growing up, and Peter had accepted her explanation that it had come from UNIT. He did that a lot; chose what to believe when it came to her past. She loved his willingness to accept her past, her life, and try to make it fit with the life he knew now.

But if today was going to go the way she knew it had, knew it would, then he wouldn't be able to deny it for much longer. Then what?

* * *

  
Her skin crawled all the more as Mr Finch showed her to the staffroom. Before she'd been suspicious, now she knew what he was, what he did. All that was forgotten though as they walked towards that door. Her heart began to hammer in her chest as she knew this was it, this was the moment when she faced the Doctor. The first time she had no idea who this new science teacher was, just a guy who seemed far too pleased to see her and who was called by a familiar name.

This time...

"Excuse me, colleagues, a moment of your time," Mr Finch purred as they entered the staffroom.

_Do not look at him,_ she told herself. _Do not look at him, do not draw attention to yourself._ Unable to help herself her eyes flickered towards him; he was staring at her, his mouth curling up in a smile.

"...don't spare my blushes."

And with that she was alone, looking around the room. The Doctor was the only one who seemed to be paying attention to her and so it would be rude, weird if she didn't go to him first.

"Hello," she said, walking over and her heart stopping for a moment as she waited for him to react, to shake her hand and to just look at her in that 'what have you done?' way.

"Oh I should think so," he gushed.

"And you are...?"

"Oh, um. Smith. John Smith."

Was he just putting on a show? Doing what was expected? He could hardly have a go at her for changing time in front of witnesses – especially when half of them were Krillitanes.

"John Smith? I used to have a friend who sometimes went by that name." _There's your cue, Doctor. Please take it. I can't bear this anymore._

"Well it's a very common name."

"He was a... very uncommon man. Nice to meet you." She held out her hand and he shook it with enthusiasm.

"Nice to meet you. Yes, very nice. More than nice. Brilliant!"

This confused her. This was how it had been the first time; he'd known her, she'd not known him, and now they were replaying it. How could he not know?

Some all powerful Time Lord...

* * *

It played on her mind all day; what was he playing at? It looked like this was all as it had done before and therefore she was going to go with it. So here she was, an hour and a half away from Nicole's dinner party (and she hoped that it was going to play out as before otherwise she'd never be able to convince them to come for dinner – and was she _insane_ in thinking it?), climbing in through the window of the school.

"You really need to think things through, Sarah Jane," she muttered to herself as she walked through the corridors. She remembered trying the head's door first before heading to the gym so that was what she had to do. Kill time before that meeting.

* * *

"Hello, Sarah Jane."

He really didn't know. It was just the two of them now, he could say whatever he wanted to and he still didn't say anything. No hauling her over the coals for changing time, no comment about Peter or Nicole. In fact he did nothing that he didn't do before and so she played along.

Funny thing was, reliving the conversation with Rose about how the Doctor never mentioned her? That still hurt.

* * *

After the café she turned to the Doctor, wondering if she should really do this. Last time she'd invited them back to the flat that she owned, and they'd sat up half the night discussing old and new times.

"So... where will you go tonight?" she asked.

The Doctor shrugged.

"Well there's room at mine if you want," she offered, smiling as the Doctor's face lit up. "Be plenty for dinner too, Nicole's cooking."

"Nicole?" the Doctor asked – real confusion on his face.

"Yeah, my daughter," she said without thinking about how that little bombshell was going to go down.

"D-daughter?" he stuttered.

"Yeah," she smiled. "Eighteen next month. Makes me feel old."

"Never," the Doctor grinned. "Is... dad about?"

Sarah held up her left hand in response.

"I thought you said your name was Smith," Rose said.

"Smith for professional reasons, it's Dalton now." Sarah's eyes flickered to the Doctor but there was no hint of recognition.

"Congratulations," he said with real warmth.

"So. Dinner?" she offered and was rewarded with three grins.


	14. Chapter 14

She'd bought the house in Bannerman Road with her aunt's inheritance. A few years earlier than she'd done before, but the house had sat empty for years before she'd picked up the keys. Now she'd turned it into a family home for the three of them.

"One thing," Sarah said as they pulled up outside. "They don't know. About..."

"Me?" the Doctor finished.

"So what's the cover story?" Mickey asked.

"Distant relative?" the Doctor asked.

"That'd take some explaining," Sarah said. "Just..."

"Family friend?" Rose said. "Smith, but no relation."

"Best option. Nic's been planning this dinner, I said I'd try and get some friends over..."

"We'll manage," the Doctor said, clambering out of the car. "Always do."

Sarah got out of the car and sighed as the Doctor stared up at the house, shoving his hands into his pockets. This was going to be an interesting night.

* * *

Nicole was in her element, and deftly served up a three course meal to her assembled guests. At first her eye had been caught by the tall, almost lanky one who grinned like an idiot when they were introduced, but since then he seemed to be keeping his distance. So she'd turned her attention to Mickey, who was happy enough to chat to her about her plans. Unlike her parents, who had high aspirations of University and degrees, she felt she could talk to him about her hospitality plans.

"You could so do this," Mickey said, gesturing to the remains of dinner.

"I mean, everyone loves a dinner party, right?" Nicole said. "But who can be fussed with the shopping and cooking and cleaning up? You want to be entertaining. So I go in, do everything for you, and people can get on with their party."

"Sounds like a winner."

"Tell that to Dad," she scowled.

"Not keen?"

"He thinks it's a nice enough idea, but he keeps going on about a 'back up plan'. Wish he'd just let me get on with my life and what I want to do."

"Well that's parents for ya. Rose's mum isn't too keen on her travelling about with... John, but it's what Rose wants so..."

"What does John do?" she asked.

"I guess you could call him an explorer. He travels, sees stuff."

"And he just invited Rose to go with him?" Nicole glanced over at 'John' and sighed. "Lucky girl."

Mickey laughed. "You like him."

"What's not to like? Only he doesn't seem to even want to talk to me."

"That would be your mum's influence," Mickey whispered conspiratorially. "She saw you were keen, she's put the fear into him."

"No way! Why would she do that?"

"Trust me, it's for the best."

"I can handle myself."  
"I don't doubt that," Mickey laughed. "If you're anything like your mother I don't doubt that at all."

At the other end of the table, the Doctor and Rose were getting a potted history of Sarah's life to date. Peter had wondered how John could be an 'old family friend' when he was clearly not much older than their daughter, but he'd just shrugged and said he was older than he looked.

"Plus his family were more Lavinia's friends than mine," Sarah said.

"Right," Peter said, trying to get it straight in his head. "Your parents were the engineers at UNIT, right?"

"Hmm?" the Doctor asked.

"They built that... robot dog?"

"OH! Yes, yes that's them."

"Shame it stopped working. Nic loved that thing."

Sarah shot the Doctor an apologetic glance and poured herself and Rose another glass of wine each.

"And how long have you two been together?" Peter asked.

"Well it's been what? A year or so now?" the Doctor said, looking at Rose.

"And still no plans to settle down?"

"What?"

"You two are...?" Peter began.

"What? No!"

The protest came simultaneously from Rose and Sarah; Peter and the Doctor looked at their respective partners with confusion and slight bemusement.

"We're just mates," Rose said.

"Peter!" Sarah hissed.

"I'm trying to work it out!" he said. "I'm beginning to think your side of the family is very complicated indeed."

"You don't know the half of it," Sarah muttered into her wine glass.

* * *

As soon as the Doctor had put down the plates he'd been carrying, Sarah hit him – with some force – on his arm.

"What was that for?" he protested, rubbing the sore point.

"You are making my life _very_ difficult," she hissed, checking to see that they'd not been followed. Peter hadn't been fooled by her sudden insistence that John help her clear the table. "Peter is getting more questions than answers."

"That's hardly my fault."

"I remember when you were good at this," she muttered, scraping the plates and stacking them by the sink.

"Good at what?"

"Blending in, not being suspicious."

The Doctor's brow creased as he recalled a number of their trips. "I..."

"You know what I mean," she said. "You could walk in and out of a place and leave nothing but a breeze. And here you are, throwing... bombshells into my family."

"You invited us here," he pointed out. He leant back against the unit and folded his arms. "Why was that?"

"What?"

"Why did you invite us back here?"

"I told you," she said, feeling flustered. "Nicole was cooking..." She caught his eye and sighed. "I don't know," she admitted. "I guess I just..."

"I'm really pleased for you," he said – and he meant it. "So long as you're happy."

"I am."

"Then I'm happy for you. Peter seems like a nice guy. Bit surprised you married a _lawyer_..."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Heard all the jokes."

"I'm sure I could think of a few new ones."

"I wouldn't bet on it," Peter said as he joined them. "After twenty five years, you hear a lot of them."

"Give me time," the Doctor said. "I do love a challenge." He glanced at Sarah. "I get that from my parents. They were always setting puzzles for Lavinia and vice versa. Better than a Christmas card."

"Oh, so your parents were friends of Sarah's aunt?" Peter said.

"Yeah," Sarah said.

"I did wonder how you and John..."

"Mum and Lavinia kept in touch," the Doctor lied effortlessly, "but when Lavinia died that was it. I had no idea where Sarah was, running in to her today was..."

"Fate?" Peter finished, sharing a glance with Sarah.

"Guess so," he said. "Look, I should..."

He walked off, leaving them in the kitchen.

"You OK?" Sarah asked.

"Just trying to work it all out," he said, slipping his arms around her waist. "Not sure what to make of John."

"That's pretty common," Sarah laughed. "Or so I hear," she covered.

"And he and Rose aren't...?"

"They're just friends."

"You're sure? Because I've seen how they look at each other."

"I'm sure," she said, kissing him gently. "Now, help me with coffee?"

"I was thinking I should go back in there..."

"Nic will be fine."

"I know, it's not..."  
"Not you wanting to check up on your daughter?" she teased.

"Oh, she's _my_ daughter?"

"When you're being like this, yes."

"Right, well then I can do what I want."

"Sure, if you want her to move out and never speak to you again. Now, coffee."


	15. Chapter 15

It was almost three when Sarah finally crawled into bed, curling in behind Peter. He rolled over, still half-asleep, and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"...'s late," he muttered.

"We got talking, sorry."

"Swapping family stories?"

"Something like that. Go back to sleep."

Peter was snoring softly within minutes, but Sarah's mind was still racing. Rose and Mickey had gone to bed hours ago, but they'd stayed up talking. He'd told her about the Time War, things she knew instinctively he'd not told Rose yet. The magnitude of it all had scared her, but she couldn't help react when he'd said that the Daleks were gone. She wanted to tell him, to warn him that in just a few years... But she couldn't. She couldn't say anything that would change things like that.

So they'd talked, swapped stories. He'd told her about his travels since he'd left her in Aberdeen (for which she'd made him feel suitably guilty) and she'd answered his questions about Peter and the life she had built for herself. Eventually she'd noticed the time and while he may not need sleep, she certainly did.

Tomorrow was going to be a big day.

* * *

"Cup of tea?" he offered, stepping back.

She knew this TARDIS but she wasn't supposed to so she took her time, looking around. Of course this time he didn't ask her to come with them, of course she wouldn't be able to. She had an eighteenth birthday party to plan! So she wished them luck, convinced the Doctor to take Mickey along, and then walked out into the sunshine. She knew that if all went as before then she would see him again, but she still asked him to say goodbye.

"Goodbye. My Sarah Jane."

As he picked her up, lifting her from the ground as if she were nothing, she clung to him. All those years of worry about what would happen here, on these days which changed her life, was seemingly for nothing. Whatever had happened it seemed the Doctor was unaware of it. That thought should disturb her; how can time change and a Time Lord not be aware of it?

Her feet hit the ground and the thought disappeared, replaced by wondering as to whether, when he left, K9 would be there. Whether she would go home and find the watch and the lipstick with a hand scrawled note (at his age you think he would have learnt some skills) saying 'Might come in handy!' and that would be the start of something.

Something she didn't know if she could keep from Peter.

As the TARDIS faded away, she grinned to see the daft metal dog still there. Everything was getting back to normal.

* * *

  
"Where's Nicole?" Sarah asked as she walked into the kitchen.

"Out... somewhere," Peter said, not looking up from the papers he was finishing.

"Can we talk?"

"Sounds ominous," he said, lifting his eyes to meet hers.

"It is."

Behind her K9 wheeled into view.

"You got him fixed?" Peter asked.

"Not quite," Sarah said, slipping into the seat across from him. "There's something I haven't told you."

"About what?"

"About... John. He's not called John for a start, he's called the Doctor."

"Doctor Who?" he asked, oblivious to the old joke.

"Just the Doctor. I travelled with him once."

"When?"

"Years ago."

"But..." Peter began then he stopped. "This is part of that 'older than he looks' thing, isn't it?"

"Something like that."

"I think you'd better start from the beginning," he said, putting down his pen and folding his arms.

"You know I told you about UNIT? Well that first time I got in..."

"When you were posing as your aunt?"

Sarah nodded. "Well, that was when I met the Doctor. His travels... they're in space. And time."

Peter said nothing while she talked, describing her time and travels to other worlds, her encounters with various species, her adventures and how it all came crashing to an end that day in Aberdeen.

"Well?" she ventured when she finished. "It's not like you to be so quiet."

"It's not every day you find out that your wife has been lying to you for your entire life together."

"It's not like that," Sarah protested.

"No? So you've not been keeping secrets?"

"I had to."

"Not from me," he said, pushing back his chair and getting to his feet . "You have never _had_ to keep anything from me, you chose to."

"Peter..."

"The biggest part of your life and you didn't think you could share that with me? What? You thought I wouldn't understand? That I'd think you were insane?"

"No..."

"I..." He faltered, trying to work out what to say next. "I need some air." When Sarah began to get to her feet he added, "Alone."

"Peter," she called after him, "I love you. Always have."

He didn't respond, just grabbed his coat and pulled the door shut on his way out.

"I did this for you," she whispered, sinking back onto the chair.

_Mistress,_ K9 whirred, _I do not understand._

"Long story," she said, gently rubbing his nose with her finger.

_I have no time constraints._

* * *

  
Nicole said nothing over dinner, but she knew something was up. Her mother was far too quiet for one, and she didn't complain when her not-quite eighteen year old daughter said she was going out to a gig. Normally this would have earned her the Dalton Stare which she would have returned before the traditional mother-daughter battle of wills.

Instead she watched her mother push her food around her plate. Oh she claimed that she wasn't feeling well, but given her dad wasn't in and he was supposed to be working from home, Nicole reasoned that something was amiss.

This worried her a little. Her parents had always been that embarrassing couple who still held hands in public, and they'd even been known to put their arms around each other. She'd been mortified when they'd done that in front of her friends at one of her school plays. She was one of a minority with both biological parents still married and it had been a source of much playful teasing when she was growing up.

But at the same time it was wonderfully reassuring. To have both parents around when she needed them (and even when she didn't) and family meals most nights. She'd found her love of cooking and creation when she helped them prepare dinners, taking on more responsibility from weighing ingredients to preparing veg, through to skilfully slicing away the undesired parts of the meat before seasoning.

"Where's Dad?" she asked.

Sarah shrugged. "Out."

"I figured that part. Where?"

"Not sure. Something to do with work."

"You're a rotten liar, Mum."

"What?"

"You've barely touched your food, and I know Dad's not at work." Nicole waved her fork in the direction of the bag by the front door. "So... where is he?"

"I don't know," Sarah admitted.

"You two OK?"

"What? Oh, of course we are."

Nicole still wasn't convinced, but she nodded anyway. "Just checking."

"I'm sure he's fine. Just..."

She was cut off by the front door opening and Sarah froze. He didn't say anything in greeting and Nicole swore that the temperature in the house dropped a few degrees.

"Right," she said, "I'm off."

"Where?" Sarah asked.

"The gig?"

"What gig?"

"Oh Mum," Nicole laughed. She got up and kissed the top of her mother's head. "It'll be fine."

Sarah suspected Nicole wasn't talking about her impending night out, but she smiled anyway. "Have fun, little one."

"Always do."

It took Sarah a minute to realise that for the first time since her eighth birthday Nicole hadn't complained about her nickname; things must be bad.

Peter walked into the kitchen, dropping the evening paper on the table. "Didn't take long."

Sarah glanced down at her story about the 'explosion' at Defry Vale that claimed the life of "dedicated head teacher Mr Finch".

"How much of that is true?" he asked.

"Peter..."

"He was alien, right?"

Sarah nodded.

"And they're out there? All the time?"

"Yeah," she said hesitantly. "Peter..."

"And you've told me everything?"

Sarah got to her feet and walked over to him. "Everything," she lied, telling herself it was a white lie. He didn't need to know about her little time jump.

"Promise me that's everything."

"I promise," she said, allowing herself to hope. "I love you."

"And I love you," he said, "that was never the issue. The issue was that... I felt like I didn't know who I was in love with. If that makes any sense. I thought I knew you, Sarah, understood you. Then I find out you have this whole other life that... that I can't touch. I can't understand it, I can't share it with you."

"And that's what's bothering you?" she asked, the pieces falling into place.

"Among other things."

"Like what?"

"Sarah..."

"If we're going to fix this then I need to know."

"Fix what?"

"This. Us."  
"We need fixing?"

"Peter, you _left_. You walked away from me."

"I know," he sighed, running his hands down her arms and entwining their fingers. "I'm sorry."

"Me too. I just wanted to protect you, you and Nicole. There's enough going on in this world without adding... Daleks and Slitheen..."

"What and what?" Peter asked, his eyes widening.

"You don't want to know," she smiled, knowing that he would find out soon enough. "It's not that I don't want to share it with you..."

"But I can't understand it, can I? Not really."

"I wish..."

"Me too," he smiled. "You going to see him again? The Doctor?"

Sarah forced herself to shrug, knowing that it was very likely.

"Maybe one day then?"

"Maybe," she smiled. "I love you. More than you will ever realise."

"I think I have a good idea," he grinned, kissing her gently.


	16. Chapter 16

Peter couldn't help but laugh at the two of them, stood side by side, staring out of the window.

"Just go and say hi," he said, coming over to join them.

"We can't do that," Nicole said, cupping her mug of tea. "That would be rude."  
"And this isn't?" he asked.

"Of course not," Sarah said. "This is... taking an interest in the new neighbours."

"Oh god, I am so glad I moved out!" Nicole squealed, and Sarah didn't have to look to see who her daughter had seen. "Mum, I am so, so sorry!"

Peter was now engrossed in the new neighbours; parents and teenage daughter. Sarah wasn't really listening to their eager discussions about what they might be like, all she could hear was the blood rushing in her ears.

Today. Today was the day it all started.

She'd tried to work out what she was going to tell him, planned to lay some groundwork but she'd been unable to think of anything she could say. Peter was only just OK with her hunting down aliens in her spare time, he'd even helped out on occasion.

That had been an interesting day, and he'd managed to make a quip about a husband and wife, alien fighting duo. 'There should be a TV series,' he'd said, making her think that it all could work out.

The only issue was Nicole. Peter had insisted that their daughter stay out of this life. She had just finished her first year of her University course in event management. She'd agreed to go – almost to placate her parents – but she'd loved it and had been able to use her course and contacts to start up her own business. Already she'd begun catering; starting off with friends but expanding through word of mouth. For her last birthday her father had completed the paperwork to register "Dalton Dishes" as a legitimate company, her mother had created a portfolio and advertising material.

Nicole had been over the moon, and since then she'd been unstoppable.

"Come on," Peter said, grabbing his wife's hand and dragging her back to the present. "Let's go be neighbourly."

"Oh no way!" Nicole exclaimed as she watched Chrissie. "She's checking out the removal guy! I'd watch myself if I were you, Dad."

Sarah let Peter drag her out of the house and tried not to grab Maria into a hug when they were 'introduced'. At least this time she was much more sociable.

* * *

  
That night, when she was with the Star Poet, she knew she was being watched. Maria would have snuck into her garden, having been woken by the light and attracted by the song, but she couldn't say anything.

After the poet had gone and Sarah had checked that Maria wasn't still hanging around, she went back into the house. Peter had made her a cup of tea and handed it over as she put the communicator on the table.

"Everything OK?" he asked.

"Fine," she replied.

"You look... distracted."

"Yeah."

"Let me guess. Bubble Shock."

"I'm telling you, there is something going on there."

"Sarah..."

"Journalist's hunch."

"Well, my lawyer's hunches are telling me that my wife is going to get herself into trouble. Just... call if you need me."

"I always need you," she smiled, putting down her tea and slipping her arms around his waist. "But I do need your opinion."

"What on?" he asked, kissing her nose.

"I have... a lead. And I know if I follow the lead then I'll get a good story. Brilliant story. But if I follow it then I am going to put some people in danger."

"What kind of danger? You going to be up for liability?"

Sarah shrugged. "Not like that. Just... You want to keep Nicole out of all of this, but realistically how long can we...?"

"As long as we can," he said quickly. "She's got enough going on, what with Uni and the business... She's working far too hard and we are not spoiling any of that."

"It's not that though, is it?" she said. "As soon as I brought K9 home; the lipstick, the watch... She wasn't at Uni then. She wasn't..."

"Sarah!"

"You don't think I want to protect her too?" Sarah asked, remembering the day Nicole was born. That overwhelming desire to keep her safe and away from anything and everything that could hurt her. "But we can't, can we? Not all the time."

"Doesn't mean we shouldn't try," he said with conviction.

She smiled and said nothing more on the matter. "It's late. We should get to bed." _Big day tomorrow_, she added silently.

* * *

  
Sarah waited until she saw Maria and Kelsey come out of the house before going to post the letter. Maria waved to her and Alan came over to talk to her. Thanks to Peter's forced introduction the day before she found she now had to make small talk to fill the gap.

"So, it's just you two?" Alan asked.

"Our daughter's just gone off to Uni," Sarah said, making sure she didn't mention Nicole was an only child. "It's in the City, but she wanted to move out, get the full experience. Comes home every weekend to do her laundry and have a roast dinner!"

"So full experience then," Alan laughed.

"See you then!" Maria called.

Alan turned around. "Where are you going again?"

"Bubble Shock factory."

And so it began.

* * *

  
Sarah managed to bite her tongue during the 'interview' with Mrs Wormwood. Her knowledge of who this woman really was burned in her mind, and she knew that Luke, no, the _Archetype_ was in the building somewhere. In moments he would be activated, born running. Maria was here too, on a tour with Kelsey who was going to get herself into her own trouble. She had to be patient, to let it play out. She'd waited almost thirty years for this, kept herself busy. She couldn't ruin it all now, no matter how much she wanted to see Luke again.

"Go ahead and print your story by all means, but consider your career. Are you really going to expose this as some kind of... alien plot? You'll be considered insane."  
"I don't care what people think of me," Sarah retorted. "Never have. Just want to find the truth."

"At such a cost. I take it, Miss Smith, you're single?"

First time, yes. This time, no. But she still replied, "Yes, I am."

"No children?"

"No."

"Such a wasted life."

A lie this time, but one Sarah felt compelled to tell. She couldn't put Nicole and Peter in the firing line just yet.

* * *

As she ran through the factory, the alarm ringing in her ears, her pulse quickened for reasons other than worry or physical exertion. Pushing open the door to the toilet cubicle she found them. Maria – and her Luke.

The first time she'd held Nicole she had been overwhelmed by how much she loved this tiny new life that she didn't even know. As the days had gone on and she spent time with her newborn daughter, her thoughts had drifted to Luke. She tried to remember how she'd felt about him, tried to line it up alongside these new feelings to see if she loved her biological child more.

Seeing Luke (even if he wasn't _Luke_ yet) felt the same.

"Who's he?" she forced herself to say, while every part of her screamed _he is my son_.

* * *

  
She sent Maria home, desperate for time alone with Luke. In her desire she was somewhat harsh in her treatment, but history taught her that the young woman would forgive her. As Maria ran home she brought Luke inside.

"Peter?" she called out.

"Who's Peter?" Luke asked.

"He's my husband," she explained.

"Husband?"

"We're married. Husband and wife."

"He is not here?"

"Must be at work."

"Work?"

"Yes, he's a lawyer."

Luke nodded, but she knew he didn't understand. Not yet. Sarah brought him into the living room and went to make him something to eat and drink (not that he'd know which was which). While she waited for the kettle to boil she planted her hands on the surface, taking deep breaths. Whatever happened, however she did it, she was adopting Luke. Now that he was here she was not letting him go. She'd survived until now by telling herself that she'd see him again in enough time.

Now he was here, in her living room. She knew how this would play out, how it had played out. This time she had Peter and Nicole to think about, and no matter how much she loved Luke she realise that she had to put her family first. If Peter refused to adopt Luke, to be part of that lie, then she couldn't overrule him. She just couldn't.

Which left one option – Peter would have to say yes.


	17. Chapter 17

"Can I live here with you?" the Archetype asked.

Sarah hesitated. "I don't know," she admitted. "It's not up to just me."

"Peter?"

"And Nicole. My daughter."

"Daughter?" he asked.

Sarah couldn't help but smile. "Yes. My daughter."

"Yours and Peter's? A family unit."

"Yeah."

"And I can't be a part of that?"

"I'd have to ask."

"When?"

Sarah intended to say that she didn't know, but she heard the key turn in the lock and her heart almost stopped. "Stay here, and don't say anything," she told not-yet-Luke.

Walking into the hallway, she attempted to smile at Peter but he saw through her in a second.

"What is it?" he asked.

* * *

"No."

"Peter..."

"You cannot be serious?"

"He has no one else!"

"And that means we have to take him in?" Peter asked. "Sarah, think about it logically. How on earth can we adopt him?"

"Mr Smith..."

Peter sighed, rolling his eyes at the mention of the computer in the attic. He'd gone away on business, come back and his wife had done some interesting installation work. Nicole had only just moved out for University and it seemed like luck that she'd not found out so far.

"Please, Peter," Sarah said, dropping her voice. "He has no one."

"I know," he said, pulling her into his arms. "And I understand, love, I do. But think about it. How can we explain it to Nicole? Adoption takes ages, months... I'm serious, Sarah. She is _not_ getting involved in any of this. She is going to have a normal life and _nothing_ is going to get in the way of that."

"This doesn't have to..."

"Sarah, think about this with your head for just one second, please," he begged. "Right now you're thinking with your heart, and it's one of the reasons I love you so much... but we can't do this. We can't turn our house into some... refuge for alien waifs and strays."

"He's not alien," Sarah pointed out. "He's human."

"He's also only a few hours' old yet looks, what? Thirteen?"

"Fourteen," she corrected. "And that's hardly his fault. You want to punish him because aliens chose to grow him?"

"I am not punishing him..."

"He wants to stay."

"He doesn't know what he wants!" Peter exclaimed. "Love, if we could do this..."

"We can, I know we can."

"How do you know?" he challenged. "You can't know how things will play out, you can't know how Nicole will react. You don't even know if he is who he says, who he _thinks_ he is."

"He's just a kid."

"So he says," Peter said. "Love, he could be programmed to do anything and he wouldn't be aware of it."

"I trust him."

"And that's fine, love," he said, kissing her forehead, "but I have to think about protecting my family. You and Nicole? You're my priority, always will be."

"Do me a favour," she asked, "and think about it?"

He sighed, looking into her eyes. "No promises."

"Not asking for them."

"OK, I'll think about it," he agreed, just as the banging on the door began.

* * *

Peter couldn't help but be slightly impressed and proud of his wife as she fought back against the Bane that had previously chased them up the stairs. As Sarah and Maria checked out the black stain on the carpet (great, another replacement job) he stood next to the boy that she wanted them to look after. He seemed harmless enough, although slightly weird. She'd explained that he was still learning and he realised that he was comparing this boy to Nicole when she was his age.

Fourteen, full of hormones and temper tantrums, work and friends and running about. This boy was only hours old and he remembered his daughter at that age. Asleep in his arms, that perfect 'o' of her mouth, and suddenly he realised why Sarah had asked him what she did.

"Oh my flippin' heck!"

"No, don't go up there!" Sarah exclaimed, pulling him out of his focus on the boy.

It was ironic, these kids poking around in the one place he wanted to keep Nicole out of. When Sarah had done out the attic as her "base" they'd told Nicole that it was her office, and she filled it with junk and papers and books and things that would never have held their daughter's interest. So far it had worked, but Peter could feel it start to slip away from him.

"It's just you though, you two? On your own?" Maria asked. "Or is your daughter...?"

"No," Peter said quickly. "Nicole knows nothing about this, and it stays that way, you understand?"

"He wants to protect her," Sarah explained. "Truth be told he wants to protect me."

"But your wife can look after herself," the Archetype said. "She has already proven that."

"Doesn't stop me worrying," Peter told him with a smile.

"I don't understand."

Peter couldn't help but laugh. "Neither do I sometimes."

Sarah watched the two most important men in her life, and she smiled to herself.

"But how'd you get started?" Maria asked.

No matter how many times Sarah talked about the Doctor, Peter was still enthralled. The way her voice got when she talked about the things that she did, the things that she saw? He had grown to envy her in some ways.

"...back to a normal life. Electric bills, burst pipes, bus tickets... and rain," she finished, shooting a glance at Peter. That final comment was for him; their first kiss had been after they were caught in a rain storm. They'd missed the bus and ran for shelter, finding it in a shop doorway. Laughing and out of breath, he'd put his arm around her when he'd noticed she was shivering. Unable to stop herself she'd pushed up onto the balls of her feet and kissed him.

He smiled back at her; he was remembering the same night.

"She's completely looped the loop," Kelsey said.

"That's what I thought when she first told me," Peter chimed in. "Aliens and time travel? Sounds like something from science fiction."

"But then I met him again, the Doctor," Sarah continued. "We'd both changed, but it was funny because we were still both the same. I learnt that I could carry on here on Earth, doing what we always did. And that's when I started all this."

"And where do you fit in?" the Archetype asked Peter.

"I..." he began, throwing a look over at his wife. "I support her."

"You help?"

"If I can. This is more her thing than mine, to be honest I don't understand most of it. But it makes her happy and... And that is something that I want more than anything else in this world."

Sarah held his eyes and saw the smile in them. She knew he was softening towards the idea but he was not yet convinced.

"And the Bubble Shock factory? That's run by aliens?"

Peter couldn't help but think how calmly Maria was taking all this in, and she was a lot younger than Nicole. While he dreaded to think what Alan would say about all of this, he found himself thinking about how their own daughter would take the news that her mother's primary job these days was more about hunting aliens than stories.

"I saw a muffin in a suit," Kelsey covered, "like in the movies, it's pretend?"

Suddenly Peter saw himself in this brash young girl. He'd done the same thing when Sarah had told him about UNIT. For years he'd told himself they were all about watching the skies and report writing when, deep down, he _knew_ that wasn't the case. On their first wedding anniversary they'd had a dinner party; the Brig, Liz, Harry and his wife had spent it laughing about various creatures and situations and he'd known that it wasn't just make-believe.

But he'd clung to the lie because it made the world seem safer somehow, he felt like he had control. Then Sarah had gone to Defry Vale and he'd had the carpet pulled out from under him.

Ironically now he felt safer than he did before. At least now he knew what was out there, what he could expect. So when that beeping began and Sarah jumped to her feet, he knew the smile that would be on her face before it came, he could hear the warmth in her voice before she opened her mouth, and he knew that while their "daft, little, metal dog" was out there, saving Earth on a daily basis, when he was gone she would feel the same sadness she felt when she sent him out there in the first place.

He now understood that saving the world came at a high personal cost on occasion, and she never let it break her.

* * *

The Archetype really did learn quickly, and Peter was amazed at how well he took on instructions. Almost absent-mindedly he wondered how this young boy would be in his office; if he really did learn at this speed then he'd know more of the law by the end of the month than Peter could ever hope to know in his lifetime.

"Is this right?" the Archetype asked, holding out the mug of tea intended for Sarah.

"Looks perfect to me... I'm sorry, I don't know what to call you."

"I do not have a name."

"You must do."

"They did not name me."

"Well I can't keep calling you... what was it? Archetype?"

"How do humans get names?"

"Their parents choose one for them."

"But what if you don't like it?"

"Well, I guess you're kinda stuck with it."

"You have a child?"

Peter nodded. "Nicole."

"And you chose her name?"

"I did, yes. Sarah and I fought over it for months though."

"Months?"

"When she was pregnant. We didn't know if it was a boy or girl so we were coming up with names for both."

"How can you not know if your child is male or female?"

Peter nearly dropped the mug he was holding. Sarah had done "the talk" with Nicole, and even then the basics of biology was known to her. How on earth was he going to explain how pregnancy worked? That would lead to more questions and Peter could sense that this boy was not going to give up.

"I'll explain it all later," he decided on. "Let's get this tea up there before it gets cold."

* * *

They were talking about the communicator Sarah had got last night when they came up the stairs. Peter put Sarah's drink in front of her, kissing the top of her head as he did so. Maria handed Luke the communicator and the boy began to study it.

"He knows nothing about the world, everything's new to him. I think he's some kind of experiment, like they created him."

"He's their child," Maria said.

Sarah could feel Peter flinch behind her. This was what he was afraid of. Yes, outwardly human, with no knowledge or understanding of this world. But flick a switch and who knows what he'd be.

"He's still human," Sarah said pointedly to them both, getting to her feet.

* * *

With Kelsey chasing them, bottle in her hand, Peter couldn't help but be swept up in the evacuation. It seemed to be playing out as before, only this time he came with them to the factory; kids in the back.

Gripping the steering wheel she ran over the future events in her mind, trying to see how things might change with her husband in tow. If nothing else then he would see how amazing not-yet-Luke could be.

* * *

Explosions were a new thing to Peter. He'd seen a number of things he'd never expected to, but an entire alien factory going skyward like it was a Bond movie was definitely a new thing.

"Their control is gone," the Archetype said, "and I'm free. This is good?"

The first hug lasted a second, but Peter couldn't help but see it. The second one was longer, the four of them holding on to each other.

* * *

"And who's this?" Alan asked, indicating the boy stood between Sarah and Peter.

"This..." Sarah began, trying to work out if she could say it or not. "...is..."

"This is our son," Peter said for them. "Our adopted son."

As their new son moved forward to shake Alan's hand, Sarah glanced sideways at Peter. He was looking at her, a small smile on his face.

"And what's your name?" Alan asked.

"I don't have one."

"Oh sorry, it's an old family joke," Sarah said quickly, pulling him back. "Family names, professional names... He's called..."

Before she could say anything in came Chrissie, loud and brash as always.

"This woman is rude," almost-Luke said.

"That's my boy," Peter muttered quietly under his breath as they turned and left.


	18. Chapter 18

Nicole looked from one parent to the other and sighed. "You're insane. You're insane, or this is a wind up. And it's not April."

"No wind up," Sarah said.

"You're adopting this kid? How? I mean, where are his parents?"

Sarah moved to sit beside her daughter on the sofa, and launched into the rehearsed story. "Luke's an orphan. He's been living in a children's home for the last few years. I met him when I did a story on the place a few months ago. He was quiet, withdrawn, but somehow I got through to him."

"Your mother's bonded," Peter jumped in, cutting out a lot of the story. "She's been back a couple of times and she's fallen for him. So she wants to adopt."

"You always wanted more kids," Nicole sighed. "So... when do I get to meet this new brother of mine?"

"Are you OK with this?" Peter asked, sensing the hesitation.

"I won't know until I meet him, will I?"

"There's something you should know," Sarah prepped. "Luke's... he's not like a normal kid. He's... a bit different."

"Different how?"

"Maybe it's best you see for yourself," Peter said, leaving to collect Luke from the spare room they were turning into his bedroom.

"Mum, are you sure about this?" Nicole asked. "I know you and Dad... how hard it was with me and the miscarriages, but I thought you were happy."

"I am happy, little one," Sarah said, running her hand through her daughter's hair. "Having Luke as part of my life, part of our family, it's not filling any gap I promise."

Nicole nodded, her fears slightly placated. She looked up when her father returned, followed by a young boy who looked almost terrified.

"Hi, I'm Nicole," she said, getting to her feet. "Only don't call me Nicole."

"But it's your name," Luke said, confused.

"I mean, call me Nic. Or Nikki. I hate Nicole."

"But it's the name your parents chose."

"Yeah, and if I'd been able to have a say I would have," she laughed.

"I had a say in my name," Luke said.

"What?"

"Luke Dalton. That's my name."

"Well..." Nicole said. "Welcome to the family."

Behind her, Sarah breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

The two Dalton kids spent the next week getting to know each other. Luke was under strict instructions not to mention anything about aliens or the computer or the Doctor. His back-story was easy; he remembered everything so once they'd told him he knew it all, chapter and verse. It was the new parents who struggled.

Luke's first day of school was looming, and Sarah kept changing her mind as to whether she should let him go or not. The Slitheen would be crawling over that school and she wanted to protect him, even if she knew that he would be OK. In the end she reminded herself that she'd made a promise to not change that much, and so even though it went against every motherly fibre of her body, he was going to school. One thing she could change though was the embarrassment of being dropped off and kissed goodbye by his mother.

Maria offered to walk him to school, and so she knocked on the door of 13 Bannerman Road early that Monday morning.

"Have a good day," Sarah called out, biting her tongue to stop herself from warning them.

"First day?" Nicole said as she climbed out of her car. "I remember that."

"Is this your new car?" Luke asked, looking at the sleek, soft top vehicle.

"Picked it up this morning," she grinned. "My first car. Put my Great Aunt's trust fund to some use." Shooting a look at her mother standing in the doorway she added, "Given Mum won't let me near her precious green shoe box."

"Just go!" Sarah laughed.

"Goodbye... Mum," Luke said.

The name made her heart skip a beat, but she glanced at Nicole who seemed shocked by this.

"Oh, I don't think so," she said quickly. "Sarah Jane, that's just fine."

Nicole was placated, but wasn't entirely happy with it all. After her mother had closed the door she turned to the kids. "Want a lift?"

"But we were going to walk," Luke said.

"And pass turning up to our new school in this?" Maria said. "Can we have the roof down?"

"Of course," Nicole grinned. "If you're going to be representing the Dalton family then I can't have you being deemed uncool."

"Is that good or bad?" Luke asked as his sister put the roof down.

"That's bad," Maria said, climbing into the back seat. "At least some people think it is."

"What do you think?" Luke asked, sitting in the passenger seat and pulling his belt on.

"Me?" Nicole asked. "I never cared much when I was at school. Did my own thing and was happy with that." She turned the car over, smiling at its gentle purr. "Kids today are much worse though."

* * *

"He called me mum," Sarah told Peter when she went back into the house.

"OK."

"I think he was doing it because he felt he had to."

"So what did you say?"

"Told him to call me Sarah Jane." She sank onto one of the kitchen chairs and began picking at an imaginary spot on the table.

"And how do you feel about that?"

"We are his parents, but..." She just hoped that he would decide to ignore her as he'd done before, that he would call her mum. But it had to be his choice. "I don't think Nicole was too happy about it."

"Might just be too soon," he suggested. "It's only been a week."

"Hope so. I mean, he doesn't _have_ to call us mum and dad, it's not as if we are his parents..."

"Be nice though, wouldn't it?" Peter said.

"So you're convinced then?"

"OK, I'm convinced," he laughed. "You were right."

Sarah shrugged. "I usually am."

"He's amazing. The other day he read some papers on a case I've been working on for months, and he spotted a loophole that the entire team had missed. I'm thinking about putting him on retainer!"

"Peter Dalton, you will do no such thing. He is going to have a normal life, OK?"

"With no history, an alien computer in the attic, and a mother who fights aliens in her spare time?"

Sarah smiled at him. "You said mother."

"Well, you are."

"Not adoptive mother, not... guardian."

"Do you think of yourself as any of those?"

"...No."

"Exactly." He kissed the top of her head. "I'll see you tonight. Have a good day."

"You too."

* * *

Nicole dropped them off outside the school gates, and predictably a number of the kids were interested in who was being delivered in a "cool car".

"Can you give us a lift all the time?" Maria asked as the three of them climbed out.

"I can hear Mum now," Nicole sighed. "She'd be 'just think of the environment'!"

"We really could have walked the distance," Luke said, "it wouldn't have taken long."

"Oh my poor, naïve little brother," she laughed. "First impressions count, and as Mum often says, they're invariably right."

"So what was your first impression of me?" he asked.

Nicole smiled. "That you were slightly weird, but in a good way, and that Mum and Dad really cared about you."

"Sarah Jane is nice."

"Sarah Jane?" Maria asked.

Luke shrugged. "She told me to call her that."

Nicole flashed a glance at Maria. "Doesn't sound like Mum."

"It's what she wants to be called."

"And what do you want to call her?" Maria asked.

"She's my mum. And Peter's my dad. It makes sense to call them that."

"I'll have a word with them," Nicole said. As she turned to leave she caught sight of the new extension. "That's flash. Never had anything like that in my day."

"It was built during the holidays, there was an article about it in the paper," Luke said.

"Wonder what's inside it?" Maria asked, grabbing Luke by the arm and heading over towards the main school building.

Nicole hesitated before getting into her car, and when she did she couldn't help but look at the new block. There was something about it that made her skin crawl but she couldn't quite place why or how. Shrugging it off as just jealousy she turned the key in the ignition and drive off, leaving a group of school kids staring after her.

* * *

Nicole hung up the phone and gave a small squeal of delight. No matter how many jobs she got it always gave her a buzz of excitement to know that someone wanted her to come into their homes and cook dinner. This time it was an anniversary dinner; the wife wanted to surprise her husband that evening and was willing to pay extra for the late notice. She quickly made her shopping list and set off, putting the new school block to the back of her mind.

* * *

That evening in the attic, Sarah tried to reassure Luke that he would be fine despite his not-so-great first day. But she couldn't share his social mistake any more as she'd not kissed him goodbye, and she couldn't share his nerves as she was a mum before she met him.

"Everyone is nervous," she assured him. "Peter and I were nervous about adopting you."

"But you're already parents."

"Yes, but not adoptive ones. We've watched Nicole grow up, go off and do her own thing. You? We're learning as we go."

"Do I have to go to school?"

"I could take you out, teach you here – I considered it. But you, Luke Sm... Dalton," she corrected, "you are going to live a normal life. As normal a life as I can give you."

As he bemoaned being different from everyone else, she said nothing, knowing that one day he would settle down, be happy with who he was and his place in the world.

* * *

Nicole had just put the main dish in the oven when the power went. "Great," she muttered, grabbing her keys. She pushed the button for the little torchlight and stared in surprise as that failed too. "O...K..."

Picking up her mobile phone she noticed that was also dead, but suddenly it rebooted. She almost dismissed it until she noticed the small light shining out from her keys.

"Everything OK?" a voice called out from upstairs.

"Fine, Mrs Jeffrey," Nicole called back. "Must have been a power spike or something."

Even as she said it, she couldn't take her eyes off her torch and mobile phone. Something was very wrong with this indeed.

* * *

Thoroughly exhausted, Nicole decided she couldn't face the drive back to her digs in the City and so took the shorter route to her parents'. She'd intended to slip in quietly but the light was on in the front room so there was no need for stealth mode. Peering around the living room door, she smiled at her mother.

"You're up late."

"And you're in the wrong house," Sarah retorted.

"Thought I'd crash here tonight, if that's OK?"

"Of course it is, love."

"Did you get a power outage too?"

"Yeah, for a bit."

"Weird, wasn't it?"

"How?" Sarah asked.

"Well my mobile went off too, and this torch," Nicole said, holding up her car keys. "I mean, why would they go off with the power?"

"No idea. You working tonight then?" Sarah asked, deftly changing the subject.

"Yeah," Nic replied, walking into the room and collapsing on the nearest chair. "Weird couple. She said it was their wedding anniversary but the way he was acting you'd never have thought it. He kept farting too."

"Nicole!" Sarah laughed.

"Well he did. Really bad ones too. Nearly passed out when I was serving dessert. Plus..."

"What?"

"I know salad isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I'm used to people just saying 'no thank you', or better still, telling me before I prepare it. This guy? He freaked out. Properly freaked out."

"What was in it?" Sarah laughed.

"Nothing! Basic salad, vinaigrette dressing..."

"Good night though?"

"Yeah, good night." Nicole pushed herself to her feet and walked over to her mother. "Night," she said, kissing her on the cheek.

"Night, little one," Sarah replied.

Nicole was about to leave when she caught sight of the website open on the laptop. "Coldfire Constructions?"

"Research for a story. They're building schools around London."

"Isn't that Luke's school?" she asked, pointing at one name on the list. "If I'd known you were doing a story, I'd have asked the guy about it."

"What?"

"The husband from tonight, Mr Jeffrey. Teaches Science there."

"Sleep well, love," Sarah said, her mind starting to race.

* * *

Although it pained her to do so, Sarah made sure she continued as before. She sent Maria and Luke into the new building and she went to Coldfire Construction. She knew that it would all play out and they would be OK.

She knew what Luke, Clyde, Maria, and even the Slitheen would do and she knew how it would all end.

She didn't know what Nicole was going to do, which, when she thought about it later, she should have done. Peter had always said she was her mother's daughter.


	19. Chapter 19

Nicole slipped into the new technology block and baulked at the smell. The kids hadn't been kidding about it. She'd seen the plans on the kitchen table, wondered what was in the blank space and resolved to check it out for herself.

"Right. What would Mum do?" she asked herself, looking into the nearest classrooms. She wasn't sure what she was looking for but figured she'd know it when she saw it.

Her attention was caught by a burst of light from a nearby room, and she snuck over towards the door. As she looked through the window she clamped her hand over her mouth as she saw a... thing, pulling its skin off as if it were a suit. With a flash of recognition she knew it was Mr Jeffrey from last night, but the thought stopped as she saw Maria get out of her hiding place and run, the creature lumbering after her.

She had intended to follow Maria, to see if she could help, but after a few blind turns she soon lost them. Fumbling in her pocket for her mobile phone she cursed under her breath when she realised that she must have left it in the car.

Turning a corner she saw a door where there shouldn't have been one; according to the plans that was a wall – a wall sectioning off the blank space. She walked up to it, cautiously peering through into a scene from a Science Fiction movie.

"Come out, boy," she heard someone say. "Don't you want a closer look?"

With a start she realised the boy in question was Luke, his back pressed against the computer console. The man lunged for him and Luke began to run towards the door.

"Nic!" he called out, spotting his sister standing there.

"C'mon," she said, grabbing his hand, "we've got to help Maria."

"Maria?" he asked in confusion.

The four of them met in the foyer, but no matter how much they pulled on the door it wouldn't budge.

"This place is sealed," came a voice Nicole instinctively knew wasn't human. "Your fate is sealed right here, right now."

"This way," Maria said, taking off in a run.

Nicole followed her but it was only when Luke called out to them that she realised they'd been separated.

"We have to go back," Nicole said as they came to a stop in a corridor, panting hard. "And what are those things?"

"I don't know, maybe Sarah Jane can tell us," Maria said without thinking.

"Why would Mum know?" Nicole asked.

"She... she does this sort of thing."

"Yeah right." But there was something on the young girl's face that made Nicole question her belief.

"Come on," Maria said and they took off again.

Eventually they looped around, finding their way back to the foyer. As they banged on the door Sarah used her lipstick to open the door and the four of them raced out into fresh air. Sarah shut the door behind them and turned to face the four of them.

"What are you doing here?" she asked Nicole.

Nicole said nothing, she just turned on her heel and ran towards her car.

"Nic!" Sarah called out after her.

"Would someone like to fill me in on what's going on?" Clyde asked.

"Just... get in the car," Sarah said, glancing back at the door where the two Slitheen were pounding against the glass.

The three kids climbed inside, and she drove off, hoping that Nicole would be at the house when she got back.

* * *

Sarah's heart sank when Nicole's car wasn't in the driveway. Luke followed her into the house where she called for Peter, only to confirm that he wasn't home either.

"Why was Nicole there?" she asked, rounding on Luke.

"I don't know."

"How much did she see?"

"You mean, did she see the big green aliens?" he asked. "I can't see how she wouldn't."

"Great," Sarah muttered. "Peter's going to kill me."

This confused Luke. "But he loves you."

Sarah managed to smile and ran her hand down Luke's arm. "I don't mean literally, don't worry. Come on," she said, leading the way up to the attic.

* * *

Nicole had taken the long way back, but she knew she'd have to face up to her mother sooner rather than later, and she always preferred sooner. The car was already here, the door unlocked. Letting herself in, Nicole heard voices coming from upstairs. Her mother sounded upset, proclaiming something about it being like Clapham Junction. As she climbed the last set of steps she heard Luke say that Mr Smith would be able to help.

"Who's that? Your dad?" someone said.

Nicole moved into the doorframe just as Sarah declared, "Mr Smith, I need you."

The fireplace wall pulled apart, and with the heralding of trumpets the machine slid into view.

_Good afternoon, Sarah Jane_, it intoned.

"Oh this... Is that a computer?" the boy asked.

_Who's that?_ the computer asked.

"Nobody," Sarah replied.

_But that is Nicole, yes?_

Sarah quickly turned around to see her daughter supporting herself on the doorframe. "Nic..." she began, but Nicole wasn't looking at her.

"How do you know me?" Nicole asked Mr Smith.

_Your mother has told me all about you. Your parents requested that I not reveal myself when you are present._

"My parents?" Nicole asked, realising that this was more than just her mum and some glowing lipstick. "How long have you been in our attic?"

The machine said nothing.

"Mr Smith?"

_I have been instructed by Sarah Jane not to give you any information._

"Fine, then I'll ask Sarah Jane directly," Nicole said, folding her arms and staring at her mother. "How long?"

"I'll explain everything later, Nic," Sarah said, "but right now we need to deal with this."

Nicole said nothing as she watched her mother and adoptive brother relate to the computer and discuss these... Slitheen? ...as if they were talking about their neighbours.

"I told the Slitheen how to destroy the world," Luke realised.

"Don't worry about it, Luke. I'm sure Mum's used to destroying things," Nicole spat.

"You three, stay here," Sarah ordered. "Don't touch a thing. Nicole..."

Nicole went down the first set of stairs and waited for Sarah on the landing.

"Your father wanted to protect you..." she began.

"But not Luke? It's OK for the son but not the daughter? Never had Dad down as the sexist type."

"It's different for Luke."

"How?"

"He... already knew about aliens, about what I do."

"How? And what do you do?"

"I... fight creatures like the Slitheen. Aliens from outer space. I help them if they need it and I stop them if they mean us harm."

"How long?"

"...A while."

"And Luke?"

"He... was part of an invasion plot by the Bane."

"He's _alien_?" Nicole almost squealed.

"He's human, but he was grown by them."

"I was activated in the Bubble Shock factory," Luke explained, coming to the doorway.

"That was less than two weeks ago," Nicole pointed out. "You're fourteen."

"I look fourteen," he corrected.

"I can't deal with this," Nicole said, backing away.

"Nic, please..."

In her haste to get away, Nicole mis-stepped on the stairs, and would have gone tumbling down them if Luke hadn't grabbed her arm. The look of worry and panic on Sarah's face was real, and Nicole allowed her to grab her into a hug.

"I'm fine," she muttered into her mother's shoulder, but in reality she wasn't. How had he been so _fast_?

"I have better reflexes," Luke explained without either of them having to ask the question.

"Thank you," Sarah breathed, touching him gently on the arm before running the other hand down her daughter's face.

"So you do this then?" Nicole asked quietly. "Save the world?"

Sarah nodded.

"I think the world needs saving now."

She nodded again.

"Come on then."

Without saying anything else, Nicole trudged back up to the attic, followed by a confused but happy Sarah.

* * *

Suddenly Nicole understood her mother a lot better, watching her figure out the Slitheen's plot. Yes, she was a capable journalist, and when she stumbled across a story there was this light behind her eyes. But now there was an energy about her, something Nicole recognised from herself whenever she got a new catering job.

"The day I was born I helped to save the world," Luke said, "and now I've helped to destroy it."

"What?" Nicole asked, then shook her head. "Tell me later, yeah?"

As the world – and then the attic – went dark, she caught her mother's eye. This was not going well.

* * *

"No sonic lipstick, no Mr Smith, no Plan B," Sarah sighed.

"There's always a Plan B," Nicole said, "you taught me that. It's just sometimes you've not thought of it yet."

Sarah put an arm around her daughter's shoulders and pulled her in close. "I'm sorry."

"We'll sort it all out later," Nicole said. "Right now we need to figure this out."

"But how?" Luke said.

"Well... we can't stop them from here, can we?"

Sarah grinned and kissed Nicole's temple. "Time to go back to school then."


	20. Chapter 20

Clyde rattled on about his lunch, and Nicole grinned when he mentioned the salt and vinegar.

"Vinegar's really good for cleaning," she said. "It's acidic."

"It's acetic acid, that reacts with calcium," Luke declared.

As Sarah dug around for bottles, Luke and Nicole emptied the cupboards of everything that contained vinegar.

"I have never been so glad of your catering business in my life," Sarah declared, putting a few more jars on the table.

"Well, I am in the business of helping out," she grinned.

"Welcome to the other family business," Sarah quipped.

* * *

"I exploded the headmaster!" Maria laughed.

Nicole picked bits of green gloop from her hair and sighed. "I would have loved to have done that when I was at school."

"Come on," Clyde said, "we should go."

* * *

"He was a child, twelve years old," Sarah said as she walked ahead of them.

Nicole gestured that the others should hang back, and she quickly caught up with her mum, linking arms as they set a quick pace.

"It was the right thing to do," she said quietly.

"He was a child."

"I know."

"I'm not in the business of..."

"You saved us, Mum. Saved us, saved the world."

"That doesn't make it better."

"Must be hard, doing all this?"

Sarah glanced at Nicole. Her daughter was staring straight ahead, a thoughtful look on her face. "Yeah, it is."

"How long have you been keeping it from me?"

"A while."

"Dad wanted to protect me?"

Sarah nodded. "He's not going to be happy when he hears about today."

"Mum, I get where you're coming from, I do, but I'm not a teenager any more. Well, just about," she corrected. "I have my own life, and I make my own decisions."

She had to laugh. "You've been making your own decisions for years, little one."

"So I'm making another one."

"I don't want you involved in this," Sarah said quickly. "You said it yourself, you have your own life."

"And I'll go back to it. Only you don't have to hide this from me, OK? If something happens then it'd be nice to know."

"You're OK with all of this?"

"Don't know if OK is the word I'd use, but I'm... coming around to the idea shall we say. Explains a fair bit, mind."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Like that robot dog for one?"

Nicole turned her head to look at her mother, and they both burst out laughing.

* * *

After Sarah had explained about the Doctor, Clyde turned to Nicole. "And you had no idea?"

"None," she admitted. "Don't know if I should feel insulted or not."

"Not every day you find out that your mum's an alien hunter and your brother was a genetic experiment by one of them."

"No," Nicole laughed.

"I was right though, wasn't I? Luke should be calling her mum."

"He did," she pointed out. "At the school? He called out to her."

"Maybe you should have a word," Clyde said, putting his hand on her shoulder as he walked out of the living room.

Nicole went the other way to where Sarah, Maria and Luke were. They were discussing something about magnetic poles that she only just followed. The instructions were given to Mr Smith and Nicole suddenly had this feeling that when she read tomorrow's papers she'd want to burst out in fits of giggles.

Maria and Clyde left, leaving the Daltons behind.

"I nearly destroyed everything. I messed up," Luke said.

"I messed up," Sarah reassured him, "new block, the strangeness of it all? Of all people I should have seen it. Instead I send you and Maria right in there. And that was nearly the end of you."

Nicole reached out and touched Luke's arm to get his attention. When she had it, she nodded in the direction of Sarah, mouthing the word 'mum' to him. He nodded and smiled, causing Sarah to flick her gaze between the two of them.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," Luke replied. "I'm still here, always will be. Mum."

Sarah pulled him into a hug, holding out one arm for her daughter. She held onto her children and couldn't help but smile at how the pieces of her life were falling into place.

"Sarah? Luke?" Peter's voice came up the stairs. "You all OK? Today was insane, everyone at the office..."

He stopped as he walked into the attic, his eyes resting on Nicole.

So maybe all the pieces weren't _quite_ in place yet, Sarah realised.

* * *

Peter dropped the last of the bags onto the table and walked over to where his wife was by the sink. He slipped his arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck. "Feeling old?" he whispered.

"What?"

"Nicole. Twenty years old. No longer a teenager." He glanced at Sarah and knew she wasn't really listening. "When did we get so old?" he asked. "Assuming you think we're old and decrepit now?"

"Yeah," she muttered, absent mindedly.

"You OK, love?"

She turned in his arms and smiled at him. "Just... thinking."

"About?" he asked.

"Doesn't matter," she dismissed. "Come on, the kids are off to the skate park."

"And we have to go because...?" Peter laughed.

"Because Luke wants to try it out."

"Much as I love that kid, he has no balance."

"I know," she grinned.

"So you want to go and worry?"

"Mother's prerogative," she smiled. "Come on. It'll be fun."

* * *

As she turned around she knew she wouldn't see anyone there, but she also knew the Trickster was there. Waiting, watching. Tonight history would be changed and Maria would be there to put it back. For months she'd wondered if she should do something, warn Maria or Peter... But she also knew that as soon as the Trickster approached Andrea everything would change and no warning she could give them would work. So she just had to hope that things hadn't changed too much.

"You OK, love?" Peter asked.

"Fine," she covered, turning back 'round. "Somebody just walked over my grave."

* * *

Sarah gave Maria the tiny box that seemed so insignificant and yet would save the world – twice over. "He said give it to someone you trust," she said.

"But why me?" Maria asked. "Peter, Nicole, Luke...?"

"I got the impression that he meant someone outside of my family. And outside of them, you're the person who I trust the most."

"What's in it?" Maria asked.

That night she couldn't sleep, waiting for it to happen. When she was removed from the timeline Luke and Nicole wouldn't exist anymore, and Peter would go back to his life, the life he'd led in her previous timeline. He was asleep beside her, blissfully unaware that when he woke up he would have no wife, no children, no knowledge of what was out there.

Sarah could feel pins and needles in her hands and feet and she knew it was starting. As everything disappeared around her she just put her hope in Maria – there was nothing else she could do.


	21. Chapter 21

It seemed like an age before Maria joined her in this nowhere place. Sarah had no concept of time here and more than once she'd almost convinced herself that something had gone wrong and she would be lost forever; her children gone, Peter alone and destined for that fateful tumble in two years' time. So when she heard Maria's confused voice it was almost like music to her, and she grabbed the young girl into a hug.

"I thought I'd never see you again," Maria enthused.

"Oh it's so good to see you, I was all on my own." Sarah's head swam with questions but she had to stay on track.

"Where are we? Is this a different planet?"

"We're in limbo," she said, the uncertainty of before gone. "This is nowhere. We're lost."

As Sarah explained about Andrea to Maria, the situation couldn't help but seem familiar.

"It's not a parallel world, if only," she explained, a wry smile on her face. "It's our timeline and it's been changed." The Trickster had done what she'd done; taken a seemingly insignificant moment and just... flipped it.

When she was called she walked through the mist to face it, the Trickster.

"Sarah Jane Smith," it purred. "This is... interesting. I can see the time swirl around you, I can see the chaos that flows from you... This is our first meeting and yet you know me, know of my kind."

"I don't understand."

"You understand more than you should. Oh, the things you have done, the things you have changed! But... the repercussions of that meeting... it should have been more, so much more. What is it about you, Sarah Jane Smith, that keeps you safe? Why does time bend to you in the way that it does?"

"Sarah Jane Dalton," she corrected on instinct.

The Trickster's mouth curled into a grin. "Not really. You shouldn't be, should you? Not yet. I can feel the original path, just hidden. This is... like a fresh coat of paint; it has covered, hidden, not removed."

"How do you know all this?" she asked. The Doctor said nothing, how could the Trickster know?

"I can see the decision you made all those years ago... The same timeline, but different. My own change fought yours, it was hard... So much chaos, so much beauty."

"And Luke? Nicole? Where are my children?" she asked.

"You know already about Luke," it purred. "The Bane never came to Earth in this timeline, he is lost. But your... 'little one'..."

"Don't call her that," she said defiantly.

"You died, no husband. No child. She is lost..."

"Is she here?" Sarah asked, panic beginning to rise.

The Trickster waved its hand. "Events are moving but I will return. Your decisions, your mind... there is so much I can enjoy..."

"Don't you dare!" Sarah called out, over and over, until she was yelling at the mist.

Realising she was alone once more she turned to go back to Maria, but she stopped when she saw another figure stood nearby. "Nicole," she sobbed, reaching out and pulling her daughter into a hug. "Are you OK?"

Nicole didn't reply, just held onto her mother as if she couldn't bear to let go.

* * *

  
When Maria was pulled back, Sarah grabbed Nicole's hand. "It's going to be OK, little one," she said. "Not long now."

Things were being put right, Andrea would withdraw her agreement and soon...

Sarah felt the pull as Alan tried to bring her back into time, but no matter how hard she held onto Nicole's hand, she was wrenched free.

"Mum!" Nicole screamed as she was left alone in the mist, looking around her in panic.

"You are still mine," the voice rasped, "for these final moments at least."

Nicole turned around to see the black cloaked figure stood nearby. "What are you?" she asked.

"I am chaos, I am fear. I am all powerful."

"I am unimpressed," she replied, folding her arms.

"The daughter who should not be," the Trickster said, regarding her with his blank eyes. "You are not real, you are nothing."

"What?"

"You should not be. You cannot be."

"And yet I am. I've been called impossible before..."

"I can see time, I can _feel_ time. Moments of chaos that pass through the ages. But you, Nicole Grace Dalton, the child who should never be, you... you are something else. You... you are wrong."

Before she could respond the Trickster was gone, pulled back into the world by the events going on in the attic of 13 Bannerman Road. Nicole's head swam with what he'd said, but before she could begin to try and work it out she felt a pull on her body and she was back home. Andrea had withdrawn her agreement and all was right again.

Sarah pulled first Luke, then her into a hug, clinging on tight to her children. When Peter asked what was going on Sarah let go, walking over to her husband and giving him a lingering kiss.

The world was safe, everyone was home, but as Nicole wrapped her arms protectively around her waist she didn't feel like everything was going to be OK.

* * *

  
That night Sarah waited until she and Peter were alone in their room before asking him what he remembered of what he'd experiences.

"Nothing really," he said. "I guess when Andrea withdrew her agreement, everything was put back." He sat on the edge of the bed and started to remove his shoes. "Been wondering what I would have been up to though, what kind of a life I would have without you."

Sarah knew all too well what life it would have been, but she smiled and said nothing.

"I've asked Nicole to move back home for a bit."

This surprised her. "Why?"

"Because I think after this we need to have our family together for a while. I don't like the idea of her – or you – being in this... nowhere place. Luke never existing, me off somewhere... It doesn't feel right. We belong together."

Sarah finished pulling on the old t-shirt she slept in, and crawled over the bed towards him. Kneeling behind him she wrapped her arms loosely around his neck.

"I just need my family all together for a bit, OK?" he said.

"No complaints from me," she said quietly.

Peter reached up, putting his hand on her arm. "I can't imagine my life without you in it. Any of you."

"Me either," she said, trying not to think about the life she had lived before.

"Do you think he'll be back? This... Trickster?"

"I don't know," she admitted. She knew that he had tried twice more, but their conversation played on her mind. He had known, he had seen what she had done. What if his next trick was to try and undo it? "The box which protected Maria is upstairs. If he tries anything again, it should protect us."

"Hope so," Peter said, gently pulling Sarah's arms free and turning slightly to look at her. "Love you, Mrs Dalton."

"Love you too," she replied, kissing him gently. It quickly deepened and he turned his body, pinning her beneath him.

* * *

  
Nicole climbed into her old bed and switched off the bedside lamp. Gathering the covers around her she looked around at the bits and pieces of her childhood that she'd left behind when she'd moved out. Tomorrow she would go to her flat, pack up her things and come home. It had been her dad's idea, not hers, but she knew he was right.

She needed to be home right now. She just didn't want to be here.

* * *

  
With Alan's introduction to what they got up to, Sarah was able to go and ask him about the Armageddon virus. She didn't tell him what she needed it for, and she didn't answer his questions about why she wanted it. But he trusted her and burnt a copy to a disc as he'd done before.

_What is this, Sarah Jane?_ Mr Smith had asked as she'd inserted the disc and the program loaded.

"I'm protecting my family," she said quietly. "I won't let you take my son from me."

_How did you...?_ he began.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."

_My memory... I'm forgetting... My purpose..._

"Your purpose is to defend Earth," she told him. "You will protect me, my family, and this planet. Do you understand?"

_Yes, Sarah Jane. Thank you_.

And he was gone. The reboot would take a day, a day in which she would hope that nothing big would happen. But when she joined her family for lunch she couldn't take her eyes off Luke. There would be no news report, no fake family. He would never be taken from her, used to bring about destruction. This was one thing she had been keen to avoid this time around : she was not losing her son.

* * *

  
One thing she couldn't prevent though was the one thing she was dreading. The Earth was pulled out of the sky, day became night, and she stood in her attic, flanked by Nicole and Luke, as the Dalek cry reverberated through their ears.

_Exterminate. Exterminate._

Sarah clutched her children to her and she prayed that things were not going to change.


	22. Chapter 22

Making sure she had the warp star in her pocket, she pulled her jacket on. She had to go, she was a part of this. Everything would be OK if they would just stay in the attic; Mr Smith would protect them and everything would be OK.

"Mum," Nicole protested.

"I have to do this," she said. "I love you. I love both of you. Remember that."

_I will protect them_, Mr Smith said.

"You can't go out there," Nicole said, tears springing to her eyes. "Please, Mum, don't go out there."

"It's going to be OK, little one. I promise," she said, putting her hand to her daughter's cheek. "It's all going to be OK. Just trust me on this."

Nicole hesitated, torn between trusting her mother and her terror at what was out there. She'd seen her reaction to those things; she was scared. Sarah Jane Dalton was never scared. Worried, yes. Frustrated, a number of times. Confused, sure. Scared? Never.

"Mum..." she whispered.

Sarah planted a kiss on her daughter's forehead, holding her lips there for a few seconds. "Take care of your brother. I'll be back soon."

Leaving them in the attic, she raced down the stairs, picking up her bag as she went. She couldn't help but yelp when someone grabbed her arm, and she turned to see Peter.

"I'm not letting you go out there," he said. "I can't."

"Peter..."

"Sarah, I won't let you go out there with those... things. It's too dangerous."

"I'll be fine," she said with absolute conviction.

"You can't know that!"

"I do."

"Sarah, please. Don't go out there, love. I can't lose you."

Sarah took his face in her hands and smiled. "You won't, I promise."

"I've seen what they're doing," he whispered. "If you out there you'll be killed."

She kissed him – forcefully – then kept their faces close.

"I have never asked you for anything," he said, "but now I'm asking. Please don't go. I know you feel you have to, and I know this Doctor is important to you..."

"Do you think I would go, that I would leave you, Nicole and Luke if I didn't have to? If there was any other way..."

"Why you?" he pleaded. "Why do you have to go? If he's so great why does he need you to save the world? You have responsibilities, Sarah. You have a family. You need to be here, for me, for the kids. You can't just walk out on us."

"I have to go," she repeated, her voice soft. "But I will come back, I promise. You have to stay here, look after the kids. I need to know you're safe."

"And I need to know you're safe," he said, his voice breaking. "Please love. Don't leave me. Don't leave us."

"I will never leave you," she promised. She ran her hands down his face and kissed him again. "I love..."

"No," he said forcefully, grabbing her hands and pushing her away from him. "If you're so sure that you're coming back, if you're so sure that this is going to be OK, then you don't say goodbye. You don't make this sound like some... final farewell."

Sarah took a deep breath and then nodded, turning on her heel and walking out of the house. She'd not even got to her car before she heard the footsteps behind her. Peter's hands grabbed at her waist, spinning her around. His mouth was hard and hot on hers and they clung to each other.

"I love you," he whispered against her mouth.

"I love you too," she replied. "And I will come back to you. I promise."

Peter closed his eyes. "I believe you."

"Thank you," she breathed. "Stay inside, look after the kids. Mr Smith will protect you, shield you from the Daleks. They won't come for you."

"Stay safe," he said as she stepped away from him, getting into her car and driving off.

He stood for a moment on the driveway, staring into the space where she'd been. She'd been so sure, so confident that she was coming back to them, that she was going to be OK. He wished he could be as sure. Glancing upwards at the strange night sky, Peter looked at the new planets that surrounded the Earth. This was all new to him but his wife, his amazing and wonderful wife, seemed to take it in her stride.

The things she must have seen, the things she must have done... He finally understood why she wanted it as part of her life, why she'd insisted that he let her carry on the fight. Because while the sky was strange and the invasion was terrifying, he'd never seen anything so beautiful in his whole life.

* * *

"Calling the Daltons and Mr Smith! This is the Doctor. Come on, guys, shake your legs!"

Mr Smith's screen flashed into life, Nicole and Luke jumped to their feet.

"Is Mum there?" Luke asked.

"Oh she's fine and dandy," the Doctor said, glancing over the console.

In the background they could hear her laughing in relief.

"Now Mr Smith, I want you to harness the rift power and loop it around the TARDIS, you got that?" he said.

_I regret, I will need remote access to TARDIS base code numerals._

"Oh, blimey, that's gonna take a while."

" No, no, no, let me!" Sarah said. She moved to the monitor, smiling when she saw her children safe and sound. "K9! Out you come!"

_Affirmative, Mistress_, the unit said, coming into view.

"Oh, good dog!" the Doctor exclaimed. "K-9, give Mr Smith the base code!"

Sarah scanned the attic, but there was no sign of Peter. She wanted to ask where he was but there was no time. She managed to mouth 'I love you' at them before the screen changed.

* * *

When they landed back on Earth, Sarah was the first one to leave the TARDIS. "You know, you act like such a lonely man. But look at you. You've got the biggest family on Earth!" she laughed.

"Not unlike your family," he pointed out. "Gets bigger every time I see you."

She laughed as he hugged her, then pulled back.

"Gotta go! Luke's only fourteen. It's a long story."

"Look forward to hearing it sometime," he smiled. "Go. They'll be waiting to see you."

She started to back away, waving at him before she broke into a run. As she turned into Bannerman Road she could feel the burn in her legs and side, but nothing was going to stop her.

She slowed as she turned into her driveway, and broke into a grin when she saw Nicole and Luke waiting by the door.

"Mum!" they both called out, racing over to meet her.

She pulled them both into a hug, breathing in deeply. "You guys OK?" she managed to ask.

"We're fine," Nicole said into her mother's shoulder, not letting go. "You?"

"Just glad to be home."

"What happened?" Luke asked.

Sarah finally pulled back, putting a hand on each of their faces. "Later," she whispered. "Where's your father?"

"He's..." Nicole began, but Sarah was distracted by Peter coming to the door. He leant back against the frame, folding his arms and just watching them.

Luke glanced over his shoulder and saw his father. "He's been like that for a while."

"What happened?" Sarah asked.

"Come on then, kid," Nicole said, stepping back from Sarah and grabbing her brother's hand. "Let's go see what Clyde's been up to."

"What?" Luke asked, confused as to why he was being dragged off.

Sarah turned to her husband who said nothing, he just turned and walked back into the house.

* * *

She closed the door behind her and followed him into the living room.

"Peter?" she began, unsure of what was going on.

"Congratulations," he said, his voice flat. "You saved the world."

"What's wrong?"

"I was there, in the attic, when he called."

"What?"

"You ran off, we had no idea if you were OK..." Peter's voice started to crack but he struggled to remain composed. "I went looking for you."

"What?" she whispered.

"They were everywhere, Sarah. I didn't know where you were... I was here, with our _terrified_ children... I couldn't just sit here and wait. So I went looking for you.

"Mr Smith helped, he was able to track your car, so off I went."

Her stomach turned over as she realised where he was going with this. She'd left her car, abandoned in the street when she was confronted by Daleks.

"I thought you were dead," he said quietly. "I found the car... and I thought you were dead. I thought I'd lost you."

"Peter..." she breathed, moving towards him. To her horror he took a step back. "Peter, please."

"Do you have _any_ idea what you put me through?" he said, his voice unnaturally harsh.

She opened her mouth to respond, but couldn't think of anything to say and she closed it again.

"I couldn't tell them I'd found the car, but the idea of telling them that I couldn't find you was worse. How would we have known, if something had happened to you?" he challenged. "You walked out of here without a second thought, you left us behind and I would have been the one who would have had to pick up the pieces."

"I had to go," she said defiantly, walking over to him.

"Why?" he asked. "What is it about that man that made you walk away from your family?"

"He's... He's the Doctor," she said quietly.

"And that's supposed to mean something to me?"

"I can't explain."

"Well try," Peter almost spat, "because you left me here with our two children and no idea if I'd ever see you again."

"I know it's hard for you to understand but... I had to go. It was important."

"More important than us?"

"Nothing in this world is more important to me than you and the kids," she said, her voice beginning to crack. "But the Daleks... the things they would do to us.. I had to stop them. I was there when they were born, Peter, I know what they're like. If they weren't stopped then they wouldn't stop until every last person on this planet was dead."

"Why is that your responsibility?" he questioned. "Fine, I get it. The Daleks needed to be stopped. But why did it have to be you? Sarah, you have a family. You have people who love you and need you. You just left us."

She'd left Luke before when it was just the two of them, but somehow that had seemed... OK. It had killed her then, when it was just him, but she'd known then that she had to go and that Mr Smith would have protected him. Even if she'd not come back she knew that her son would have been safe.

This time she'd not only known how it would play out; the Reality Bomb would be destroyed, the worlds returned to their rightful places in space and time, and the Daleks vanquished, but she'd also known that her children would be safe with their father. If she'd never come back, if things had gone wrong, then they would have had him.

She'd not considered that they wouldn't have her.

"I had to go," she said softly. "I had to go and help him because... he's the Doctor. And if I'd not..." She stopped, moving to sit on the arm of the sofa. "The things I saw... They had this Reality Bomb. They rounded us up, put groups of people into it. Every atom in our body is held together by an electrical field and this bomb? Turned that field off. People just... dissolving into atoms.

"I managed to get away, but all I could do... I just stood there and watched these people, all ages, all kinds of people, just... dissolve. Like they were nothing. And all I could think of was that I had to stop them. I couldn't let them get near you or Luke or Nicole or Maria or Clyde or anyone else.

"They were just ordinary people. They weren't fighters, they weren't strong or dangerous. Just ordinary people. And the Daleks just... destroyed them. So of course we fought back. But they were powerful, so powerful. And we tried..." Her voice began to waiver but she didn't move. "It was so hard. And yeah, we won. But the cost..."

She broke off, her eyes filling with tears. "I wanted you to be safe, and I'm sorry..."

"I thought I'd lost you," Peter whispered, and as she blinked her own tears away she realised that his own eyes were filling. "You are _everything_ to me, Sarah, I can't... I don't ever want to lose you."

"You're never going to lose me," she said, getting up and crossing over to him.

They clung to each other, terrified of letting go. Sarah pushed up onto her feet to throw her arms around his neck, letting him bury his head in her neck. His tears ran down her skin, his own arms tight around her body. She could barely breathe but she didn't care. Eventually she felt his lips against her pulse, his hands moving to her spine. His mouth moved until it found her own; the kisses were hard, full of love and passion and relief.

They clung to each other, hands pushing over and under clothes as they fell back onto the sofa. It wasn't romantic and it wasn't lingering, but it was what they needed. It had been years since they'd done this; a house full of various kids had often been a bit of a deterrent, but right now they didn't care.

Moments like these they forgot that they were supposed to be middle aged, responsible people with one grown up daughter and a (kind of) teenage son. They forgot that they saved the world from their attic. They forgot the responsibilities that came with their professions and were just husband and wife. Deeply in love, deeply entwined in the other.

In the afterglow they composed themselves enough to seek out privacy; but they were far from finished.


	23. Chapter 23

Sarah pulled the duvet almost up to her chin and kept her focus on the ceiling above them. Peter lay beside her, his fingers running lines up and down her arm while he waited for her to be ready.

"Why don't you ever talk about this?" he asked when she remained silent. "All the things you saw..."

"I never had anyone to talk to about it."

"You had me. You have me," he corrected.

Without looking Sarah lifted the arm closest to him, and found his face. "Only these last few years."

He leant over and kissed her bare shoulder. "You have me now. So tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Everything," he said. "Every last adventure, every last creature, every last nightmare."

"Why?" she asked, finally turning her head to look at him.

"Because there's not a bit of you I don't want to know about. Because you need someone you can talk to about this stuff."

"It's not as if I didn't have anyone," she pointed out. "I had Harry..." She trailed off and shrugged slightly. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Not really," he laughed softly, kissing her shoulder again, his lips trailing over her skin. "But I think you need to talk about it."

"I love you," she said suddenly.

"I love you too," he replied in confusion.

"I keep dropping these... bombshells on you and you just take them. UNIT and the Doctor and the TARDIS, Luke and Daleks and..."

Peter moved slightly so the next kiss he planted was on her lips. "From the minute I met you I knew we were meant to be together. You ruined my shirt," he laughed, "but there was something about you. I couldn't get you out of my head and I tried everything I could think of to find you again. Then, one day, I had to take some papers to our newest client and there you were, in dozens of photos, all different ages.

"When I turned up at your flat, that was the moment I knew I was falling in love with you. Or that I was going to fall in love with you, depending on whether you believe in love at first sight. You are, Sarah Jane, my soul mate. You and I are perfect for each other."

"We really are, aren't we," she said quietly as if she was just realising it herself.

She had loved him so much that the dream maker had changed her timeline, sent her back and given her this second chance. In that timeline her love and grief had almost crippled her, pulled her apart. Here and now, lying in bed with her husband of twenty six years, she realised that what she'd felt for him then had been a mere infatuation in comparison. Without him she felt like she'd stop existing, like he was the electrical field keeping her atoms together.

As soon as the thought crossed her mind, she couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" Peter asked.

"Just you," she replied, putting her hand on his face. "You're turning me into a hopeless romantic."

"Nothing wrong with that," he said, moving so she could rest her head on his shoulder. "So. Where do we start?"

"At the beginning I guess," she said. "First creatures I met were the Sontarans."

"Those potato-headed things we met at the observatory?" Peter asked.

"Those ones," she smiled. "After that it was dinosaurs..."

"Real living dinosaurs?" Peter interrupted.

"I know how this argument goes," she smiled, "and I'm telling you now that my ace card is that I've seen the Loch Ness Monster."

"You're making this up," he said, only half serious.

Sarah laughed, allowing herself to relax in his arms. He listened while she talked, asking questions when he needed to and commenting at other points. She only stopped when they heard Luke and Nicole come home. As they climbed out of bed and quickly dressed, Sarah couldn't help but reflect on how lucky she was to have Peter in her life. And, with some irony, it was all thanks to the Trickster. She'd never have known Peter if it wasn't for his involvement.

"Mum? Dad?" Nicole called up. "I'm doing dinner, you hungry?"

Sarah suddenly realised that she was starving, and followed Peter to the door. As he opened it, he grabbed her hand and smiled at her.

Yeah. Things were good in the Dalton household.

For now at any rate.

* * *

For one night they managed to close the door on what was out there. The world was coming to terms and counting the cost of the Dalek invasion but the Dalton family were counting their blessings. Sarah looked around the table at her family and felt like she belonged. When she'd made her choice all those years ago, when she'd committed herself to this path, she'd never believed that one day she'd be doing something as normal as a family dinner with people she would give her life for in a heartbeat.

Nicole was quiet, and whenever she could get away with it she kept looking at her mother. She was so calm, collected. The way she was with her father was, on the one hand, heart-warming. After twenty six years of marriage it was quite nice to see that they still loved each other, still fancied each other. (And yes, she was very much aware of what they had been doing upstairs.)

On the other...

"Excuse me," she said, pushing her chair back.

"You OK, little one?" Sarah asked.

Nicole managed to smile but left the room as quickly as possible.

"I got it," Peter said gently, getting to his feet. He kissed Sarah on the top of her head before following their daughter. She was nowhere downstairs so he climbed the stairs. "Nic?" he called out. "Nic, honey? It's just me."

He knocked on her bedroom door, waiting for the muffled invitation.

"Sweetheart..."

"I can't do this, Dad," Nicole said, bursting into tears the minute he'd closed the door beside him. "I can't just... be here and..."

"It's OK," he soothed, pulling the sobbing girl into his arms. "Oh darling..."

"It's not fair. She's acting like it's all normal..." Nicole pulled back and looked up at him with tear-filled eyes. "I saw what they did."

"...How?"

"Mr Smith," she explained. "You'd been gone for ages... I got him to hack into the traffic cameras. Luke didn't see," she said quickly, "but I did. And Mum just walked out into that. You just walked out into that."  
"Oh honey," Peter soothed, pulling her back in and kissing the top of her head. He ran his hand down her hair in gentle strokes, reminding them both of how he'd been when she was five years old and unable to sleep because of monsters under her bed. Of course now the monsters were out there and no amount of platitudes or night lights would make them go away.

"I can't take this anymore," she muttered, clinging to his shirt.

"It'll be OK, I promise."

"How?" she asked.

"...I don't know," he admitted.

"You know, even after everything... If I thought it would work, I'd ask her to stop. Give it all up."

"Nicole..."

"I want my Mum back. I want my normal, slightly embarrassing Mum back. I don't want to have to share her with half the school, I don't want to have to feel like I'm way down on her list of priorities."

"You're not," he said.

"Really? When was the last time she and I did anything? When was the last time she told me she loves me?"

"Nic, your mum adores you."

Nicole gave a small shrug.

"Trust me," he said. "You're her world. You're everything to her."

She stepped back, wrapping her arms around her waist. "Maybe," she said. "Look, I'll be fine. It's been... one of those days."

"Tell me about it," he said, brushing his daughter's hair from her face. He held her jaw in his hands and smiled. "It'll be fine, kid."

"I'll be down in a second, OK?" she said. "Just... give me a minute."

Peter smiled and kissed her forehead. "See you down there."

When she was alone, Nicole curled up on her bed, hugging the stuffed owl she'd had since she was a baby, and quietly sobbed her heart out.

* * *

Maria and Alan moved away, Rani and her family moved in. Sarah was haunted by clowns, Luke saved the world by having no birthday, Mr and Mrs Dalton even managed a "romantic" break to chase down a creature in an abandoned hospital wing.

When the Trickster tried to tempt Sarah into changing the past she went along with it, knowing that she was the reason they drove off in the first place. She'd been wary of meeting the Trickster again; after her last (first) encounter she was worried that he would say something, do something that would reveal to everyone exactly what she'd done to change the timeline. But it all happened as before. She went back in time, hand in hand with her husband and her son (Nic had chosen to stay back with Clyde and Rani), and it had been as it was. That night Peter had held her as she cried for them, something she'd not really been able to do before.

Then Mrs Wormwood came back.


	24. Chapter 24

"You don't trust her," Peter remarked as they headed back to the house, the Tunguska scroll safely in their possession. "Mrs Wormwood."

"Would you?" she asked, glancing over at him.

"You two OK back there?" Alistair asked.

"Fine," Sarah said, putting her hand on Peter's knee.

"No making out in the back," Rani quipped, Sarah's gesture not unnoticed.

"I can't trust her," Sarah whispered.

"Why not?" Peter asked.

"She..." Sarah hesitated. "Some leopards don't change their spots."

"Mr Smith will keep her contained," Peter said quietly. "She can't get at Luke, or Nicole."

"No," she said quietly, knowing that when they got back Mrs Wormwood would be free and the betrayal would be set in motion.

"Hey," Peter said quietly, putting his hand on hers and squeezing it gently. "It'll be fine."

"I should never have left them."

"What?"

"I'm supposed to protect them," she said sadly, her fingers running over the scroll, "and I left them alone, with her."

"You're a great mum," Peter assured her. "If you even suspected something would happen..."

Sarah felt her stomach turn over.

"It'll be fine," he said – but she knew it wouldn't be.

* * *

Nicole stood in front of Luke and Clyde, making the futile gesture of trying to protect them. In reality it was a case of the order they'd be eaten, rather than a choice of who, but still she did it.

Of course this meant that she was more in the firing line when Mrs Wormwood came to their rescue.

"Luke!" Sarah called as the car pulled up outside the house.

Nicole tried to scrape as much of the Bane... goo? ...off her as possible, glancing away as her mother rounded on Mrs Wormwood.

"You OK, love?" Peter asked.

"Nothing a hot shower won't fix," she muttered.

"Nic?"

"Doesn't matter," she said as they all headed off.

Sir Alistair took the three kids, leaving Mrs Wormwood under the watchful eyes of the Daltons. As Sarah pulled out and began to follow the other car, she glanced in the rear view mirror. "You alright, Nic?" she asked.

"Just fine," Nicole sighed, squeezing white slime from her hair.

"My apologies for the... mess," Mrs Wormwood said.

"Better than the alternative."

"I thought so too."

"Thanks."

This seemed to shock Mrs Wormwood for a moment. "For what?"

"You did kinda save our lives."

"I thought it best," she smiled. "I doubted Sarah Jane would continue to help me if I allowed her children to be eaten. Parents seem to be... protective of their young."

"You say that like it's not normal," Nicole challenged.

"Where I come from, a... child is left to survive. If it cannot then that is the way of things. I believe humans have something similar?"

"Survival of the fittest?"

"Yes," Mrs Wormwood smiled. "Any Bane that makes it to maturity has learned to adapt, grow and survive."

"Well we protect our young," Sarah cut in, not taking her eyes off the road. "We defend them against anyone who means them harm."

"Oh Miss Smith," Mrs Wormwood sighed, "I have no designs on the boy. He is of no use to me now." She smiled and glanced at Peter. "It's not really Miss Smith, is it?"

"No," Peter replied. "But it'll do."

"Parents and child, fighting side by side," Mrs Wormwood said, her voice dripping with velvet as she turned to Nicole. "How... lovely."

Nicole knew there was something not quite right about this situation, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

* * *

By the time they reached Gita's flower shop, most of the Bane goo had dried. Nicole and the boys brushed off what they could then found some old rags to sponge off the rest. She rinsed her hair under the tap then scraped it back into a ponytail.

"Thanks," Luke said when Clyde had gone.

"For what?"

"You tried to protect us. Protect me."

Nicole smiled and punched him lightly on the arm. "You're my little brother, and even if I am meant to want to see you fed to aliens, I kinda like having you around."

"But you didn't have to put yourself in danger. You chose to."

"We're family."

"I know," he smiled. "Mum would have done the same thing for me."

"Yeah, she would have," Nicole realised. "Come on, let's go and see what they're up to."

* * *

"Shall I destroy them now?" Kaagh asked, raising his gun.

"Why?" Nicole asked, instinctively shifting so Luke was behind her. "You've got what you came for."

"Such a defiant girl," Mrs Wormwood said, pushing Kaagh's gun aside. "I see myself in you."

"I hope not," Nicole said.

"So much more to you than what others see..."

Mrs Wormwood reached out towards Nicole but she was pulled back.

"Keep your hands off my daughter," Peter said, letting go of Nicole's arm.

"You've got what you wanted," Luke said, "just go."

"I will spare your friends if you will come with me," Mrs Wormwood said.

"No! He is going nowhere with you, he is _my_ son," Sarah replied, putting herself between Mrs Wormwood and Luke.

Nicole's heart stopped for a second as she watched her mother defending Luke. She didn't begrudge him Sarah's love; her parents loved Luke as if he were their own, and yes – she loved him too. But it was the fact that she'd not done that for her that smarted.

"I'll come with you," Luke said, "but you don't hurt anyone. You have to promise."

"No, Luke..." Sarah protested.

"And I promise you, Sarah Jane Smith, that as long as you can resist that infuriating tendency to meddle, Luke will be safe."

As Mrs Wormwood and Kaagh marched Luke towards the back of the shop, Sarah called out to him, telling him that she loved him. Nicole couldn't take her eyes off her mother and wondered what he reaction would have been if the positions were different.

When Mrs Wormwood activated her ring, Nicole felt the blackness swim over her, but before she passed out she noticed the alien walk back towards her, her head tilting to one side as she regarded the young woman.

"So much promise," Nicole heard her say before she passed out.

* * *

Nicole woke up in the back of what she presumed to be a spaceship. Luke had described the Sontaran space pod to her and this pretty much matched up with the image in her head. Although for some reason she thought it would be bigger.

"Nicole!" Luke exclaimed, moving to his sister's side as she sat up. "Are you OK?"

"Feels like I had a good night," she said, gingerly touching her temple. "You'll understand," she grinned, seeing the look on his face. "Where are we?"

"I don't know," he said. "Some warehouse."

"The others?"

"She left them at the shop. Mrs Wormwood is going to destroy the universe."

"Of course she is," Nicole said, getting to her feet. "It's always about destroying the universe."

"Ah, you're awake," Mrs Wormwood said as she approached. "Good. I'd like a word with you if I may. Alone," she added, throwing a look at Luke.

Peter helped Sir Alistair into the chair as Rani roused Sarah.

"How long have I been out?" she asked. "Luke..."

"We have to get him back," Clyde said.

"Nicole's gone too," Peter added.

"If she thinks taking them will stop me then Mrs Wormwood really doesn't understand motherhood," Sarah said, ignoring the fact that her head was swimming and making for the door. She knew that the others were following her but she did nothing until Peter put his hand on her arm. "Why did she take Nicole?" she asked.

"I don't know," Peter admitted.

"If she thinks it'll stop me..."

"Stop us," Peter corrected as they reached her car. "I'm coming too."

Sarah smiled weakly at him, then began to fumble for her keys. "I have to get them back."

"We will." Peter's voice was much calmer, and he took the keys from her hand, sliding them effortlessly into the lock. "They're going to be OK."

"If anything happens to them..." Sarah's composure broke and she let Peter pull her against his chest and hold her there for a moment. "Mr Smith!" she exclaimed. "He should be able to find them. Come on..."

* * *

Nicole eyed the woman with suspicion. "What do you want with me?" she asked.

"You intrigue me," Mrs Wormwood admitted. "Your... attachment to my child."

"Luke is not your child," Nicole pointed out.

"He is not Sarah Jane's either."

"So what? You're planning on suing for custody?"

"You defended him, put yourself in harm's way for him."

"He's my brother."

"The Universe is a cruel place, Nicole. It delights in the tricks it plays. How could I have ever imagined that it would come to this? My only kindred, my only child, would be the most perfect human? I can see why Sarah Jane Smith is so attached to him... but you?"

For one second Nicole thought that Mrs Wormwood was wondering why her mother loved her, but as the alien looked over at Luke, she understood.

"He's my family," Nicole said.

"He's my boy."

"You're not his mother."

"I gave him life," Mrs Wormwood pointed out, "and I can give him so much more. Give you both so much more. There are such wonderful things out there in space, amazing things. You and Luke, by my side... you could inherit an entire galaxy. You could wield such power..."

"Are you for real?" Nicole asked.

"I see how your mother regards you," Mrs Wormwood said. "She cares about you but you think that she doesn't see you. I see you, Nicole. I see a young woman with such strength and such promise. You will never be who you truly can be if you stay here. Sarah Jane cannot give you what I can. Here you are unimportant. One among many. But with me? You can be _everything_..."

Nicole glanced over at her brother, sat on the ramp of the space pod, watching them intently.

"Think about it," Mrs Wormwood said, reaching out to touch Nicole's hair. "The daughter... I never had."

As Nicole went back to sit beside Luke she said nothing, pulled her knees up to her chin, and thought about it.


	25. Chapter 25

As Mr Smith tracked the energy signature of the scroll, Peter reached out and took his wife's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"They could be anywhere," Clyde said, looking at the map on the screen.

"We'll find them," Peter said.

"Wherever they are, however much time we have, we have an advantage. Luke and Nicole. Remember that."

_Target acquired_, Mr Smith said, relaying the details to them.

"That's where Horath is buried," Sarah said, grabbing her watch back.

"They're going to be OK," Peter assured her.

"They'd better be. If she so much as _touches_ them..."

"Luke knows what he's doing, and Nicole is not going to let anything happen to him." Peter put his arm around her shoulders. "We've got great kids, love."

"Yeah, we do," she smiled. "Let's go bring them home."

* * *

  
When the car stopped, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, Kaagh ordered them out. When he shoved Luke out of the door Nicole rounded on him.

"Touch my brother again and I'll make sure that not even Mr Muscle will be able to unblock that vent in the back of your neck, got it?" she said, holding out her hand to Luke.

"Oh yes," Mrs Wormwood purred. "I like her indeed." She turned to the stone circle and smiled. "This is it. The resting place of Horath. The birth place of a new galactic aeon. The age of Wormwood."

"And Kaagh," the Sontaran added.

Nicole couldn't help but snort. "Sounds like somewhere Dad would work."

"No female can rule an empire alone. You need me, Wormwood," Kaagh declared – right before he walked into the force field barrier.

"Need an aspirin?" Nicole asked.

As Mrs Wormwood realised what the barrier was protecting and who could walk through it, Nicole glanced around her. They were in the middle of nowhere at this poor man's Stonehenge. No sign of rescue.

"Yet I, Luke, have you," Mrs Wormwood purred, turning to face him. "It was meant that I should give you life, and lose you to Sarah Jane. That you would await my return, for this moment."

"You're talking about fate," Luke said. "I don't believe in fate."

"I do," Nicole said without thinking. "So does Dad." She moved forward, inching her way between Luke and Mrs Wormwood. "Dad always said that it was fate that he met Mum. Without fate they wouldn't be together. Without fate, I wouldn't be here."

"Such a wonderful child," Mrs Wormwood said, lifting her hand to Nicole's cheek. "So open to the possibilities."

"Maybe it was meant that Luke would bring you into my life instead," she considered. "He is my prince but you..."

"Do I look like princess material to you?" Nicole said, folding her arms and hoping that she sounded as defiant as she looked.

"Mum was right," Luke said. "You are mad."

"Nicole," Mrs Wormwood said, ignoring Luke's defiance. "There is so much more out there. Your mother knows; she has seen it. And I can show it to you. You can travel among the stars as she did. What parent wouldn't want the best experiences for their child? Come, join with me and we can walk among the stars like gods."

"Nicole..." Luke began, reaching for his sister's shoulder.

She shrugged, pushing it off. "You know I hate being called that," she said quietly. Without saying anything else, she reached out and took the scroll from Mrs Wormwood's hands.

"Place the scroll in the altar stone, and come out," Mrs Wormwood said.

"No, Nic, please," Luke said as she walked into the stone circle, through the barrier as if it wasn't even there.

* * *

The ground shook as the circle activated, and Sarah knew what had happened. Luke would have placed the scroll in the circle and if they didn't hurry then things might be very different indeed.

* * *

  
"How could you?" Luke asked, but Nicole was looking at the circle and the lights.

"Doesn't look much like a grave," she said.

"It's a portal," he realised. "Horath was never buried on Earth. It's a doorway to somewhere else, another dimension maybe."

"And you have opened it for me," Mrs Wormwood said, putting her hand on Nicole's shoulder. "You have earned your place with me and your brother. Luke was a part of your family, now maybe it should be that you become a part of mine. Join us, rule with us. The most almighty power in the Universe will be ours.

"I can see it in you," she continued, "the desire for something more. Come with us, Nicole. Be the most important person in all creation."

"No, Nic..." Luke said, but he knew she wasn't listening to him. Kaagh grabbed at him, unhappy at being replaced by these two half forms, but Mrs Wormwood was swift in dealing with him. "Nic!" he said as she turned to stand, side by side, with Mrs Wormwood.

"Join us," she said, holding out her hands, "my son."

"No. You can't control the portal. It's too powerful."

"How can it be that Sarah Jane Smith made this one so strong and you so... timid? I shall make you strong. You shall be a god."

"I don't want to be a god."

"It is your fate. To sit with your mother and sister and to preside over all creation. You, are my prince."

"LUKE!"

Hearing their mother's voice, Luke and Nicole turned their heads towards the road. As he broke out in a run towards her, Nicole's gaze landed on her father, just a few steps behind.

Sarah pulled Luke into a hug, Peter's arms wrapping around them both.

"Luke..." Mrs Wormwood breathed before turning to the girl still stood beside her. "Yet you remain?"

"You said you understand me?"

"You... look lost. In this world you have grown up in, with a family you were born to, and yet you look lost. You feel as if you don't belong."

"I know I don't," she said. "Which is ironic given Luke's the adopted one."

"Nicole?" Sarah called out. "Let her go, Mrs Wormwood."

"Oh I am not holding her here," Mrs Wormwood replied. "In fact, I would go so far as to say that she may walk away at any time of her choosing. Nic, the choice is yours."

"Come on, sweetheart," Peter said, holding out his hand.

Nicole didn't move.

"Don't do it, Nic. Please," Luke begged.

"Do what?"

"She's going to go with Mrs Wormwood," Luke said.

"Over my dead body," Peter said with venom.

"I merely... gave her the choice. It is only fair, is it not? A child for a child?"

Behind them the ground fell away to reveal the stars as the portal opened.

"Luke? Come with us, Luke. We will see things beyond even your imagination. Come to me, Luke. Come to your mother."

"No. Sarah Jane is my mother," Luke protested.

Nicole watched her mother pull him into a hug and she felt her own heart break.

"Do you hear that, Mrs Wormwood? Luke is my son. Because I have loved him and cared for him... And Nicole..."

"Ah yes, the child you forsake for the other," Mrs Wormwood began.

"I have _never_ forsaken her, I never could!" Sarah protested. "She is my daughter. I have loved her from the moment I knew she existed, before I'd even met her. Every day I look at her and I see my miracle."

"But Luke..." Nicole said, trying to put it into words.

"I thought she just wanted Luke," Sarah said, shifting her attention to her daughter, "and I would do anything to stop her. But you...?" Sarah held out her hand. "You're a part of me, Nic."

"Simple biology," Mrs Wormwood said, trying to keep her hold over one of them at least.

"There is nothing simple about it," Sarah replied. "I love them. People who understand love don't want to crush planets or take over the Universe. Those people aren't people at all, they truly are monsters."

Nicole's gaze flickered to her father and she felt her heart beat faster.

"You're right, Miss Smith," Mrs Wormwood smiled, "and it is so much more fun to embrace one's nature. And what more fun could there be than to destroy you? With your deaths the age of Wormwood will begin."

"Yeah, still sounds like a firm name," Nicole quipped.

The distraction was enough; Kaagh raced towards them, pushing Mrs Wormwood into the portal. She grabbed out at the last moment, her hand closing around Nicole's arm. Just as she thought she was going to go with them, a strong, familiar pair of arms snaked around her waist, pulling her to the ground.

With a final burst of light and energy the portal closed.

"Nicole!" Sarah exclaimed.

"You OK, love?" Peter asked, lifting himself up from where he'd protectively landed on her.

"Been better," she said, letting him pull her to feet and rubbing her hip where she'd landed awkwardly.

It was only seconds before Sarah's arms were around her daughter. "Are you OK?"

"Fine, Mum," she replied.

"I thought I'd lost you," she whispered.

"No such luck," Nicole quipped.

Sarah pulled back, putting her hands on her daughter's face. "Don't even joke about it."

* * *

  
On the car ride home, Nicole was quiet, choosing to stare out of the window. Sarah and Peter tried to talk to her but eventually they left her alone. Luke shifted over in the van so he was sitting across from her.

"Would you really have gone with her?" he asked quietly.

"Why not?" she asked.

"I don't believe you," he muttered. "You'd have left us? She couldn't be trusted."

"I can look after myself," Nicole snapped. "Just... leave it."

Peter listened to the conversation but said nothing. As Luke moved back to his seat Peter glanced sideways at Sarah and he sighed gently.


	26. Chapter 26

Nicole listened carefully to the footsteps on the path; too light to be her father, too quiet to be her mother, so it only left one option.

"Shouldn't Mum still be fussing over you or something?" she said, a note of bitterness creeping into her voice.

"Mum loves you too," Luke said. "Shift over."

Nicole shuffled over on the garden seat, sitting cross legged at one end while Luke sat down.

"She didn't choose me."

"No, she just picked a name at random and it was yours," she droned.

"She was worried about me. About what Mrs Wormwood was going to do."

"And she wasn't worried about me?"

"Of course she was. Dad said that Mum was ready to tear this country apart to look for us."

"Doesn't feel like it sometimes."

"You need to talk to her," Luke said, turning his body slightly so he was facing her. "If you two just talked about it I'm sure..."

"What? That all would be well in the house of Dalton?" Nicole spat. "Life is not that simple, Luke."

"And what would be simple?" he asked. "You going off with Mrs Wormwood?"

"Solved a few problems here."

"You think they'd be glad to see you go?" Luke asked, his voice rising slightly. "If you'd gone then it would have killed them. You'd probably be dead."

Nicole said nothing as she thought about this.

"You really didn't buy into that whole 'rule the universe' thing, did you?" Luke asked, breaking the silence. "You were considering it, I could see it."

"Yeah, I was," she admitted.

"Why?"

"Because... Oh, I can't explain it."

"Try, please," he begged. "This can't carry on, Nic. There's something not quite right between you and Mum and I don't know how to fix it."

"You can't fix everything," she smiled. "No matter how much you might want to."

"Mum loves you. I know she does."

"I'm not doubting that. Of course she loves me."

"Then what?"

"I... see her with you. And it's amazing, it really is. She doesn't care where you came from or the fact that you're... well, sometimes you're not quite human!" she laughed. "I'm sorry, kid, but the things you say and do? But she doesn't care. She really doesn't care. You could have... two heads and she'd still love you."

"You know, she said the same about you," Peter said, interrupting their conversation. "When she was in labour. She said that you could have two heads and she'd still love you." Nicole tried to smile, and Peter nodded. "Luke, mate, why don't you get inside. Need a quick word with this one."

Luke looked from one to the other, then he got to his feet, allowing his father to take his place on the seat.

"I have never doubted that she loves me," Nicole said once they were alone. "It's just..."

"I know, I know, sweetheart."

"No, Dad, you don't. You have no idea what I am going through." She uncrossed her legs and got up. "You know the funny thing? She understood. Of all the people it was that... _thing_ that understood."

"Your mum would understand too. If you gave her the chance."

"I can't."

"Nic, you two used to be so close."

"Yeah, well I used to be about four foot and have my hair in pigtails."

"And you were just as stubborn then," Peter said, getting to his feet. "But you are still my daughter, and I still love you with every bit of my heart. I'm not giving up on you."

Nicole glanced towards the house, a gesture her father didn't miss.

"And neither would she. Ever. If you'd gone with that woman she'd have turned the Universe inside out to find you."

"Maybe that's what it'll take," Nicole sighed, leaning back against the garden table. "One gesture..."

"Oh what? You want her to lay down her life for you? Is that what it's going to take?" he asked.

"Never had you down for the dramatic type, Dad," Nicole said.

"Well I've got a wife recovering from what she's saying is the worst day of her life, a son who's not quite sure what's going on with his family, and a daughter who is winding herself up because of some... throwaway comment."

"Th- Throwaway?" she stuttered. "Dad..."

"Luke was right. You need to talk to your mother."

"So now you're writing me off too?"

"Nic..."

"Just... forget it," she spat, walking away from him.

* * *

Peter kissed the top of Sarah's head as he came into the kitchen, moving out of the way quickly when she sat up. "You should have come to bed," he said.

"Couldn't sleep," she said. "Well, not at first," she added.

"Sarah..."

"I just want her home," she whispered, struggling to stop her voice from breaking.

"Me too." Peter walked up behind the chair and let her lean back against him, his arms draped over her shoulders. "I'm sure she's fine."

"How can you know that?" Sarah challenged.

"Because if I don't believe it then I won't be able to cope." His sudden burst of honesty shocked her, and she got to her feet. "You don't think I've gone over every last bit of that conversation? Tried to think of what I might have said to her that would have stopped this?"

"I know, I know..." she soothed.

They'd both had their fair share of sleepless nights the last few weeks since Nicole left. At first they'd waited, then reported her missing to the police. Only now they weren't classing her as a runaway because she'd been found. She just didn't want her parents to know where she was, and as she was over the age of eighteen, that was apparently fine with them.

Sarah had tried every contact that she had, spoken to UNIT, a couple of friendly aliens she knew who were good at tracking, but still she had no idea where her daughter was.

And it was killing her.

"This is my fault," she sighed.

"No, love, it's not."

"Luke was right, I was choosing him over her. My own daughter..."

"Your own son," Peter said. "You and I have never treated them differently and we're not going to start now." He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Nic will come home when she's ready."

"I just wish I knew what she was thinking," Sarah muttered.

"It'll be fine." Peter neatly sidestepped the issue, hating himself for not saying anything. If he brought it up now then it would do more harm to Sarah than good, and if her 'contacts' hadn't been able to track Nicole down then there didn't seem to be anything they could do.

Sarah went back to the table, picking up the envelope and turning it over in her hands.

"What's that?" Peter asked.

"A letter."

"To Nic?"

"To you," she said.

"Right." He tried to think why she would be writing to him. "Hopefully not a 'Dear John' letter."

"No," she smiled. "It's... I need you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"If I give this to you then you don't open it. Not until I ask you to."

"What's in it?"

"It's important," she said. "I need you to take this and put it somewhere safe, somewhere I can't get at it." She turned to face him, tapping the letter against her free hand. "Might be best giving it to Mr Smith with instructions that only you can retrieve it."

"Sarah, you're starting to scare me a little."

"I'm sorry," she said, walking over to him. "It's just... one day you might need what's in here."

"But only when you tell me?" he asked, taking it from her.

"Just... humour me, please?"

"OK." He kissed her on the forehead and headed upstairs to speak to the computer.

* * *

In his room, Luke stared at his mobile phone. Almost as soon as the clock ticked over to half eight, the screen changed to announce the incoming call.

"Nic?" he answered.

"Hey kid. Don't say it."

"I have to," he continued. "You need to come home."

"I don't need to do anything."

"Mum is not coping."

"Then that's two of us," she snapped back. "I just need... I just need some time to get my head around stuff."

"Mum sent trackers after you."

"I know." He could hear the pride in her voice at having bested them. "I will come home, Luke, just... not yet."

"When?"

"When I'm ready."

"And how long is that going to take?" he asked. He stopped when he heard footsteps on the landing outside his room. "No, Clyde," he said quickly, "no update."

He turned around as the door was pushed open, and Sarah put her head around. "You coming down for breakfast?" she asked.

"In a minute," he said to her before going back to the phone. He'd have to get Clyde to back him up later if need be. "I just wish I could do something."

"You are, kid," Nicole said, her voice softening. "How's Dad?"

"Not coping either."

"I love you."

"I know," he replied, unable to return the sentiment in case their mother was still within earshot. "Come home," he whispered. "It'll be OK, I promise."

"Take care," Nicole said, and then she was gone.

Luke sent a quick text to Clyde to inform him of the call, and went downstairs for breakfast. He watched his parents going about their business as if everything was normal, knowing that it was as far from normal as it could get. With this family that really was something.

* * *

Days like this, Sarah would drive out to the countryside, climb a hill, sit on the grass and look out across the land. She could claim that it was some psychological need to look, to try and spot Nicole out there, but in truth she just liked the peace and quiet.

"If I'd known..." she said out loud to the wind.

"If we all knew," came a voice she was not expecting, and she almost gave herself whiplash as the fortune teller came and sat next to her. "But then life wouldn't be life, would it?"

"I have spent the last thirty years knowing... I can't deal with this."

"You have never known what would happen with Nicole," the teller replied. "She was new, something that was not in your life before."

"Something I can't live without," Sarah added. "Where is she?"

"I don't know."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because this time is running out," the teller said, her voice low and serious. "You are months away from that night."

"What night?" Sarah asked.

"The night you dreamed of this life."

"This was not what I dreamt of," Sarah replied, hugging her knees to her chest. "I did not dream of my daughter being missing, out there somewhere..."

"She is not missing. She is right where she is, where she wants to be."

"Not where she should be."

"That's what you think. Sometimes the Universe has other ideas. You made changes, Sarah, you can't expect everything to be as you remember it."

"Is it too much to ask that my family stays safe?" she quipped. "So... why are you here?"

"This time is coming to an end."

Sarah's panic rose but for other reasons. "Which means? Are things going to go back to how they were?"

"No," the woman laughed. "This isn't something that can be... switched off. No reset, I promise you."

"Then what?"

"Then... we shall see. Things shall be as they should be. The addition shall be your salvation."

Sarah shook her head and smiled. More riddles. "One thing I've wanted to know," she said as the woman got to her feet. "How did this happen in the first place? Taking me back but keeping my memories?"

"That's old magic."

"Not sure I believe in magic," Sarah muttered.

"Used to believe in miracles though," came another voice.

Sarah almost fell over in her haste to get to her feet.

"All the places..." Nicole said, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans.

Sarah wanted to run over, grab her daughter into a bear hug and never, ever, ever let her go.

"Maybe the Universe is trying to tell me something."

"You OK?" Sarah managed to ask.

"Been better. You?"

"Same," she said, trying not to get too excited about this turn of events. "So... should I read anything into this?"

"What?"

"You could have walked away, Nic. You didn't have to say anything."

"Yeah, well, my mother's up here talking to herself. Can't just leave you up here."

"You could... make sure I get home OK?"

"...Yeah. Be the right thing to do, I suppose."

Nicole held out her hand as a gesture, so Sarah moved over towards her daughter. Once they were within arm's reach they both stopped, looking at each other.

"Mum..." Nicole whispered.

"It's OK, little one," Sarah said, pulling her into a hug and holding on like she was never going to let go.


	27. Chapter 27

Nicole followed her mother home, but when their cars pulled up in the driveway Sarah got out of hers and climbed into the passenger seat of her daughter's.

"Where were you?" Sarah asked. "I mean, we looked..."

Nicole gave a short laugh. "Word of advice, Mum. When you hire trackers to find me, make sure they're above being paid off."

Sarah couldn't help but laugh herself, rolling her eyes. "You are your mother's daughter alright."

Nicole shrugged, looking at the house in front of them.

"Why did you...?" Sarah asked, the mood breaking.

"I had to."

"Why? There is nothing we..."

"Mum, I just had to, OK?" Nicole said with a bit more force. "Stuff I needed to think about."

"Like what happened with Mrs Wormwood?"

"For one."

"Nic..."

"I know you love me," she interrupted. "It was never that."

"Then what?"

"It's just... You and Luke, you have this thing. And it's an amazing thing. You and Dad kept it from me for so long, and even now that I know about it..."

"You don't feel like a part of it?"

"Dad might be OK with just sitting on the sidelines but I'm not. I want to be a part of something, Mum. I need to be involved..."

"OK," Sarah said, reaching across and stroking Nicole's hair. "You've had it cut," she remarked.

"And that is what you focus on?" Nicole laughed.

"The day you were born I was terrified," Sarah admitted. "I knew what was out there, all those creatures? The idea of them even getting _near_ you made me consider locking you in a room somewhere."

"Protective much?"

"Goes hand in hand with being a mum. You'll find that out one day."

"Don't shut me out, Mum. I don't care what's out there. You put Luke in front of it all..."

"That's different," Sarah said, but she couldn't think of how to explain it.

"I know, but why can't it be different for me too?"

"Nic, if anything happened to you..."

"Something did happen," she pointed out. "Something always happens. I've been there, I've seen it, I've even helped! You can't protect me."

"Won't stop me trying," she quipped.

"Fair enough. But stop trying to shut me out. Please."

"OK," Sarah nodded. "Come on then. Your dad and Luke will be thrilled to see you."

"I think Luke's probably fed up of me now," Nicole said as she got out of the car.

"What?"

"Oh. Yeah. Right. See..."

* * *

  
Nicole wandered into the kitchen, still in her nightwear, and picked a piece of toast from her father's plate. "Where's Mum?" she asked.

"On a story," he replied, "and for stealing my breakfast you're grounded."

"Just try it," she grinned.

"Plans for the day?"

"Nothing much. Might just go back to bed and try and ignore tomorrow is coming, along with the ritual embarrassment you're going to subject me to."

"It's your birthday."

"It's not even a big one!"

"Do you think that matters to your mum?"

Nicole sighed. "She's fussing because I..."

"Ran away?" Peter said bluntly. "Not every day you turn twenty two," he said, changing the subject.

"Yeah, and how often is Mum going to turn thirty nine?" she quipped.

"Your mother is growing old gracefully, and she looks amazing for her age. In fact, I'd go so far as to say she looks even more beautiful now than she did when we first met."

"Oh you're about to get all gushing aren't you? Please Dad, I'm eating."

"Yeah, my breakfast."

"You always do more than you want," she pointed out.

"Because I have a daughter, who despite being the child of a successful lawyer, still has not grasped the concept of stealing being wrong."

"Oh I'd like to see you fight that in court. You do more than you want so that I can take what I want... Is that really stealing or is that merely waste reduction? Because in this day and age shouldn't we all be doing our bit?"

"And there's the journalist part of you," Peter sighed.

The banter stopped as the house began to shake. Nicole looked out of the window just in time to see the tail end of the fireball streak out of view.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Ask the woman who knows everything," Peter quipped as the front door opened.

"Fiver says it was a meteor," Clyde was saying as the four of them headed up to the attic. Nicole followed them up the first flight, ducking into her room to quickly change into a pair of jeans and an old shirt. Scraping her hair up into a ponytail she bounded up the last flight to the attic where Mr Smith was already giving his report.

"Is that a rhino?" she asked as Mr Smith played back the distress call.

"He's Judoon," Sarah explained. "They work for the Shadow Proclamation. They're sort of galactic policemen."

"Sounds like something Dad needs to deal with," Nicole said.

* * *

  
"You need a bigger car, Mum," Luke muttered as they crammed into the Figaro.

"We could always leave you behind," Nicole muttered as she pulled her seatbelt on. "You OK about going into this, Mum?"

"Too many guns for my liking, but sure – let's put my kids in the way."

"Like you could stop us," Clyde pointed out.

"Like you'd want to," Nicole added quietly with a smile.

For all Sarah's protesting Nicole knew her mum loved all this. And, if she was honest, so did she. Things had been so much better since she'd come home. There'd even been a couple of times when it had been a mother-daughter tag team. Most mothers took their daughters shopping for clothes, shoes and bags. Sarah took her daughter to round up an infestation of bug-like creatures whose diet wasn't the normal wood and plaster that most termites liked, but actual bricks and mortar.

"That company you sent Mum to," Rani asked, "what are they like?"

"She'll not get past the front door, don't worry," Sarah replied.

"You don't know my Mum."

* * *

  
As they ran for cover, Nicole threw a breathless smile at her mother. "And you want us to miss all this fun?" she joked.

Sarah returned the smile, her hand briefly moving to rest on Nicole's thigh.

They watched the space rhino chasing down someone else, and Sarah realised that he was trying to recapture his prisoner. As they took off after him, Nicole hung back, fishing her mobile phone from her pocket.

"Dad?" she said as he answered. "Think you'd better get down here..."

* * *

  
Nicole took off after her mother and Clyde as they ran towards the sound of screaming. Walking into the church hall they saw the little girl; as soon as they found out that Androvax had taken her mother Nicole's heart went out to her and she crossed the room, putting her arms around the young and frightened girl.

"It's going to be OK," she soothed. "This your cat?"

The girl nodded.

"What's its name?"

"Cat," she said.

"I had a dog when I was your age. He was called K9."

"I don't understand."

"Old joke," Nicole said.

"I'm scared."

"It's OK. Mum's pretty good at dealing with this sort of thing."

"The creature..."

"It's an alien," Nicole said, "and we're going to find it, and your mum, and it'll be OK."

"I'm sure your mum's fine," Clyde said. "He probably just wants her to help him... phone home."

Nicole shot Clyde a weary look and he shrugged.

"The important thing is, you have to trust me, Julie," Sarah said. "You have to trust me to find your mum and to look after you."

"I trust you, Sarah Jane," the girl said.

"Good," she continued, checking her watch. "Then perhaps you could tell me why my scanner has been reading you as not really human?"

Nicole didn't move quick enough. As the other creature seemed to step right out of Julie's body, she felt his scaly hand close around her throat, pulling her smaller body against his.

"Let her go," Sarah ordered.

"Or what?" the creature hissed. "I am the top of the Judoon's most wanted list. I want to stay there."

"Let my daughter go," Sarah repeated, her voice now slightly unsure.

"I need... a hostage," he said, his snake-like tongue slipping out from between his lips.

"Then take me instead."

"No, Mum..." Nicole protested, trying to pull herself free.

"I don't think so," he smiled.

In two fluid movements he tapped Nicole on her head; her eyes flashed briefly and she seemed to fall into a trance. Seconds later the Androvax moved, stepping into her chest. When Nicole's head lifted Sarah could see that what lay behind those eyes was no longer her daughter.

Clyde rushed towards his friend but the Androvax reached out and stunned him before turning towards Sarah.

"Let her go," Sarah said, fumbling in her pocket for the sonic lipstick.

"That... toy won't help," the Androvax hissed, the tongue slipping out from between its host's lips.

"How do you...?"

"I have her memories," he said. "I know this mind, such a troubled mind..."

"Let her go, please," she asked, her voice softening. "If you need a hostage then take me, just... let her go."

"Oh your mind would be so interesting, I know that you travelled among those stars, you have a knowledge and understanding beyond this planet... But this is preferable. Move."

Sarah had no choice and she walked ahead of the creature.


	28. Chapter 28

Peter pulled up next to Sarah's car and climbed out. He glanced around but couldn't see anyone. Retrieving his mobile from his jacket pocket he called Nicole, but the call was abruptly terminated. Sarah's went straight to voicemail so he tried Luke. Finding out where they were he started towards the crash site.

"What's going on?" he asked as Luke rounded a corner, but stopped when the large rhino came into view.

"Identify yourself," Tybo ordered.

"This is my Dad, Peter Dalton," Luke said quickly. "He's here to help."

"Where's Nicole?" Peter asked. "She called me, asked me to come down."

"Dunno, she went off with Mum."

"Who's he?"

"Captain Tybo, Judoon... police squad," Rani explained.

"Androvax did not return," Tybo said, "no trace. You lied."

"No, it wasn't a lie," Luke said quickly.

"It was a mistake, there's a difference," Rani added

"A mistake isn't a crime, even to the Judoon!"

Tybo held out his hand and took the mobile phones from the kids, then turned to Peter. "Yours."

"I just got here," he said, but a glance from Luke made him give it over all the same.

* * *

  
Sarah pulled up outside the house and glanced at the body of her daughter sat beside her. This wasn't supposed to be like this; it should be her. Having the Androvax inside her mind was not a pleasant experience, and the idea that Nicole was going through that was eating away at her.

"Why do you need her?" Sarah asked as they got out.

"Mother," the Androvax hissed, "surely you understand? With this... body as my host you will do as I ask."

"And if you had me instead then it wouldn't matter."

"And the others?" he challenged. "Your husband and son? Oh, wait. Not your son. Adopted, but grown by the Bane?" Androvax laughed. "What a quaint little family. Now inside."

* * *

  
Clyde couldn't bear to look at Peter as he explained what had happened. "He just... stepped inside her," he said, trying to look at Tybo.

"What do you mean, stepped inside her?" Peter asked, his fists clenching.

"Androvax is Veil life form," Tybo said, "can hide inside bodies of other beings."

"And he's inside my daughter?" Peter said. "You didn't think to mention any of this before?"

"Knowledge not relevant," Tybo said.

"When it comes to my family, _everything's_ relevant," he said.

* * *

  
The Androvax was first into the attic. He knew that Sarah would be just behind him, and he knew that she would be thinking of ways to get him out of Nicole's body. _Mothers_, he thought. _Always doing stupid things for their children._

'You've obviously never met mine,' rang Nicole's voice in his mind.

_Still thinking he's the favourite._

It wasn't a question; the Androvax knew her mind, knew her thoughts.

'Not quite,' Nicole replied. 'I don't matter.'

_You are her daughter. You matter._

'You're in my mind and you still don't get it?' Nicole imagined herself laughing at this and was pleased when the sound echoed through her mind. 'Well I feel better for not understanding it myself now.'

_Be quiet!_

'Why? The Jiminy Cricket routine getting on your nerves?' she asked. 'I might be her daughter, but there is nothing Mum wouldn't do to protect the Earth. If you are this all powerful destroyer then she will do whatever it takes to stop you. And so will I.'

"Now what?" Sarah asked.

The Androvax turned on its heels to look at the seemingly blank wall. "Call him," he said.

"Let Nicole go first."

"Call him," he replied, a little more harshly. "While I am in this body, oh the things I can do..."

He closed his eyes and concentrated. In their shared mind he could hear Nicole screaming, and smiled to himself, almost wishing Sarah Jane could hear the torture he was putting her beloved daughter through.

The physical manifestation of his attack was soon obvious though, and Sarah was horrified to see small drops of blood escape from Nicole's nose. Nicole's body shook and while Sarah knew there was still the possibility of it being a ruse, she couldn't take that chance.

"Mr Smith, I need you," she called. "Now stop it!"

Androvax smiled, and without thought wiped away the blood from its face. "I trust we will have no further problems?" he asked as the computer slid out of the wall.

'I wouldn't if I were you,' Nicole's voice sounded in their mind. 'Upsetting Mum is never a good idea.'

Androvax glanced at the woman beside him, and he curled Nicole's mouth up into a smile, knowing exactly what it would do to her.

* * *

  
"Car insufficient for needs," Tybo declared, looking at Peter's open top.

"Mum's is the size of a shoe box, you and Nic have a fondness for sports cars," Luke muttered. "I'm getting a minivan when I turn seventeen."

"Well I didn't think I'd be giving lifts to a... police rhino!" Peter said, gesturing towards Tybo. "Fine, Captain. If you don't want a lift then I'll go myself."

"You don't know where they'll be," Rani said.

"Maybe not, but I think Mr Smith might be able to help. Stay with him, Luke..."

"No, I'm coming with you," he protested.

"He seems to be able to track the Androvax, he might have more luck. I'll go home, see what Mr Smith can tell us."

"Without our mobiles..."

Peter laughed and gently tapped Luke on the cheek. "We survived without mobile phones for a lot longer. It'll be fine."

Luke threw a glance over his shoulder at the retreating Tybo, and nodded. "Be careful."

"You too," Peter replied, getting into his car and driving off.

* * *

  
_Sarah Jane, I am detecting..._

"Ignore it," Androvax ordered.

_But my analysis suggests it's a Veil life form_.

"Mr Smith, is your central processor fully functioning?"

_I believe so._

"If you want it to stay that way you'll do what you're supposed to do and obey me. Got that?"

_I understand, Nicole. However, you will be aware that while I am programmed to accept orders from you, Sarah Jane still holds authority..._

Androvax turned to look at Sarah, and folded its arms. There was still a faint trace of blood on her daughter's face, and while those eyes were now cold and unfriendly, Sarah just couldn't risk it.

"Mr Smith, you will accept any instruction given to you," she said quietly.

"Thank you mother," Androvax replied, turning back to the computer. "Now, maybe we can get started."

* * *

  
Peter was both relieved and nervous to see Sarah's car parked on the driveway. As he moved towards the front door it opened, and Nicole strode out, her face breaking into a grin when she saw him.

"Dad!" she exclaimed, running towards him.

Without thinking he opened his arms to her, hearing Sarah's cry too late. The Androvax tapped him on his head and put him into a trance.

"Now what?" Sarah asked. "You expect me to just walk away from Mr Smith, what you've done?"

"One life is as sacred as a whole planet, yes?" Androvax said as he circled Peter. "The life of your child? Or the life of your... husband?"

"If Mr Smith self destructs the damage he'll cause..."

"And if you go back into that house then the damage _I_ will cause..." Its tongue flicked out between its lips.

"I can't do this," Sarah said. "I won't let you use Nicole against me."

"This... self sacrificing thing is boring," it said. "As is this... body."

To Sarah's relief the Androvax stepped out of Nicole, who promptly collapsed onto the driveway. The relief didn't last long though, as it obviously had a new host in mind, and with Peter subdued there was no one to stop him.

"There," he said, holding out the hands of his new body. "Am I not generous? You have your child back."

"Mum...?" Nicole said as she struggled to sit up. She looked up in horror as she realised what had happened, and quickly got to her feet, trying to ignore the fact that her head was swimming. "Let him go."

"I think not," Androvax said, gently tapping Nicole on the head. "Now, you have a choice," he said. "Come with me, or..."

"Or what?" she asked.

Androvax merely smiled at her.

* * *

  
"Dad's car isn't here," Luke said as they pulled up outside the house.

"Maybe he's out looking," Rani suggested.

Tybo consulted his scanner before declaring, "No Androvax. Must keep looking."

"It's found something though," Luke said.

"Trace of trans body fusion energy."

"You mean it's in someone else now?" Clyde asked.

Luke didn't wait for an answer, he just ran into the house calling for his mum and sister. Taking the stairs two at a time he walked into the attic.

* * *

  
Last time the Androvax had been able to read her mind to find out about the nanobots. This time it read Peter's, questioning her on what she'd been researching for her story. So once again Sarah found herself at the research facility, following Peter... no, following the Androvax as it marched into reception.

"Where now?" it asked.

"No," Sarah said defiantly, folding her arms. "You want to know, you let him go."

"You saw what I can do..."

"If you go ahead with your plan you'll destroy this planet. I know my husband, Androvax. I know he would give his life to stop you."

Androvax sighed as Peter's own mind confirmed what she said was true. "What do you want?"

"I want you to let him go," she said.

"It is a trick."

"No trick," she said quietly. Swallowing hard she moved closer to him. "Take me instead."

Inside Peter's mind, Androvax could hear his protests, but it only prompted laughter from the Veil. "Agreed," he said, lifting his arm.

* * *

  
_Oh now this is interesting,_ the Androvax thought as they moved through the now-familiar corridors. _You understand my aim. Why is that, Sarah Jane?_

'I know your kind,' Sarah replied, making sure sections of her mind remained locked down.

_Your daughter and husband, their minds are so full of chaos and confusion. Nicole..._

'You do not even mention her name, do you understand me?'

Internally, the Androvax laughed. _If you want I can share her thoughts with you. Maybe then you would understand your daughter a little better._

'I understand her just fine.'

_Really?_ it challenged. _Yet there are things that she and your husband keep from you. Interesting..._

Before Sarah could challenge it, the Androvax's attention was diverted when they entered the lab.

* * *

  
Luke called for Mr Smith the second he was in the attic, and the computer revealed itself with its warning sirens.

"Nic!" Rani said, noticing Nicole slumped on the chaise longue. "Oh thank god," she muttered as Nicole came 'round, her face scrunching up in protest to the noise.

"Where's Dad?"

"Bigger problems right now," Rani said, helping Nicole to her feet.

_Nicole has instructed my self-detonation protocol to initiate on activation. I will explode in sixty seconds_.

"That wasn't me," Nicole protested. "Stop it, shut it down, Mr Smith!"

_I cannot cancel the order._

"If I gave it then I can stop it!" Nicole said.

_That was not your full order, Nicole._

As the memory flooded back, Nicole's hand flew to her mouth. "I said that only Mum could stop it."

_You have thirty two seconds..._

Nicole's head swam as she tried to process what the Androvax had done to her. She felt like he was still in her head, poking at her memories and thoughts, exploring them for himself. Like someone had read her diary. The final thing she remembered before being stunned again was her father's face. Cold, hard, no trace of love or compassion. She felt like her only ally in the family was gone and she didn't know if she would get him back.


	29. Chapter 29

Sarah focussed on keeping the Androvax out of certain parts of her mind while he gave the orders to Mr Yorke to activate the nanoforms. Every so often her mind darted back to Peter, left in the foyer, and she tried to remember if he would be safe there. She knew Luke would have talked Mr Smith out of blowing up, and Nicole was safe at home.

_Ah yes, the lost girl_, the Androvax thought when he sensed Sarah's mind turn to her daughter.

'So you keep saying,' she replied, 'but you don't make much sense.'

_I have seen into her mind, so lost, so confused. That poor girl..._

'You don't know what you're talking about.'

_Ah but I do. I have seen her mind, Sarah Jane, something you cannot. I may be convinced to... share some insights with you, if you were to ask._

'Never,' Sarah replied defiantly. Mentally she retreated, focussing on simple things to keep him out.

_I know you are hiding from me_, his voice rasped in her mind. _I can feel it. I can see you dream, Sarah Jane._

She didn't respond; she couldn't let on that he was close. Instead she ran over numbers, the alphabet, and random memories that wouldn't entice his focus back inwards. This time she just needed to sit back and wait for Luke and the others to come.

* * *

The surge of pride that she felt when Androvax saw Tybo and the kids on the security monitor earned her a sneer of contempt.

'They won't be put off,' Sarah thought, watching as the four humans and one Judoon began to move away from the police car.

_I still have plenty of tricks up my sleeve._ He looked at the screen again, this time paying attention to Nicole. _She is strong, I will give you that._

'She's my daughter,' Sarah replied.

_Which makes her your weakness._

'You really need to find out more about motherhood then. I fight for them.'

_Do they fight for you?_

'Yes.'

_ Then they will die for you._

_

* * *

_  
"Dad!" Nicole exclaimed as they entered the foyer. He was still in his trance state, but seemed to respond when she grabbed his arm. "We can't just leave him here."

"Unimportant," Tybo declared after scanning him and determining he was no longer inhabited by anyone. "Must detain Androvax."

"Go with him," Nicole said to Luke. "Find Mum."

"If he's not in Dad anymore..." Luke said, meeting Nicole's gaze.

"Then you'd better make sure he doesn't shoot Mum," she replied. "Go, I'll stay here with Dad."

It seemed to take an age before he came around, blinking heavily before rubbing his eyes. "Nic?" he said.

"Oh am I glad to see you," she exclaimed in relief, throwing her arms around him.

"Sarah..." he said, pulling back. "The Androvax..."

"What is going on?" Nicole asked.

"Come on," he said, heading off towards the lab he'd seen in Androvax's thoughts.

* * *

Peter and Nicole slipped into the lab in time to hear Androvax declaring that Sarah should have taken up knitting.

"The nanoforms have completed my ship," he hissed, turning to leave..

"Mum..." Nicole began, but Peter grabbed her arm and pulled her out of sight.

"You need to leave, now."

"I'm not going without Mum."

"And I'm not putting you in any danger," he said, pulling her in close and kissing the top of her head. "Got find Clyde and Rani and get out of here. I'll go after them."

"Dad..."

"It's not up for debate, Nicole Grace, now go!"

Knowing that she could stay and argue her point, but it would be useless, she turned and ran back the way that they'd come.

To begin with she just followed her instinct but she soon heard the sound of gas. Rounding the corner she saw a swarm of nanoforms attacking a door, but through the hole they had already created came bursts of CO2. Nicole grabbed the canister nearest to her and supplied her own coolant from the other side of the door.

"Clyde? Rani?" she called.

"Nic! Oh am I glad to hear your voice," Rani said. "Where's Luke and Peter?"

"Gone after Mum," she replied.

"My parents are in the building too," Rani admitted.

"Oh that's just what we need," Nicole muttered, dosing the nanoforms in one last blast. "Freeze," she said quietly, smiling to herself. "Is there another way out of there? I wouldn't like to trust these just yet."

"There's a door back here," Clyde called out. "We'll loop 'round and meet up with you."

"Good," Nicole said. "I've got a plan."

* * *

"She knows everything about you, just like you know everything about her," Luke said.

_Oh, but not quite, Sarah Jane_, the Androvax said. _You have been hiding your secrets. Did you think I wouldn't know? Did you think I wouldn't see them?_

'I...'

_The woman who changed time? Who are you to lecture me on what I do!_

'What I did was different,' Sarah challenged.

_Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night? You control the lives of these people because of what you know, and you tell yourself that you're doing it to protect them. Well I control you, Sarah Jane. With my thoughts and actions your body does as I tell it and you call me a monster. Yet with your actions..._

'I am not a monster!' Sarah yelled back. 'I did what I did out of love, not vengeance or anger or jealousy.'

_Tell that to your daughter. The girl who should not be..._

_

* * *

_  
Peter found his way to the spaceship, but couldn't see a way in.

"This is not my field of expertise," he muttered, running his hands along the panels, searching for an access panel of some kind.

"Dad!"

Peter turned around, not happy at seeing her but also not surprised that she'd ignored him.

"We need to get in there," Clyde panted. "The Judoon... they're coming."

"Great," Peter muttered. He put his hand on a panel he'd not tried, and the door slid open.

"Yes!" Nicole said, leading the dash inside.

"Not as bad as I thought I was," Peter said to himself, feeling rather proud until he heard Luke say something about knowing where the door controls were.

"Oh how touching, a family reunion," the Androvax said.

"You can't take it anywhere without this, the ionic fusion bar," Luke said, holding it aloft.

"Give it to me!"

"You can have it, Androvax, but you have to come and get it – not my Mum."

"Let her go," Peter said, moving towards the Androvax. "We won't stop you, just... let her go."

The Androvax looked around and smiled as its gaze rested on Nicole. "The girl who isn't, how nice to see you again."

"Let her go," Nicole said.

"No wonder Sarah Jane is so proud of you all," it hissed. "Makes me want to be sick."

For a second it seemed like Sarah's face changed to one with scales and horns, but then they parted as the Androvax stepped out of Sarah's body. Her legs started to give way, but Peter was by her side in an instant, his arm protectively around her waist to both steady her and keep her close.

The Androvax crossed the ship to grab the fusion bar from Luke, but he held it to ransom; "The nanoforms," he said, threatening to smash it.

"Give it to me," Nicole said, holding out her hand. "If the Judoon get in here before this one stops them..." Luke hesitated so she snatched it from his hand. "The door, Luke!" she ordered.

"Lost little girl," Androvax purred, his tongue snaking out. "Trying to prove that she is worthy."

"That door won't hold them for long," Luke said.

"Long enough for you to disable the nanoforms," Nicole said.

"The Judoon won't let me leave," Androvax said, "so what incentive is there?"

"Fine," Nicole said, letting the fusion rod slip from her fingers. She deftly caught it seconds later, enjoying the look of horror on the creature's face. "We will stop the nanoforms, with or without your help," she said pointedly. "My brother is a bit of a genius when it comes to computers."

Behind the Androvax, Luke picked up on Nicole's message and immediately turned to the console.

"What do you care if this world is destroyed?" Androvax said to Nicole. "The way you feel..."

"On that note, I've been meaning to thank you."

"What?"

"While you were poking around in my head, I got a good look in yours. Whatever I may be thinking or feeling, at least I have something you don't. I have my family, I have my friends. I've got a stupid birthday party tomorrow and I'm pretty sure Mum's done one of her cakes because she won't let me go anywhere near the cupboards. I have my own business, I have a life."

"For what it's worth," Androvax purred. "The girl who's worth nothing."

"I'm worth a lot," she smiled as behind him she noticed Luke giving her a thumbs up. "Especially when I kept you distracted."

"What?" the Androvax said, turning on his heels in time to see Luke activate his program.

Outside the nanoforms stopped their attack and everything was still. The only sound was the door opening and the sound of Judoon boots thundering into the ship.

* * *

There was a soft tapping on her door, and Nicole looked up to see her mother sticking her head around the door.

"Happy birthday," she said.

"How long have you been stood out there, waiting for midnight?" Nicole laughed.

"Five minutes," she admitted, coming into the room.

Nicole pulled down the screen of her laptop, turning on her chair so she was facing out into the room. Sarah came in and placed the mug of hot chocolate on the desk before hooking a finger under her daughter's chin and tilting her face up. She kissed her on the forehead and then perched on the edge of the desk.

"You were great today," Sarah said.

"So was Luke."

"Doesn't stop you being brilliant too."

Nicole shrugged, pulling her feet up onto the chair.

"Don't tell your dad," Sarah said, pulling a small box out of her pocket and placing it on the desk.

"What's this?"

"Well it is your birthday..."

Nicole picked up the small box and lifted the lid to reveal a small ring. "OK," she said, looking up at her mother in confusion.

"It belonged to my mother," she admitted. "Aunt Lavinia gave it to me when I got married, now it's yours."

"I can't take this..." Nicole said, hastily putting the lid back on and offering it up.

"Yes, you can."

"So. Now that you've done the excuse thing, why are you here?"

"You are far too like me sometimes," Sarah laughed. She held out her hand and led Nicole over to the bed where they sat. "So the Androvax said a few things..."

"Mum..."

"Nic, please. If there is something wrong..."

"Hey," Nicole said, putting her hands over her mother's. "So here's the deal. I'm fine. Really."

"The Androvax..."

"Used me against you, used Dad against you, and then used you against us all. It was like a really bad game of musical bodies. Do you really think he wasn't going to try and wind you up?"

"No, something's not right," she said. "When you... left..."

"I thought we were past that."

"Not if the issue is still there. I..." Sarah sighed and looked up at the young woman sat in front of her. "I don't care how old you get I will always want to protect you, OK? Even if that's just protecting you from bad thoughts."

"I am OK, Mum," Nicole smiled, "I promise you."

"He said something about you trying to prove you were worthy?" Sarah said, gently brushing Nicole's hair from her face.

"Oh don't you dare get sentimental on me," Nicole laughed.

"Can't help it. I love you, Nic."

"I love you too, Mum," Nicole said. "OK, so now you can do the hug thing."

"Oh, thanks," Sarah quipped, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around Nicole. "Happy birthday, little one."

"Yeah, you gotta stop with the nickname."

"Not a chance."

"Once a year."

"Week."

"Month," Nicole countered.

"Fortnight."

"Deal."

"This one doesn't count," Sarah said, pulling back.

Nicole sighed. "Fine. Birthday freebie."

"You sure everything's OK?"

"Mum, I promise. Everything's fine. It's nothing I can't deal with."

"So there's something to deal with?"

Nicole pushed up onto her knees so she could kiss her mother's forehead and climbed off the bed without saying another word. She went back to her desk and opened her laptop, signalling the end of the conversation.

"Don't stay up too late," Sarah said, "your Dad's got breakfast all planned."

"I bet he has. Mum?" Nicole called after her as she began to leave. "Thank you. For the ring."

"Happy birthday, love."

"And I'm fine. Really."

Sarah smiled and nodded, closing the door behind her as she left.


	30. Chapter 30

Life on Bannerman Road was good for a while, but there was a day that Sarah was dreading. She was paranoid on the date she remembered from the headstone, the date Peter originally had his accident, but it passed – the only incident being that she drove Peter insane by checking up on him every five minutes. After that it was only a matter of time before the wedding day came around.

She was on edge, wondering if it was all about to come crashing down around her ears but there was no Trickster, no Doctor, no waking up from a dream. It was almost unnerving.

"So what's the story?" Nicole asked, putting the mug of tea down on the desk.

"What?" Sarah asked.

Nicole glanced over her mother's shoulder at the screen and frowned. "Mum, you've written three lines. And you've misspelled absenteeism."

Sarah removed her reading glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose where they;d sat. "My mind's elsewhere," she admitted, closing down the screen without bothering to save what she'd done, knowing it was sub-standard.

"I don't know why you bother with the journalism thing," Nicole said, curling up on the chaise longue with her own mug of tea. "Not as if you need the money."

"Useful cover though," Sarah pointed out as she picked up her drink.

"You've been distracted all day."

"So you're the elected representative to talk to me about it?"

"I volunteered," Nicole replied.

"Right. Well, at least you're honest."

"Your turn."

"About what?"

"Mum, something's wrong. You know it, I know it. Hell, Dad knows it and he's worried about you. And if I don't go downstairs with an answer then I bet you Dad'll be up here and he won't let you fob him off. At least I'm giving you the chance."

"When did you take on the role of mum?" Sarah asked, her eyes narrowing.

"You taught me far too well."

"Nic..."

"You never let me get away with not telling you stuff."

"Well, you do still owe me an explanation," Sarah pointed out.

"This isn't about me," Nicole replied with a smile. "Please, Mum."

"Shift over," she said, getting up from the desk and sitting next to her. "You know what? You're one of the best things that ever happened to me. All the things I've seen, all the things I've done? Having you beats that; every time."

"Slightly less life-threatening, though?"

"Don't you believe it," Sarah laughed, putting an arm around Nicole. "Times you nearly gave me heart attacks? I could tell you... oh, twenty of them before your fifth birthday?"

"That much of a handful was I?"

"You know those 'termites' we dealt with? They've got nothing on you."

"Oh thanks!"

"Got nothing on how you make me feel either." She pulled Nicole back so her head was tucked under her chin before kissing the top of her head. "I never imagined how powerful the love you feel for your child actually is. From the second that positive test result was staring back at me I have loved you.

"And you scared the hell out of me several times before you got here!" she laughed. "First time I felt you move I didn't know what was going on and I thought I was losing you. But you hung in there. Whatever it was that... Here you are."

"You're avoiding the issue," Nicole said.

"Actually I'm not."

"What?"

"You. Me. This family. I thought I knew what I wanted out of life, I had this dream..."

Nicole sat up quickly and looked at her mother in horror. "Aren't you happy?"

"What? Oh, Nic, no... sweetheart it's not that... I love my life. I love my family. This is more than I hoped for, I promise you that." Sarah pulled Nicole back down and stroked her hair. "This reminds me of when you were little and you'd had a nightmare."

"I remember," Nicole said. "I'd climb in with you and Dad."

"Climb in the middle more like," Sarah laughed. "Your dad would roll over, bump into you, and you'd have a right go at him."

"He crushed me!"

The pair of them laughed for a moment at the memory before lapsing into silence.

"Just... promise me there's nothing wrong," Nicole said. "Dad's got his own worries, mine are more... health centred."

"I'm fine, perfectly healthy," she assured her daughter. "Ask Mr Smith if you don't believe me."

"Yes, because you couldn't have told him to lie," she pointed out.

"Well I promise you. And what's your dad worried about?"

"Talk to him and find out."

"I will."

"Tonight?"

"Nic..."

"Tonight."

Sarah sighed gently. "Fine. Tonight."

"I love you."

"Pretty fond of you too, little one."

"Mum!"

"I don't care if you hate it. I don't care if it drives you nuts. You will always be my little girl."

"Worse things I guess," Nicole admitted. "I'll get Dad..."

"In a minute, yeah?" Sarah asked. "Kinda like this."

"Yeah, me too."

So mother and daughter sat in silence, Sarah stroking Nicole's hair and wondering how exactly she was going to have the conversation she'd been dreading for thirty years.

* * *

Nicole finally appeared downstairs, walking into the living room and trailing her hand over Luke's shoulder.

"You OK, love?" Peter asked.

"Fine," she said. "Mum wants to see you."

"Everything OK?"

"Sure it's fine."

"Right. Best not keep her waiting," he quipped.

After he'd gone, Nicole went and sat next to Luke.

"Are things OK?" Luke asked.

"Dunno," she admitted.

* * *

Sarah was waiting for him on the landing, outside their bedroom. She held out her hand to him and led him up to the attic. "You remember the letter I gave you?"

It took a moment for him to remember and he nodded.

"Can you get it back?"

"Mr Smith," Peter said, "I need you to return the letter."

_Of course,_ Mr Smith said, returning the envelope to him.

Sarah took his hand again and led him the chaise longue where they sat down. She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves.

"If you're trying to put me at ease you're not doing a very good job," Peter said. "Do I get to open this now?"

"Not yet. I... oh, this is so hard. Thirty years and I still don't know how to tell you this."

"Thirty...? Sarah, you're making no sense."

"This probably won't," she said, "but I need you to just listen to me. I'm going to mess this up, I know I will."

"OK. Just... take your time. Whatever it is, just... Tell me."

"You remember a few weeks ago I was..."

"Insane?" he quipped. "Checking up on me every five minutes?"

"Yeah. Well there was a reason for that. I... When the Trickster took me out of time a few years back, everything changed but it was still our timeline. Not a parallel world, but ours. Just... slightly different, remember?"

"Yeah..."

"Well... I changed time."

"What?" he said with a half laugh.

"I changed time. I ended up back in my past and... I changed things."

"How? What...?"

"I don't really understand how, but the what..." She hurriedly wiped away the tears that were threatening to spill over. "You died, Peter. You had an accident and you died."

"And you changed that?"

"And then some. See... I went back thirty years, Peter. To 1981. I went back and woke up in the B&B in Aberdeen, the day after the Doctor left me behind. But I still remembered everything, and so I could change things."

"Change what?" he asked quietly.

"You and I never met originally. Well, not until much later. This year in fact. We met, we fell in love, and we were going to get married. Today was our wedding day."

"But you said I died..."

"You did," she said quietly. "You had an accident and... you were dying. Then the Trickster came to you and he kept you alive... for me. Our wedding was part of his plan but we stopped him. You stopped him."

Peter didn't have to ask how; he knew how the Trickster worked, if he'd made a deal to stay alive...

"And I lost you. I loved you and I lost you and that _hurt_... All I wanted was some more time with you, one more chance to see you..." Sarah lifted her hand to his cheek and smiled. "And I got it," she whispered. "I don't know why and I'm not even sure how, but I got it. I woke up in 1981 and I remembered you, where you used to work, and I found you in that bar... And now I have this amazing life and beautiful family..."

"Thirty years..." Peter said quietly. "You remembered everything?"

She nodded.

Peter put his hand over hers and removed it from his face. "For the last thirty years... You knew everything?"

"It's not like that," she said quickly. "When things changed with you and me everything changed around it. Before I didn't have you and Nicole..."

"But you had Luke?" he asked.

She nodded.

"So you knew you'd find him that day? And the Daleks..." he said, the pieces falling into place, "you were so sure that everything would be OK and now I know why. You knew because... it had already happened."

Sarah sat in silence for a moment, watching him try and take it all in.

"You told me before that the Universe protects itself, that you can't just... change things," he said. "This can't happen."

"Open the envelope," she said.

He slipped a finger under the seal, tearing it open. The paper held only a few lines.

_I went back in time from 2010 to 1981. I changed something – I changed us.  
Mrs Wormwood has just come back, so the next thing is Androvax. He's a Veil life form and he'll take over my body so he can get some nanoforms to build him a spaceship._

"Do you remember when I gave you that?" she asked.

"Nic had just run away," he replied, getting to his feet, "after Mrs Wormwood..."

"I needed you to have something that would prove I was telling the truth."

"Prove that you knew about _everything_ this family have been through?"

"Knowing about it meant that I could plan. Prepare. I knew how to save..."

"Don't," he cut her off, turning away.

"Peter..." Sarah got to her feet and walked over to him. "I knew what was coming, but if I changed too much then... I did what I could to make sure you were all OK."

"Well you failed," he said harshly, turning to face her. In his hand he screwed up the letter into a ball and threw it aside. "All this time I was telling her that it meant nothing, that it was just... one of those things."

"Telling who what?"

"Nicole," he snapped. "She didn't exist before, did she?"

"No..."

"A whole new person? No wonder the Trickster said what he did."

"What? Peter..."

"When you two were taken out of time, as you put it, he told her she was nothing, that she shouldn't exist. He told our daughter that she was nothing and since then she has felt like she was... unimportant, that she doesn't matter. Since then she has really struggled. Mrs Wormwood made her feel like she was the most important person in the Universe, like she could do something.

"And you knew he would come, you knew he would take you out of time... What? You never once thought about what would happen to her? He can see time and space and he could see it."

"I know," she admitted. "When he... He said he could see how I'd bent time..."

"So you _knew_?" Peter challenged. "You knew he could see what you did and you didn't think to talk to your daughter about this? Your daughter who apparently should not exist."

"Don't say that."

"Why not? It's the truth. Nicole shouldn't exist and I should be dead. But you played god with time and here we all, the supposed happy family."

"Supposed?" Sarah whispered.

"You tell me, Sarah, how are supposed to be happy after this? You lied to me..."

"I wanted to protect you! I love you..."

"So much so that you've, what? Controlled everything since the day we met?"

The venom in his voice shocked her – it was something she'd never heard before.

"I'm not hearing this," he said, heading for the door.

On instinct Sarah pulled the sonic lipstick from her pocket and aimed it at the handle, locking it into place.

"Oh, so now you're controlling where I can go?" he asked, turning around to face her. "Fine. You're telling your secrets? Well here's one of mine. Nicole moved back home because I convinced her. And it took some convincing, let me tell you. After being told you're nothing the last place you really want to be is surrounded by people who apparently matter but you don't. And whose fault was it she was in that place to begin with?

"Yours," he spat. "And she hated you for that. She really hated you. Because of you she was in that... nowhere place and she was told that she shouldn't exist. She wanted to run and never come back, so when she finally did run I wasn't that surprised if I'm honest. I have been _so_ proud of her, how she's tried to put it behind her and move on but I still see it. When she looks at you, for a second there's this... look. This fleeting second when she's scared.

"And she's not scared of being insignificant or unimportant. She's scared of you, Sarah. Your precious daughter, the one who's here because you changed time, the one who shouldn't exist, is terrified of you."

The tears that had been welling up in Sarah's eyes spilled over as the bottom fell out of her world.


	31. Chapter 31

She was aware he was watching her, but neither of them said anything. She was busy trying to process everything he'd told her. In a weird way it made sense; there had been something very wrong with Nicole for a while, and there were a number of times...

"Oh god," Sarah muttered under her breath.

"You can't expect to play god with people's lives and for everything to be fine, Sarah," Peter said, his voice still harsh but without the venom from before. "Of all the things you've dropped on me... I can't deal with this. This is too big."

Sarah didn't reply. She moved to the door, freeing the lock quickly before pulling the door open. In the back of her mind she was aware of Peter calling after her but she ignored him as she raced down the stairs, stopping only when she reached the living room.

Nicole had decided to wait up, see if everything was going to be alright.

"Mum?" she asked when she saw her. "Mum, have you been crying?" Nicole dropped the book she'd been flicking through on the table and got to her feet. "Mum?"

"You are _not_ nothing, you are _not_ insignificant," Sarah said, taking Nicole's hands in her own. "This is all my fault."

"Dad told you," Nicole said quietly.

"I am so, so sorry, Nic..."

Sarah burst into tears right about the same time as Nicole did. She pulled her into a hug, holding on tightly. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

For a few moments they held onto each other, sobbing into the other's shoulder.

"I can't believe Dad told you," Nicole eventually muttered.

"I wish _you'd_ told me."

"How could I?"

"Because then I could have explained," Sarah said, leading Nicole back to the sofa. "The Trickster said what he said because... Because I went back in time and I changed things."

"What?"

"This is a different timeline," she began. "I... I've been here before, in this time, this year. And things were very different. For one, I wasn't married. Well..." she smiled. "I'd just met this man. We fell in love and we were going to get married, but on our wedding day the Trickster... It was a trap; turned out the man I was going to marry had been in an accident a few months before, he should have died. The Trickster made a deal with him – his life in return for marrying me. If he did then I would be under the Trickster's control and I'd stop defending Earth. But he saved us, all of us, by withdrawing his agreement.

"And it was hard, losing him. He and I were meant for each other, the perfect match. Even though the Trickster brought us together, we really were in love. So when he..." She stopped, unable to say the word. "I tried to carry on with my life, grieve and move on, but it was so hard. I spent nights sobbing myself to sleep, I had nightmares... I just wanted him back."

"Dad," Nicole said.

"Yeah, your dad. Everyone was safe but I was still on my own. I still loved him, still missed him, still grieved for him. All I wanted was to see him once more, spend some time with him. I went to sleep here, in this house, and woke up in 1981, knowing everything..."

Nicole thought about this for a moment, then nodded. "So you met Dad then? In 1981? And created this timeline?"

"Yeah," Sarah breathed. "The Trickster saw that. He knew that I had bent time, changed things. He could see that before, in the original timeline? You didn't exist."  
"But how can I exist? I mean, you keep saying that the Universe protects itself... This whole other person who didn't exist before...? How does that work? I mean, did I take the place of someone else? Was I someone else's daughter before?"

"I have no idea," Sarah admitted, "but I don't want you thinking like that, OK? You are _my_ daughter and I love you."

"Yeah, I know that," Nicole said, settling against her mother's shoulder.

"I'm so, so sorry," Sarah whispered, her hand running down Nicole's hair.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I changed things..."

"You changed it for us, Mum. You saved Dad's life!"

"It wasn't meant to be that way."

"Says who? Mum, you went back in time. You. Not the Doctor, not the Trickster, you. And you said you knew everything? You remembered? You made those choices... I don't think it was a change, it was something new. You _made_ the timeline, Mum, you didn't change it."

Sarah gave a soft laugh.

"What?" Nicole asked.

"A very dear friend said something similar to me once. On my wedding day actually."

"Which one?"

Nicole's quip prompted an even bigger laugh and Sarah pressed a heartfelt kiss to the top of her daughter's head. "I have spent thirty years waiting... terrified of what might happen to you and your dad. I knew everything about Luke, Clyde, Rani and Maria. The Doctor and the Slitheen, Sontarans and even the Daleks. But you? I had no idea what would happen to you and that _terrified_ me."

"No wonder you didn't want me anywhere near all this," Nicole muttered.

"That? Good old fashioned motherly concern."

Nicole sat up to look at Sarah. "But Luke..." she began, then realised. "You went through all this before."

Sarah nodded.

"I thought I... I thought I didn't matter. Not to all this."

"You are the most important thing in my life," Sarah assured her, holding Nicole's jaw in her hands. "You matter... in everything. You are everything."

"More than Dad and Luke?" Nicole teased.

"Oh don't," Sarah laughed. "You know exactly what I mean. And you must know that I would do anything for you."

"You already have," Nicole said. "You changed _everything_ for me. For me and Dad. He's here and I'm here..."

"And you went through hell because of me. If I could..."

"I'm OK, Mum. Really. This... it all makes sense. It saw the change, that's it. It saw what was and what is and... it messed with my head," she declared. "Chaos, right?"

"Something like that," Sarah sighed.

"What about Dad?"

"I... don't know."

"He didn't like it, did he?" Nicole rolled her eyes when her mother dropped hers. "What? He'd prefer to be dead?"

"Don't you dare," Sarah said, grabbing Nicole's hand when she stood up. Pulling her back down onto the sofa she added, "It's more complicated than that."

"I don't see how."

"Please, Nic. Just leave it."

"What? Leave you guys to fall apart over this? You have made it through everything..."

"We'll be fine, little one. I promise."

"When you're down here with me and Dad's..."

"Just give him some time. It's a lot to get his head around."

"Yeah," Nicole breathed. Then after a moment she added, "I need a drink."

* * *

She returned with two glasses of wine and they sat either end of the sofa, feet up on the cushion in the middle, and Nicole asked about her mother's past; both of them. In return Sarah listened while Nicole spilled her heart, her self-doubt and confusion, her initial resentment of Luke for seemingly becoming her mother's favourite.

"It wasn't your fault," Nicole told her. "It would seem I'm more a Smith woman than a Dalton one. Headstrong and passionate... and private. You had your secrets, Mum, I had mine. Aunt Lavinia had a fair few I'm sure."

"Probably," Sarah laughed, putting down her empty glass on the table.

"You can't hold yourself responsible. You've said it yourself, I've been doing my own thing for years now."

"Doesn't stop me though. That's what happens when you're a mum."

"I look forward to finding out."

Sarah's heart stuck in her throat. "You're...?"

"Oh god, no!" Nicole laughed.

Sarah tilted to head to one side. "Not sure how I like the idea of being a grandmother. Not yet anyway."

"Well we'll hold off," Nicole said, then caught her mistake.

"We?" Sarah asked. "You're not talking about you or Luke having kids, are you?"

"It's early days," Nicole said, "so no, I'm not bringing him home just yet. Let me... make sure first, OK?"

"But you're happy?" Sarah asked, and was answered by the smile on her daughter's face. "Then that's all I want."

"He's a good man, Mum. Trustworthy."

The hidden request didn't pass her by, and she pressed her lips together. "I don't know, sweetheart. It depends..."

"On what?" Nicole asked.

"On whether or not I'm still doing this."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Because..."

Nicole was draining the last of her wine when she stopped dead. Letting the last of it fall back into the bottom of the glass she stared at her mother. "You'd give it up for him?"

"I'd give everything up for him," she admitted quietly.

"Mum, you save the world! You saved Dad and in my book that means he owes you."

"I wish it were that simple," Sarah smiled.

"It can be."

"It's not up to me though, is it?"

"Don't let him push you into anything," Nicole said, finally draining the last of her wine. She swung her feet off the sofa and stood up. "I'm going to go check on Luke," she said, walking out of the room.

"What...?" Sarah began, turning around but stopping when she saw Peter standing in the doorway.

He said nothing, did nothing. The only sounds in the house were Nicole's footsteps on the stairs, and then the closing of a bedroom door.


	32. Chapter 32

"Peter..." Sarah began, getting to her feet. "I had to," was all she could think to say.

He didn't say anything.

"I..." she began, but stopped as he moved towards her.

One hand slipped around her waist while the other cupped at the back of her neck, pulling her body in flush against his while their mouths met. Her thoughts swam but were pushed aside in the confirmation that he still wanted her, still loved her.

There was still hope.

He pulled her up against him and her arms locked around his neck while his hands moved to the small of her back, applying enough pressure to support her.

"I'm sorry," he breathed when their lips parted, but their bodies remained close.

"For what?"

"How I reacted."

"It's fine, it's fine."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Yeah, that's obvious given everything," he laughed softly, finally setting her down.

"I just... missed you _so_ much." She rested her head against his chest, breathing in his now-familiar scent. "I didn't plan any of it..."

"I know, I know," he soothed, kissing the top of her head. "You never told me your name. In the pub that day. You didn't tell me your name."

"I thought that I had that one chance, and I'd have been happy with that. I couldn't risk changing things too much..."

"I found you."

"Yeah."

"If anyone changed anything then it's me," he whispered.

"Peter..."

"If I'd not come looking for you then what? It would have been as before?"

Sarah shrugged.

"You and me, alone. And then me dead," he added almost flippantly.

"Oh don't," Sarah breathed, reaching out with her hand, her fingertips brushing against his mouth.

"Instead I'm here, with you. I have a beautiful daughter, an amazing son... And a brilliant wife." When she looked up at him he couldn't help but smile. "Come on."

Grabbing her hand he led her outside and into the middle of the street.

"Peter..."

"You know, I used to look up there and wonder where you went," he said, lifting his head so he was looking at the stars. "There was a bit of me that was slightly jealous. OK, so maybe more than slightly. But you'd been places and seen things that I couldn't imagine and there was always this thought in the back of my mind... Was I enough to keep you here? How could a life on Earth with a normal husband and a... relatively normal family compete?

"Then there's this. You. What you did for me. I'm enough."

Sarah couldn't help but grin and she gently stroked his face. "I love you."

"You changed the world for me," he said, remembering what she used to say to him.

"I'd change everything for you."

"Including giving it all up?" he asked. "I heard what you said."

"How long were you listening?"

"...From the start," he admitted. "I followed you. Heard everything you said to Nic."

"Right."

"Sarah, you walked out on me to go and speak to our daughter..."

"She was more important," Sarah said defensively.

"Yes she was," he agreed, taking the force out of her argument. "Right then she was more important to you and... you left. Even though our marriage was on the verge of falling apart."

"Is it?"

"In that moment... yeah, I think it was. But then I heard you talking to the most important person in our lives and... it made sense. Besides, she let you explain. I just attacked you."

"You were angry."

"I just hated the idea that you and me... Like our whole life together was controlled, planned..."

"If I'd planned it, if I had any control, do you think I'd have let most of that stuff happen?"

"Why did you?" he asked. "You knew what was coming and you let it all happen. Slitheen and..."

"I couldn't change everything," she said. "The Universe protects itself..."

"But I'm still here," he pointed out.

"I don't know," she sighed. "But I wasn't pushing it."

"So... tell me what the Doctor said."

"What?"

"He's a Time Lord, yes? So he knows about time and timelines and changes..."

"Nothing."

"What?"

"He said nothing," Sarah said.

"Right. That's..."

"Weird," she finished. "Yeah."

"But the Trickster knew?"

"Yeah. The only explanation I can think of is that the Trickster comes from outside our universe. The Doctor, he's a part of ours, of this one."

"So what? Anyone inside our universe doesn't know?" he asked.

"I don't know," she sighed. "Gave up trying to work it out over twenty years ago."

"Why?"

"Because I had a baby to look after," she quipped. "Because I had the kind of life I felt like I missed out on first time around. Not that I hated what I was before, but now... Peter, you gave me the chance to have an _amazing_ life."

"Better than the one you had up there?" he asked, pointing a finger skywards.

"Infinitely," she smiled before kissing him gently. "Are we OK?"

"We'll get there," he said.

"Good. Now can we go back inside before we freeze?"

* * *

"Our parents are nuts," Nicole muttered, turning away from the window. "You OK, kid?"

Luke was still staring at the ceiling; he'd barely moved since she'd slipped into his room and brought him up to speed.

"Lot to take in," she said, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed. "You planning on saying something any time soon?"

"Don't know what to say," Luke said.

"Hey, it'll be OK, kid..."

"Don't call me that!" he snapped, sitting bolt upright. "I'm not a kid."

"No. Sorry, of course not. I just... Sorry."

"So am I," he sighed. "Why didn't she tell me herself?"

"She only told us tonight. Maybe you're next? But her and Dad, they've got a lot to sort out. He's not taking this very well."

"Neither are you," Luke observed. "I can see it."

"It's a lot to take in," she repeated.

"Nic..."

"I'm OK. I'm OK. It's just them I'm worried about. But they'll be fine."

"You can't know that."

"I have to," Nicole said. "I mean, I can't imagine them not being together."

"Clyde said that when his parents split up, it was weird, but it was a good thing."

"Mum and Dad splitting up would _not_ be a good thing."

"No, I didn't mean..."

"Mum did all of this for him, and if he can't see it..." Nicole's composure began to waiver, and she bit her lip to stop it from trembling.

"They'll be fine," Luke said. Then he caught his sister's eye and his own fears were betrayed. "They have to be," he added quietly.

* * *

Peter took Sarah's hand in a simple gesture that made her heart pound so loudly she was amazed he couldn't hear it. They walked back into the house in silence, and he only let go of her to lock the front door. Then, hand in hand again, he led her upstairs, switching off lights as they went.

"So now what?" she dared to ask when they were in their room. "Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I can't just forget that..."

Sarah pulled slightly on his hand and he moved closer to her, slipping his free hand around her waist.

"I love you," he said. "I have always loved you. Unless you changed that too," he quipped.

She laughed softly and placed one hand on his chest, over his heart. "Couldn't if I wanted to."

"Do you?" he asked, suddenly very serious.

"What?"

"I can't help but think that all this... It would be easier, better without..."

Almost immediately Sarah's eyes began to swim with tears, and when she blinked they spilled over; suddenly she was crying.

"Hey," he soothed, holding her jaw and sweeping his thumbs over her cheeks to wipe them away.

"Easier? I don't know, maybe," she said. "But better? Do you honestly think that?"

"I don't know what to think," he admitted. "My wife has just admitted that for the last thirty years she's been re-writing history. I don't even know how that works; you always said the Universe protects itself. So how can I be here? What happens when we get to the point where you went back? Isn't this now some sort of paradox?"

"This isn't the same timeline, so no. No paradox."

"But what happens to me, to Nicole, when we get to...?"

"The reset point," she finished. "I don't know."

She looked up at him, her eyes starting to clear of tears, and her fear was obvious. For the first time in decades she didn't know what was coming next, and while this should have been natural she wasn't used to it. In a few days she would reach that night when she'd first gone to sleep in 2010 and woken up almost thirty years in the past.

What could happen at that time terrified her; what if she lost him? More than that, what if she lost Nicole? What if she woke up that morning and time had been put right? She would be alone – well, alone but with Luke – the dream-maker hanging in her window and nothing but this crushing grief and love to remind her that this man, this perfect man, her soul-mate, was dead. Dead and gone before they'd even met.

"I don't want to lose you," she whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied, "but that's not the issue here."

"Then...?"

"The morning after our wedding, you told me about UNIT and you swore that was it. That was your big secret. Then there was the Doctor, and that was it, no more secrets. I understood why you didn't tell me about him, I really did, but this... How do I know that this is it? That there's not something else?"

"I suppose me telling you that this really is everything isn't going to help?"

"Not really," he said with a wry smile. "I want to believe you if that makes a difference."

"I wish it did," Sarah whispered, running a finger across his lips. "But it's a start I guess?"

"Tell you one thing," he said, his arms tightening around her as he pulled her flush into a hug, "if the Universe plans to take me away from you? It's got a fight on its hands."

Sarah clung to her husband, the last of her tears slipping down her cheeks onto his shoulder, and she hoped it wouldn't come to a fight. Because deep down, for all her wishing and hoping and prayers, she knew it was a fight they would lose.


	33. Chapter 33

She was aware of the morning light flooding through the windows and in a vain effort to avoid it she rolled over so her back was towards the offending glass. As she turned over she was aware of the lack of heat coming from the other side of the bed and her eyes snapped open.

He wasn't there, and as she reached out under the covers she realised he'd not been there for a while. She got out of bed, pulling on her dressing gown to ward off the early morning chill, and she went downstairs. Peter was still asleep on the sofa, a blanket slipping off his legs. Very carefully she pulled it back over him so he wouldn't be cold, went into the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea, and then headed back upstairs.

On the first floor she paused, glancing first at her open bedroom door, then the closed ones to the rooms of her children. Then she continued up to the attic, closing the door behind you.

"Mr Smith, I need you," she commanded. "Quietly."

The Xylok slid effortlessly in silence out of the wall, its bright display somewhat comforting.

_How can I help, Sarah Jane?_

"I just needed someone to talk to," she admitted, pulling out her desk chair and sitting down, cupping her tea to warm her hands.

_Talk about what?_

"I... changed time," she admitted, wondering how she explained this to her computer. As it turned out it was the easiest explanation of the last twenty four hours, because Mr Smith just listened and didn't ask any number of questions. "And now I'm wondering what is going to happen in five days' time when I get to the reset point."

_There is no reason to suggest anything will happen, Sarah Jane._

"I was told that there would be no reset, but I don't know... I want to believe her but the Doctor told me that the Universe protects itself, that he couldn't change time... And if a Time Lord couldn't then how could I? How did he not know?"

_I regret, I do not have enough information on Time Lords to be able to answer that question._

"I don't think anyone knows enough about them," she said with a small laugh. "Maybe I'm over thinking this. Maybe this sort of thing happens all the time and we just don't know about it."

_It is a possibility._

"I just wanted to see him again," she said quietly. "I just wanted more time, and I ended up with three decades of it. I've got so much more than I could have asked for and now I might lose it."

_But you said time would not reset..._

"Peter's struggling," she explained, "and even if he does get his head around it all things aren't going to be the same again, are they? He's always going to wonder, have this doubt in his mind..."  
_  
In the original timeline, he died. I believe he will find this timeline more preferable._

"It's not about what he prefers though, is it? It's not about what either of us... I make this huge decision and it doesn't just affect me. I wanted to see him so I did. I met him in that pub..."

"...and you never told me your name."

The sound of Peter's voice surprised her and she jumped slightly, spilling her hot tea over her hand and leg. With a yelp she jumped out of the chair; in an instant he was by her side, taking the mug from her hands and setting it down. Using his own sleeve he wiped her hand dry.

"Sorry," he said. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm fine," she said, experimentally pulling the sleepwear trouser leg from her skin. "No lasting damage."

"You didn't tell me your name."

Sarah looked up at him, thoroughly confused. "Sarah Jane Dalton," she quipped, "formally Smith?"

"That day in the pub. You didn't tell me your name. You said you'd leave it up to fate, that you didn't know how long you were going to be around for."

"You remember that?"

"First time I met the love of my life, of course I remember. After that day I went over everything you said and did for some clue that would lead me to you; ironically the day I thought I'd never find you was the day I went to your aunt's."

"Peter..."

"Want to know what I want? I want you. I always have. I want you, Nicole and Luke..."

"But you don't want to sleep in the same bed as me?" she snapped.

"It wasn't... I couldn't sleep and I..." His attempts at explaining fell flat; they both knew why he'd left. "I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for," Sarah told him. "I'm going to go and get dressed, check out these burns." She stepped away from him and left the attic, heading to the bathroom. She put her nightwear into the laundry basket and turned on the shower, climbing in and letting her tears mix with the hot water.

* * *

  
When she walked into the kitchen, they were all there; breakfast time in the Dalton house was always a manic time but she loved every moment of it. Four of them in that small room, vying for the kettle, toast, butter, various condiments, the milk... Today it was quieter and that unnerved her slightly.

"Tea?" Peter offered, kissing her on the cheek as if everything were normal.

"Love some, thanks," she replied. Part of her wanted to have a go at him for pretending, but she knew he was doing it for the sake of the kids.

"Everything sorted then?" Nicole asked.

Sarah's gaze flickered to Luke who was extremely quiet; she immediately knew that he'd been told. "You OK, Luke?" she asked.

"Fine," he said, pushing his cereal around his bowl with the spoon.

"Luke..."

"I'm fine," he snapped. He pushed back his chair and walked out of the kitchen, taking the stairs two at a time.

"I'll go," Sarah told the others. "This is my fault," she added pointedly, glancing at her husband.

When she'd gone after Luke, Nicole got to her feet and walked over to her father, hitting him on the arm. "What is your problem?" she demanded.

"What?"

"You and Mum. There's something wrong, I can tell."

"It's nothing..."

"Yeah. She tells you she's re-written history to save your life, to be with you, to have this family. That's nothing and that's worth sulking over and ruining your marriage for."

"She lied to me," Peter said, realising that he couldn't play the parent card to stop this conversation.

"Can you blame her? I mean it's hardly first date information is it? And if she had told you, then what? Everything that happened, that she knew about, you'd want to change it or stop it. When Luke and I were taken by Mrs Wormwood for one, the Trickster, Androvax... All those things that happened you would have wanted to change, to protect us.

"And I love you, Dad, I really do, but you're being an idiot. All of those things happened in her original timeline, and like everything else in this world, there's cause and effect. They happened and they had an impact on what came next. Things have to go wrong sometimes, Dad, because if they don't... then what?

"Imagine that she'd prevented everything bad that's happened to us. At some point her knowledge is going to run out and then she can't protect us. So we don't know how to protect ourselves, we don't know what to expect. We're even complacent about stuff... Can you imagine how badly things could go? But now we know, we understand. We're prepared.

"People get hurt, Dad. Life, death, pain, even sodding taxes! We have to experience them because that's what makes us who we are. She lost you. You died and she grieved and her pain was so _powerful_ that she came back in time. She changed everything for you, and here you are, acting like this is the worst thing that she could have done."

"She could have told me," he finally managed to say, "she could have trusted me with this."

"She could have told me! She could have told Luke, or Maria or Clyde or Aunt Lavinia. She could have told any number of people but she didn't. And realistically, Dad, could she? Could she really risk it? She knew, she understood. She'd seen everything and so she was able to do what she needed to do to either get through it or make what changes she could. You? You'd have probably shut down the whole thing and run a mile.

"And while we're on the subject of running, Mum is facing up to everything. She wants you to be a part of this, a part of her life. She could have dumped everything on you at the start and then what? You freak out and run a mile? Who the hell wants to date someone who's seen the Universe? How can anything compare to that?

"But look at us, Dad. It's not just her and Luke anymore, she wasn't alone for over twenty years. She has a family she would do anything for and now, when she needs us the most, she finds out she's got a husband who's more concerned with the fact that she kept something from him.

"Yes, she lied to us, but it's not as if she did it out of spite is it? I lied to her, I kept things from her, and we hurt each other. But not once has she made me suffer for it. Last night, telling her everything? She just listened, she didn't judge and she didn't have a go at me. She listened and she forgave me. I should have told her, you kept telling me that. For years I've been carrying this around with me but she did not say or do _anything_ last night that suggested she was going to make me pay for that.

"How is this any different?" she challenged. "She loves me enough to forgive me pretty much everything. I loved her enough to forgive her for leaving us, for running out there when the Daleks were tearing our world apart. Do you love her enough to forgive her for this?"

Peter said nothing when Nicole finished her rant. From the moment she was born he'd known that she would be like her mum. She had his eyes but the rest of her was Sarah through and through. And it seemed like he was seeing that for the first time in twenty three years. The young woman standing in front of him reminded him so much of the young woman he'd fallen in love with back in 1981. A few years older, sure, but his Sarah Jane was just as passionate, just as stubborn, and just as beautiful.

Still saying nothing, he leant forward and kissed his daughter on the top of her head, then he walked out of the kitchen.


	34. Chapter 34

Sarah followed Luke upstairs and knocked gently on his bedroom door. Silence greeted her so she took the chance and turned the door handle. Pushing it open she saw him sat by his computer, staring intently at the screen.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, not looking 'round.

"When?" she asked. "I told your dad, and then I had to tell Nicole... I'm here now though."

"You changed history."

"Yeah."

"How?"

"I don't know."

"What about me?"

"I'm sorry?" she asked.

"You went back for Dad, you had Nicole... What about me? How were things in your original timeline?"

"You were my son. You have always been my son and I have always loved you."

"But you didn't want to adopt me," he pointed out, turning around to face her.

"I did," she said quickly, "but it wasn't just down to me this time. And I had to be hesitant, I had to be cautious... I didn't want to scare you off!"

"I suppose," he agreed, realising her logic.

"When I first came back, when I realised that I was going to live my life over? It was hard. I'd been your mum for years and not having you around was so strange. I missed you _so_ much. When your dad and I got married, I kept thinking that you'd given me away the other time and I wanted you to be there. When I started thinking about having a baby, a part of me felt like I was already a mum, but without a child. Even though I knew I just had to wait, that I would see you again, it still hurt.

"In that timeline, before you came into my life, I was on my own. I thought I was OK, that I didn't need anyone, and then all of a sudden I was a mum. You taught me how to love, Luke. You showed me what unconditional love actually means. Having you in my life... it's been one of the most amazing experiences."

"But Nicole is your child," he said. "She's actually yours."

"And you are actually mine," she said strongly. "Come here." She gestured that they should move to the bed and so they sat, side by side, on the mattress. "When I was pregnant with Nicole, yeah, I thought about you. I wondered if things would be different, if I would love her more than you. And there were a few moments where I thought that it would be like that; feeling her move inside me, when they first handed her to me and I held her..."

She trailed off and looked over at him. "Of all the changes I've made, there was one that I had to do. In the original timeline... these people came forward, claiming you were their son. They were actually Slitheen, but at the time everyone believed that you'd been kidnapped by the Bane and programmed as their archetype. I had to hand you over to them and I was devastated. I didn't want to do anything, see anyone. I pushed Maria and Clyde away and wanted to shut the world out.

"When Nicole was seven years old, we'd gone into town shopping. I looked away for one moment and she was gone. I lost her... and there was that same panic that I'd felt when I saw your face on the news as this missing boy. In that moment I knew, I _knew_ that how I felt about you – how I would feel about you – was no different to how I felt about Nicole."

She reached out and took Luke's hand in hers, placing it on her chest. "You're in here, Luke. You always have been." Then she laughed softly. "For longer than the other two actually!"

"So what's going to happen when...?"

"I don't know," she said – for what seemed like the hundreth time. "I wish I did."

"If time resets, then it'll be just us?" When she nodded he put one of his hands over hers. "I can't imagine things without Dad and Nicole."

"Me either."

"Is there anything we can do?"

"I don't think so."

"Are you and Dad OK?"

"Not really," she found herself admitting. "He's finding this hard."

"You did this for him though."

"Doesn't matter," she replied, brushing his messy fringe from his face. "He just needs time."

"But there's not much of that left. Five days..."

"There's no reason to think that anything's going to happen. We have to carry on as normal."

"Mum?"

"Yes, love?"

"What exactly is normal?" he joked.

Sarah laughed and put her arm around his shoulders, pulling him in and kissing his temple.

* * *

Outside their son's room, Peter listened in to his second conversation in as many days. He leant forward, resting his head on the frame, and sighed. His children were putting him to shame; he needed to find some way to put things right between them.

* * *

Pulling the covers around her, Sarah tried her hardest not to cry. He was sleeping in the spare room; it seemed more definite than him crashing out on the sofa. She turned over and stared at the wall that divided the two rooms and wondered if he was lying awake like she was. Was he thinking about her? About where they were going wrong? Was he wondering if they were going to be like just about every other set of parents and divorce?

Was he fast asleep? Did he just not care?

Throwing back the covers she got out of bed. This was driving her insane and she wasn't going to give up without a fight. She'd gone through everything for him and now he was throwing it all away.

She didn't bother knocking on the door, she just opened it and turned on the light.

Right. So he was asleep then.

"I'm not carrying on like this any more," she declared as Peter sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Either you think we can get through this or you don't, either way I need to know."

"Sarah..."

"I love you, Peter. I don't know how many times I can say it, but I love you. I'd do anything for you and it's not just something I could say. I'd do anything for you, I did do something for you. You were _dead_, Peter. You died, alone, after an accident in your home. Now I'm sorry if you think that it's such a bad thing, but if you're going to throw away nearly three decades of our relationship then I deserve to know.

"I don't regret one thing, Peter, not one thing. I have tried _so hard_ to make this work. You have no idea what it's been like, knowing what was coming and knowing that you couldn't stop it. Things had to happen because they taught us lessons or because they influenced what came next."

"You saved Luke," Peter said, shocking her slightly.

"What? You'd rather let him go? Send him off? Thinking that we couldn't keep him? Been there, done that, and I wanted to spare you and Nic that hell. Of all the things I have been through that is up there as being one of the worse."

"Sarah, it's late." He picked up his watch and blinked. "Or early."

"If you think the time is more important than our marriage."

"Sarah..."

"Fine," she said, holding up her hands. "I'm getting fed up of this. The kids are confused, not about what I've done but about this. About us. And I'm not having them suffer. If you can't deal with this then... then we need to think about where we go from here."

"You... Divorce?" he muttered.

Sarah shrugged. "If you can't deal with this, then where do we go from here?"

"Is that what you want?"

She gave a short laugh. "I went back in time to meet you, ended up marrying you, having a kid with you, and basically saved your life. So yes, Peter. I want a divorce."

"It's too early for sarcasm."

"And it's too late for questions," she countered. "I need to know, Peter. Is there hope for us or isn't there?"

"Now?" he asked.

"Is there a reason why not now?"

He sighed, shifting over in the bed and throwing back the covers.

"What?" she asked.

"Come on."

"So you think that by inviting me into bed everything will be OK?"

"Come on."

She sighed. "And this fixes everything?"

"You're right," he said. Pulling them back further he got out of bed. "I should come to you."

He walked over to her, taking her hands in his.

As he led her back to their spare bed, a million thoughts flooded through her mind. It was like the first time they'd slept together, that nervous excitement, her wondering where their lives and their relationship were going. In the back of her mind she knew that sex was not going to make it all better, that it was a patch – at best – on their relationship.

But damn it felt good.


	35. Chapter 35

The bed was unfamiliar and so she woke much earlier than normal. Stretching out her limbs under the covers she accidentally kicked Peter, who jolted awake.

"Sorry," she said, rolling onto her side.

"It's fine. I needed to be up in... two hours anyway," he muttered, picking up his watch from the bedside table.

Rolling over, he curled in behind her, his arm draping over her waist and their fingers locking.

"This doesn't fix anything," she said quietly.

"Dinner tonight might be a good start though," he whispered, kissing her shoulder.

"Yeah, it would," she agreed.

"I love you. Always have."

"Same here."

"And the answer to your question is yes."

"What question?" she asked, struggling to remember.

"Is there hope for us." He pulled her in closer, making sure their bodies were as close as possible. "If there's one thing you've taught me is that there is always hope."

"I don't want to lose you," she whispered.

"You won't," he promised.

* * *

  
It was the best commission Nicole had ever had; a romantic meal to save her parents' marriage. She employed Luke and the two of them took over the kitchen, banishing their mother from entering. If she wanted something then she had to place an order and one of them would bring it to her within an acceptable timeframe. This amused the children and bemused the mother, but they wouldn't discuss what they were preparing and all of her questions went unanswered.

"This is unfair you know," Sarah told Nicole when she was brought a cup of tea. "Being kept out of parts of my own home?"

"Just shut up and let us get on with it," Nicole replied.

"Yes, but get on with what?"

"You'll find out."

"I don't like not having my questions answered."

"They will be," Nicole smiled. "Just... not yet."

"You are far too much like me for your own good."

Nicole sat down on one of the sofas in the attic. "This is a bad thing?"

"It can be."

"I don't think so," Nicole said, curling her legs up underneath her. "This... all of this? It's amazing."

"That's one word for it."

"What's it like? Out there?"

"Amazing. Brilliant. Terrifying. The things I've seen..."

"Wish I could see them."

"Do you? Really?"

Nicole thought about it, then shrugged. "Sometimes. The things I've seen... Travelling with the Doctor through space and time... I keep thinking back to my history lessons, all the things that I'd like to see?"

"Well, dinosaurs and the Middle Ages? Overrated."

"You're kidding?"

Sarah smiled at Nicole and then turned back to the computer, pulling her reading glasses down off her head.

"When's the best time you've been to?" Nicole asked.

"You honestly want to know?"

"I wouldn't have asked otherwise."

"You'll think I'm insane."

"I've thought that for a while now, Mum. Nothing you can say now will change that."

"1981."

"What?"

"Going back, meeting your dad."

"OK, I was wrong. You've managed to change my opinion. I now think you're certifiable." Nicole laughed and got up, walking over to the desk. "You've got a couple of hours before dinner's ready. I've picked out your outfit..."

"Is there nothing I'm allowed to do for myself?" Sarah quipped.

"Nope," Nicole grinned. "Better get back to it before my sous chef destroys the main course."

"I look forward to it."

When Nicole had gone, Sarah turned back to the computer, emailed off the story she'd been working on, then pulled up her emails. Sifting through the usual junk, she smiled at the one from Alistair. Opening it up she found that on the surface it seemed to be a generic update on how life was, but she knew him better than that. He and Liz were still in Peru, and reading between the lines she was able to get a complete picture of what was really going on.

She fired off a quick reply, telling him there was little new information from the Dalton household. She asked after Liz, telling her old friend to pass on a message to his wife and call once in a while. After the movie's release, they'd taken to referring to themselves as the "first wives club"; the women the Doctor left behind. It was an old joke, but one that still make her smile.

Once that was done she shut down the computer and went down the first set of stairs. Walking into her room she saw a suit bag hanging on the wardrobe door – Nicole hadn't been kidding. Everything was seemingly planned down to the last detail. She just hoped that it worked.

* * *

  
"This is a bit flash," Clyde declared as he walked into the kitchen.

"And it's not for you," Nicole said, slapping away his hand.

"So what's the deal?"

"Mum and Dad are having a night in."

"It's not either of their birthdays, and I don't think it's their anniversary. So what gives?"

"They just want a night in without kids and without aliens getting in the way. So that's what we're giving them, OK?" Nicole said, shooting a look at him.

"OK," he said, holding up his hands in surrender. "Rani coming?"

"Of course. We'll pick her up on our way."

"Where are we off to?"

"Thought we'd check out that new sci-fi film? Nitpick the aliens?"

Clyde laughed and nodded. "Only if there's pizza afterwards."

"Clyde Langer, you should know me better than to suggest a movie without pizza!"

"Just checking," he grinned. "Hey Luke."

"Mum's nearly ready," Luke said to Nicole as he walked into the kitchen. "Hey, Clyde."

"So what's the big deal with tonight?" Clyde asked.

"No deal."

"Luke Dalton, you are a bad liar."

"Don't know what you mean."

"Sure," Clyde said, eyeing the Dalton children suspiciously. "Is there something wrong?"

"Yes," Peter said as he walked into the kitchen. He finished adjusting his cufflinks and looked at the table. "You three are still here."

"We're just going," Nicole said, herding Luke and Clyde towards the door. She kissed her father on the cheek and smiled. "Have a good night."

"You too," Peter said. "Thanks for this, sweetheart, it looks amazing."

"Enjoy," she called as they left.

Peter turned back to the table and smiled; Nicole had refused to take his order, telling him that she'd seen enough of these romantic dinners to know what worked and what didn't, and more than that she knew her parents. So she was in charge, and knowing that he was dealing with a mini Sarah Jane, he'd allowed her to carry on.

He heard the footsteps on the stairs and he walked out to the hallway to meet her. As soon as she came into view his breath stuck in his throat.

"Well?" she asked, pausing on a step.

"You look..." he began, then struggled to find a work to do her justice.

Nicole's choice had been simple, the classic little black dress. It was teamed up with a silver chain link belt that marked her waist line, and the ends hung to her knees where they met the boots. She walked down the last few steps and stood in front of Peter, enjoying the extra inches that the boots gave her.

"You don't look so bad yourself," she said, adjusting the knot on his tie.

"Our table awaits," he said, offering her his arm.

She took it and allowed him to lead her into the kitchen. When she saw the meal on the table she couldn't help but laugh.

"Our daughter is too smart for her own good," she declared, letting him walk her to her seat.

What was on the table wasn't anything fancy or special. Nicole had prepared her version of the meal they'd had on their first date. The little restaurant he'd taken her to was a mock-Italian, serving up a half-decent pasta dish and garlic bread that had more garlic than bread.

"We need to stop telling that girl things," Sarah said as Peter poured her a glass of wine.

"She's trying."

"So are you," she said, taking his free hand in hers for a moment.

"I've been thinking," he said, taking his seat across from her.

"Am I going to like this?" she asked.

"Nicole said something, about love and forgiveness. Nic kept her secrets from you, but you saw past that. You forgave her, even though she hurt you."

"I'm her mum," Sarah said, "it's kinda in the job description."

"And I'm your husband. Love, honour, respect... Think that's in the job description. Along with support, encouragement, and forgiveness. I wish you'd told me... but I understand why you didn't."

"So... what now?"

"Now," he smiled, "we enjoy the dinner our daughter has prepared, we talk, and we enjoy our evening."

"Sounds like a plan to me."


	36. Chapter 36

Nicole and Luke brought Rani and Clyde up to speed about the issues in their parents' marriage over deep pan pizza and lemonade, making sure they kept their mother's little time trip out of it.

"So it's that serious?" Rani asked. "I always thought they were the perfect couple."

"They are," Nicole said, "it's just a blip. But we need to give them some time and space. And that's where you come in."

"What can we do?" Clyde asked, slipping another slice of pizza onto his plate. "I mean, none of us are qualified marriage guidance counsellors."

"Nic wants to take over the family business," Luke said.

"Family business?"

"The whole... thing?" Nicole said, looking around in case anyone was close enough to overhear. "I mean, it's not as if this is the kind of thing you can take a two week holiday off, is it?"

"So what? We do it without her?" Rani asked. "Sarah Jane isn't exactly going to just hand over the reins."

"That's why Nic's not going to give her a choice," Clyde realised, gesturing with his food.

"You're finally learning," Nicole smiled.

"I have been taking notes."

"They going to be OK?" Rani asked as she made sure she claimed her fair share of the pizza before the boys got to it. "Sarah Jane and Peter?"

"Of course they will," Luke said.

"Time and space," Nicole repeated. "And privacy, right? Not a word about this."

"As if," Clyde declared, reaching for another slice. When Nicole slapped the back of his hand, he frowned and retreated. "Secret's safe with me."

"Unlike the pizza," Rani quipped.

"Hey, I'm a growing boy."

"You'll grow in the wrong direction," Nicole pointed out.

"Back me up here, mate," Clyde said, shooting a look at his friend.

"You want to take on my sister, you do it without me," Luke replied.

"Smart boy," Nicole quipped, patting her brother on his shoulder.

"We're getting dessert right?" Clyde asked. "Because my silence has a very high price."

* * *

  
After dinner they went and saw the latest trashy sci-fi movie, which gave them unexpected laughs due to knowledge they shouldn't have. When it finished Nicole glanced at her watch and wasn't sure if it would be safe to go home just yet. So they all piled into her car, put the roof down, and headed up to the hills.

"Used to come up here to think," Nicole said as they got out and walked the last of the way to the crest. "Mum did the same," she added, thinking back to that day when she'd bumped into her.

"It's beautiful," Rani said, looking out at the city spread below them.

Nicole's phone beeped, and she pulled it from her jeans pocket.

"Dad?" Luke asked.

"No," she smiled, sending a quick reply and putting the phone away.

"It's her mystery man," Rani said, folding her arms and smiling.

"What's this?" Clyde asked. "Nic's all loved up?"

"Since when were you a gossip?" Nicole asked.

"Since this was the most interesting thing to happen to us in a while. I mean, we sent the Judoon and Androvax packing a while ago, then there was that thing with your mate Sam," he said directly to Rani, "now nothing. It's like the Universe is having a break or something. So now that there's something interesting going on, I want details."

"His name is Scott," she said.

"And where did we meet the lovely Scott?" Clyde asked, enjoying this.

Nicole sighed, but if it kept them away from Bannerman Road then it was worth it. The more time she could give her parents the better.

* * *

  
As Peter handed Sarah one of the plates, he caught the smirk on her face. "What?" he asked.

"Isn't her business about cooking _and_ cleaning up?"

"I think we'll let her off this time."

"She's really worried about us," Sarah said, drying the plate and stacking it on the side.

"They both are."

"Are we OK?" she asked.

Peter moved away from the sink and walked over to her. "Yeah, I reckon we are," he told her, putting his hands around her waist.

When she felt the water seep through her dress she squealed but soon ignored it as he pulled her in closer, kissing her gently.

"We're gonna be OK," he said – and she believed him.

* * *

  
They were late down to breakfast for no other reason than they'd overslept. Curled up together, in their own bed, Sarah and Peter had slept deeply and well. They'd talked and laughed and kissed while they cleared up, and that had continued up into the bedroom, into the small hours and it had been a sleep of necessity and exhaustion.

Sarah was first into the kitchen, and immediately Luke and Nic fell silent, looking up at their mother with knowing smiles on their faces.

"Morning," she said, ignoring them. "Dinner was lovely, little one, thank you."

"No problems."

"How was your night?"

"Yeah, good," Luke said, shooting a glance at his sister. "Nic filled us in about Scott."

In the doorway, Peter froze. He looked over at his daughter with a mixture of horror, hope and confusion. "Scott?" he asked.

"Um, yeah," she said, shooting daggers at Luke.

"And who is this Scott? How old is he, what does he do, and when do I get to meet him?"

Sarah couldn't help but laugh as Peter made good on an old promise to make any boyfriend of their daughter suffer.

"He's an old friend," Nic sighed, "someone I met at Uni. It was never anything then, he was seeing some... blonde thing."

"Blonde thing?" Sarah laughed, putting the kettle on. "Tea, love?"

"Only if you're serving Scotch with it," Peter quipped, tapping Luke on the shoulder. "Move. I think I need to sit down for this one."

"Better not tell him everything you told us last night then, Nic," Luke quipped as he stood up, allowing his father to sit in his vacated seat.

Peter nearly gave himself whiplash as he turned to look at his daughter. "What?"

Sarah looked at the two as Nicole launched into persuading her father that she wasn't about to tack "grand" onto the beginning of his name just yet. Everyone talked about how Nic was like her; she'd heard Clyde refer to Nic as "Sarah lite" on the odd occasion.

Of course Nic had heard as well and rounded on Clyde, telling him that there was nothing 'lite' about her, and if he was going to comment on the similarities between mother and daughter then he'd do well to remember that she was a Smith girl and not a Dalton one, so he'd better remember what that temper was like.

But looking at the two of them now, father and daughter, she was struck about how much alike they were. There was so much of Peter in her little girl and she felt the breath stick in her throat. In this one moment she knew that everything was worth it. All the pain and heartache and the burden of the secrets she'd carried all this time. It was worth it.

"Earth to Mum," Luke said quietly as he moved to stand next to her.

"What?"

"Kettle's boiled."

"Oh. Right."

"You OK?" he asked.

"I'm absolutely fine," she smiled.

"You're on another planet," he quipped.

"Just thinking."

"What about?"

"Just... how lucky I am. I thought I loved my life before," she said, glancing over at him. "You and me? We did alright. We did better than alright. I thought that you were all I needed."

"And I wasn't?"

"Oh no, it's nothing like that," she said quickly, putting an arm around him. "I thought I was happy before you came into my life, but then you made it better. And with your dad and Nicole..."

"It's better?"

"I don't mean that you weren't enough..."

"I know," he said, grinning at her. "Yeah, life's pretty good."

"You have no idea how good."

"You and Dad... You're OK, yeah?"

"We're OK, love. Me and your dad? We're..."

"Meant to be?" Peter quipped as he finally stopped giving Nicole the third degree.

"You make it sound so simple!" Sarah protested.

"He's a man, Mum, he's got no idea."

"And what idea is that, oh daughter of mine who seems to well versed in the mysteries of love?" he asked, folding his arms and settling into the chair.

"You leave her alone," Sarah chimed in. "She's in love, she's happy, and you not going to ruin that. So when she _chooses_ to bring Scott around you are going to be the loving and supportive father."

"But..."

"But nothing," she said forcefully. And that was that.

* * *

  
Sarah pushed the door shut and after switching off the light she climbed into bed. "I can hear you thinking," she muttered as she settled down.

"Can I ask you something?" Peter said into the semi-darkness.

"Anything."

"How long is it until... your reset point?"

She had been dozing off at that point, but her eyes snapped open. "Few days."

"You worried?"

"...Terrified," she admitted.

"So what's going to happen?"

"I wish I knew. Part of me thinks that I'm going to wake up and everything's going to be back to... to how it was."

Under the covers he reached out for her, grabbing her hand.

"Losing you before... that was so hard. I couldn't sleep, and when I did I had these nightmares. You were slipping away from me and no matter how much I tried to hold on... Sometimes I'd be holding on so tight you'd drag me with you because I couldn't let go. I'd be lost with you."

He turned over, curling up beside her.

"Then Clyde bought me this dream... maker, and that night my dreams were different. The life I wanted. You, me, a family... And that's what scares me the most. Not losing you..."

"Thanks!" he laughed softly, his breath warm against her ear.

"...but losing Nicole."

His laughter died out, and he gently nuzzled her neck.

"I love you, you know I do, and you know how much... But her?"

"Yeah. I know."

"If anything happened to her..."

"It won't," he said with a certainty she wished she could share. "How about we have a family day?"

"The Universe protects itself," Sarah said quietly.

"Yeah, and so does this family," Peter replied, kissing her shoulder.


	37. Chapter 37

Nic pulled up in the car park, and glanced in the rear-view mirror, checking makeup. She nearly jumped out of her skin when there was a loud rapping on the window.

"You look gorgeous!"

She laughed and opened the door, jokingly pushing it against his legs before he finally moved out of the way. "Hey you," she greeted.

"Hey yourself," Scott replied, his arm snaking around her waist to pull her in for a kiss.

"Miss me?"

"You were gone?"

"Cheeky."

"Wouldn't have you any other way," he said, moving to her side but keeping his arm around her waist. "So how's things with your mum and dad?"

"Yeah, they're getting there. At least they're talking now."

"I'm glad," he said, giving her a small squeeze, "you were really worried about them."

"I wasn't..."

"Nic, I know you. You were doing a good job of trying to hide it but I could see you were worried."

"I'm an adult..."

"Doesn't matter if you're three or twenty three, your parents splitting up is a big deal."

Nic didn't say anything, just leant into his body as they walked into the pub.

"So what else is new?" he asked, tactfully changing the subject.

"Dad knows about you."

Scott stopped dead in his tracks. "He what?"

"I had to tell Luke, and then Luke made a point of saying something in front of Mum and Dad and then one thing led to another."

Half-scared, Scott threw a glance over his shoulder in case Peter had followed them and was preparing to kill the man who was dating his daughter. "What'd he say?"

"He wants to murder you," Nicole said deadpan. "And he said to tell you that 'cause he's a lawyer he'll be able to get away with it. Drink?"

She couldn't help but smile at the look on his face, and when he caught her expression he rolled his eyes.

"Good thing I love you," he sighed.

Nicole froze for just a moment. She'd known for some time that they were falling in love, but she'd not expected the declaration to be in their favourite pub after meeting for dinner.

"I..." Scott began as he realised what he'd done. "Well that was tactful, Scott. Way to break it to the girl."

"I have news," Nicole said, moving in closer to him. "Well, two bits."

"You're not pregnant?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's why Dad wants to kill you. Said he's not ready to be a grandfather just yet."

"I'm leaving the country," Scott muttered.

"Oh shut up," she laughed, kissing him gently. "News item number one. I've kinda known that you love me for a while."

"And there was me thinking I was being subtle about it. What's item number two?"

"Take a guess."

"You are pregnant."

"No."

"You're dumping me."

"No."

"You're going to help me leave the country?"

"If you keep this up, then yes."

"Only after you buy me a drink."

"And why would I do that?" she asked.

"Because you love me too. I'll have a pint thanks." He grinned at her and went off to find their table, knowing that if he turned around she'd be glaring at him.

* * *

He waited until they'd finished eating before he broached the subject. "So... when's the big meet-the-parents dinner?"

"Dunno," Nicole admitted.

"How about this Sunday?"

"Next few days are... going to be tricky."

"Everything OK?"

"Yeah, it's fine," she lied. "Just Mum wants some family time. Everything's been a bit nuts in our house the last few months."

"Do they know you were..."

"With you?" she asked before shaking her head. "Dad really would want to kill you then."

"You never told me why you ran," he said gently, finally feeling like he could ask her. She'd turned up on his doorstep all those months ago in floods of tears and asking if she could stay the night. The night turned into a couple of them which then turned into weeks.

"It's complicated."

"Nic, if you tell me to drop it then I will. But I want to know and I know you want to tell me."

"Do I now?"

"Yeah, you do. Nic, you had some shocking nightmares. Woke the whole house screaming."

"Scott..."

"When I first met you, I was blown away by how smart and together you were. You had your own business, Nic! You were brilliant and successful... And that is a million miles away from the girl who turned up on my door that night. The girl who broke down and cried and woke screaming every night until I made her sleep in my bed. That was the night you stopped, and that was the night I knew that I wanted to make sure you never had those dreams again.

"Nic... You didn't want to go home, but then one day..."

"Things changed."

"Like what?"

"I... It's weird, and you're not going to believe me."

"Try me."

"I met this woman."

"You're switching teams on me?" Scott quipped.

"You wish. But I was out, dealing with these... people that Mum had asked to look for me. This woman comes up to me, asks if I want my future telling. I said no at first but there was something about her and so I said yes. It was like she understood what I was going through. She told me I'd be the salvation."

"Of the world?" Scott quipped.

"I have no idea. She said that I was meant to be here for a reason, and that I would be the salvation. I asked her what she meant, and she told me that answers would be found on the hill in my dreams.

"That night, I dreamt I was driving out of town, I knew the road... So I went there the next day, and Mum was there. I don't know if that was fate or anything, but seeing her there... she looked so broken and lost. And that's not Mum. I'd done that to her and I hated myself for it. She'd hurt me, I was struggling with my own stuff, but I still loved her."

"So what had she done?" Scott asked.

"I know you're going to hate me for this, but..."

"You don't want to say."

"Not yet. There's stuff going on at home and this is all tied up in that. When it's over, yeah, I'll tell you, I promise. But I just need to get through this first."

"OK," he said. "But I will hold you to that promise."

"Won't mind if you do," she smiled.

"So... want to split a piece of their chocolate fudge cake with me?"

"Only if we get cream."

"You know I prefer ice cream."

"And I like cream," she replied as she got out of her seat to go and order.

When the cake was brought over, there was a scoop of ice cream on one side, slowly melting into the cream.

* * *

Clyde kicked at the offending pebble on the pavement, cringing as it pinged off the tyre of a nearby motorbike. "You know, I'd almost forgotten what being bored felt like."

"You'd rather the world be coming to an end?" Rani asked.

"I'd rather _something_ was happening. It's weird. Like it's all too quiet? That's never good in horror movies."

"Last time I checked we weren't living in some horror movie. _Nightmare on Bannerman Road_ doesn't quite have the same ring to it."

"You know what else doesn't ring right?" Clyde asked. "Luke being this quiet."

"What?" Luke asked.

"Is something up?" Rani enquired.

"Just family stuff."

Clyde's face changed to one of sympathy. "Your folks OK?"

"Yeah, they're doing good. Mum's fussing though. She keeps going on about having some family time."

"Mum got all clingy when Dad left."

"Dad's not leaving," Luke said defensively.

"I just meant..."

"There's stuff going on you don't know about," he blurted out before he could stop himself.

"Like what?" Rani asked. "You can tell us anything, you know that."

"I know," Luke said.

"So?"

"So... it's private. Family stuff."

"Your mum and Nic still weird?" Clyde asked. "I mean, weird with each other, not weird weird like alien weird because your mum and sister are not alien weird, or even weird in general."

"Don't worry, I won't tell them what you said," Luke laughed.

"But seriously, is everything OK?" Rani asked as they reached the park bench. She sat up on the back while the boys sat on the seat. "Sarah Jane's been really..." She tried to come with the right word and in the end just shrugged. "Y'know."

"Yeah, I know. Things have been tense at home. But they're getting sorted out."

"You sure?" Clyde asked, tapping his mate's leg. "If you need someone to talk to about stuff..."

"We're here is what he's trying to say," Rani interrupted.

"Thanks," Luke smiled, desperate to change the topic of conversation. "Hey, you done much revision?" he asked Clyde.

"Pfft," Rani dismissed. "This is Clyde we're talking about. Mr 'I'll do it later'?"

"Hey!" Clyde protested. "I'll have you know I've done loads of work."

"Yeah? What's the name for plant respiration?"

"...Breathing?" he ventured.

Rani rolled her eyes. "Lots of work."

"I haven't got to that bit yet."

As Rani continued to quiz Clyde on various aspects of biology, Luke said nothing, not even correcting his friend when he got answers wrong. Which was quite often. Eventually Clyde checked his watch and realised he had to go, leaving Rani and Luke to walk back to Bannerman Road.

"At least you don't have to worry about revising."

"What?"

"Earth to Luke! I was saying you don't have to worry about revising. Wish I had your memory."

"Wish I had your social skills."

"You're doing OK."

"It's just... I don't know what to say at home. It's weird. Mum and Dad say they're OK but I'm not so sure. I think it all depends on how well the next few days go. Nic's loved up with some guy but she's scared about bringing him home because of how they might react. Not that she's saying she's scared but I know she is. She has something good in her life and she doesn't want to bring him into this. Whatever this is.

"Mum and Dad... they've always been so secure. No matter what else happened they were OK. Few... hitches, but nothing like this."

"What happened?" Rani asked gently.

"I can't tell you."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"No, it's not that. I want to tell you, I do. I really could use someone else outside of the family to talk to but this is big. I just..." He sighed and shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. "Next week, yeah? Whatever this is... next week."

"How can everything be sorted by next week?"

"Part of the stuff between Mum and Dad is down to something that might happen in the next few days."

"Is this...?" Rani began.

"No," Luke said quickly, realising where her mind was going. "This is just about us."

"You're really worrying me now." Rani put her hand on his arm to get him to stop. "This isn't like you and it's certainly not like Sarah Jane. When she keeps things from us... it's not good."

"This is not like that. I... it's about us, as a family. This is something that we have to deal with. And we will, OK? We're doing the best we can do and we just need to wait and see what happens."

"Just... promise me there's nothing bad going on."

"As far as we know, there's nothing bad going on," he smiled.

"As far as you know?"

"Rani, please. You have to trust me."

"I do trust you, but..."

"But what?"

"I just feel like I'm missing out on something. Something big."

Luke felt his hands curl into fists and his vision flashed. "My family is not _something big_, Rani. This is private and it is something you will _not_ stick your nose into. We are not a story to be investigated, understand?"

"Luke..."

"I will tell you everything, but I can't. Not yet. I promised my parents and I will keep that promise. All you need to do is wait one week but if you can't do that then you're not the friend that I thought you were."

"Luke!" she called after him as he stormed off home, his blood rushing in his ears.

He was more angry with himself if he was honest; he hated lying to his best friends but his mum had been right – they couldn't risk it. They'd all sat down and agreed on a course of action for the next few days. Life as normal, but on Reset Day (R-Day as it had been quipped) they were staying in. None of them really wanted to let Peter out of their sight, and Luke's anger gave way to concern as he remembered the look that had been on her face when they were talking about it.

When the Daleks had returned, she'd been scared. When Nic had gone missing, she'd been terrified. But this? The idea of time resetting, of losing her husband and her daughter? That was something else. Something worse. He couldn't imagine life without them, but he knew, deep down, that if he did lose them he'd make it through. Struggle through. He'd survive and keep going, but his mother's heart was tied up in this family. She lived for her husband and her children and losing them would be like losing her heart.

Would he be enough for her? He was all she had in the other timeline, but now she knew more, loved more, wanted more. He was scared that if they lost the others that things between them would be broken.

Sarah Jane saved him. Took him in, rescued him. Loved him and made him human. He wanted to save her in the same way, make it all OK. He wanted to make sure that in a week's time, a fortnight's time, a year's time they would still be together, a family. He couldn't imagine not having a dad. He was certain that in the other timeline they did just fine, but there were things he'd talked to his dad about these last few years that he couldn't imagine talking to his mum about. Not to mention all the things his sister had helped with because he didn't want to talk to the embarrassing parents.

Maybe they did just fine as mother and son, but he was certain that they did better as a family.

Luke Smith.

Sounded like he was someone else.

He walked up the driveway just as Nicole pulled up in her car. He waited until she got out and they walked up to the front door together.

"What'd you tell Scott?" he asked.

"That I'd tell him everything next week. What you'd tell Clyde and Rani?"

"Same."

"Hope I'm around to tell him."

"You will be," Luke said. "There's nothing to suggest that you and Dad are just going to... snap out of existence. And if you did then you know Mum's going to tear the Universe apart to get you back."

"What about you?"

"Be one step behind her."

Nicole glanced over at her little brother and smiled. "Bet the other you loved being an only child."

"I don't know about that," he said, shrugging slightly, "but I kinda like having a big sister."

"You realise that normally little brothers hate their big sisters."

"And aren't big sisters supposed to hate their little brothers?" he asked.

"Who said I don't?" she quipped, opening the front door and walking in.

"Oi!" Luke protested as he followed her, hitting her playfully on her arm.

"Are you two getting into the fighting stage now?" Sarah asked as she walked into the hallway, folding her arms and looking at them. "Toddlers do that."

"He is three," Nicole quipped, moving quickly out of Luke's reach before the second swipe came her way.

"What's going on?" Peter asked as he joined them.

"Our children are behaving like little kids."

"OK then." He moved to stand behind his wife, his arms around her waist, and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"You two OK?" Sarah asked the kids continued their playful fight; taking swings and ducking them.

"We're good," Nicole laughed as she grabbed Luke's arm and pulled him in for an impromptu hug. "How are you two?"

"Not bad," Sarah said.

"I'm taking a few days off work," Peter said. "Just... staying at home."

"Mum told you to, didn't she?" Luke said.

"Of course," he said, earning himself a playful slap from his wife. "Anything for an easy life."

"Careful, Dad. She may end up hoping that..." Nicole stopped dead in her sentence, realising that she couldn't make a joke of their fears. "I spoke to Scott, he wants to do the 'meet the parent' thing."

"He's keen," Sarah pointed out.

"Are you pregnant?" Peter asked, but Sarah could tell that he wasn't concerned or angry.

"Yes, granddad, I'm knocked up," Nic droned. "Why is everyone so keen to make me into a mum?"

"Because you're one of the best things that's happened to me and your mum."

"And I think I'll wait a while before jumping on that bandwagon."

"Good for you," Sarah said. "Go put the kettle on."

As soon as Nicole had gone into the kitchen, Luke glanced at his parents. "What was all that about? If she was pregnant you'd hit the roof."

"Yeah, and now it's the last thing she wants!" Peter laughed.

"You two are sneaky," he muttered, going to join his sister.

"I like to think we're more... cautious," Peter whispered into Sarah's neck.

"Whatever we are, we're good," she replied.

"We're great." He kissed her neck but neither of them moved.


	38. Chapter 38

Sarah woke with a start at dawn, looking to the side of her in panic.

"I'm still here," he said.

"Can't believe I fell asleep," she muttered, rolling over.

"Love, you're not exactly..."

"You finish that sentence and I will kill you myself." She closed her eyes and curled in close to him.

"So... can we get back to normal?" Peter asked. "We've survived your... reset day. We're still here. I'll put money on the fact that Nicole is still unconscious in her room."

"I had to be sure."

"I know," he said, putting his arm around her and pulling her in close. "And if I'm honest, spending the day within sight of my wife? Not that bad." He kissed the top of her head and gently stroked her hair. "Maybe this is how things are supposed to be? This... reset point is arbitrary. We are going to grow old together, love."

"I hope so."

"Still hope?" he asked. His fingers raked through her hair, pulling gently at the knots that sleep had put there. "Sweetheart..."

"I feel like this is all some dream sometimes, that one day I'm going to wake up and you'll be gone. Nicole won't have existed and you... You still died and..." Her arms tightened around his body.

"I won't leave you," he whispered as his fingers resumed their stroking, gentle sweeping patterns across her head. "I won't ever leave you, I promise."

To the sound of his breathing and the sensation of his hand, she fell back to sleep.

* * *

The bed was empty when she woke up, but her memory reminded her that this was to be expected. Because Peter had taken time off from work he had missed a number of important meetings with clients; in order to appease them and the other partners he'd agreed to meet them at their offices. He would be driving up to Cambridge right now.

Sarah stretched out in the bed, working out the tension and sleep from her limbs. Maybe he was right. Maybe this "reset" day... She had to stop calling it that. There was no reset, her life was as it always had been. She could hear sounds from downstairs; the kids were up. No, wait, there were too many voices. Who else? She kept her eyes closed, focussing on the sounds, picking them apart. She was tuned into Luke's and picked him out easily. A deep laugh revealed Clyde's presence and she listened for a clue to identify the often-quiet third as Rani or her daughter.

Eventually she realised that it would be easier and quicker to go downstairs, and that way she'd get a cup of tea out of it too.

Getting out of bed she dressed, taking her time as she ran over all the thoughts that had been crammed into her head in recent weeks. Yesterday had been almost boring in its uneventfulness. Nothing had happened, not even out there in the big wide world. Mr Smith had monitored the skies, every news channel around the world, along with various readings that only Luke seemed to understand. Her children had poured over every report that the Xylok could produce, looking for clues or evidence that might suggest that the Universe was freaking out about the presence of a supposed-dead man and a girl who shouldn't exist.

But there was nothing. Yesterday had been the closest to a normal day that Sarah had known since she first met the Doctor, and had her understanding of the world and Universe rearranged.

Last night Nicole had cooked (which, to be honest she was doing pretty much every night now) and they had enjoyed a family meal. Laughter and jokes and everything that came with normal family stuff. Nicole and Luke had stayed up until the small hours playing computer games, while she and Peter retired to their room, talking and spending time with each other. She'd intended to stay awake all night, to just watch him in case something – anything happened. Only she'd fallen asleep because she'd been so damn comfortable, lying there with him. Nearly three decades of lying next to him, sharing a bed, a room, a home and a life with him it was almost impossible to imagine him not being there.

She finally allowed herself to push back thoughts of losing him to years away. Old and grey. Illness or something. She'd lie on the bed next to him, hold his hand, and they'd talk about random stuff as he slipped away. Or maybe it would be the other way around, maybe she'd go first. Maybe he'd be holding her hand.

Shaking her head to rid herself of morbid thoughts, she walked over to the grand window and pulled back the curtains. Her entire body froze; no breathing, her heart seemed to go quiet, her muscles were tense and her eyes couldn't move from the window. After a moment her mind seemed to catch up, but all it could do was what her mouth couldn't : scream.

Hanging in the window as if it had always been there was the dream maker.

* * *

In the kitchen Luke stopped what he was doing and glanced at the doorway as he heard his mum calling out.

"What's up with Sarah Jane?" Rani asked, getting out of her seat.

Sarah almost flew into the kitchen, looking at the three of them in near-disappointment. "Where's Nicole?" she demanded.

"Nicole?" Luke asked in confusion.

Sarah's stomach turned over. _No, please, no..._ "Your sister. Where is she?"

"Mum..."

"Where is she?" Sarah asked again, her voice firm but emotional. "Please, Luke..."

"I'm right here."

Sarah turned on the spot and let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Nicole was stood behind her, a morning paper in her hand.

"Oh thank God..." Sarah muttered, moving quickly to her daughter and pulling her into a bear hug.

"Mum, what's wrong?"

"The dream maker is in my window," she managed to say.

* * *

Standing in their parents' room, Luke and Nicole studied the dream maker.

"So that's what started this?" Nicole remarked.

"Where did it come from?" Luke asked.

"I don't know," Sarah admitted. "I woke up and it was here. And I just... Your dad," she said, suddenly realising. "Where's my phone?"

She began hunting around her room, looking for her mobile. When she couldn't find it she widened her search, heading downstairs to pull the living room apart.

"What's the point in having a mobile phone if you can never find it?" she yelled in frustration.

"Mum." Nicole's voice cut through her panic and she held out her own mobile phone. "It's ringing."

Sarah put it to her ear, willing him to answer. It rang for what seemed like an eternity before Peter finally answered.

"Nic?"

"It's me," Sarah sighed in relief. "Why'd you take so long to answer?"

"Sorry, had to... pull over... Is everything OK? You sound..."

"The dream maker is in the window. I woke up and it was there."

"Sarah..."

"You need to come home now," she said. "Please, Peter. Just... come home."

"Sweetheart, it's OK. Really. It's all going to be OK."

"I'd feel so much better if you were home, Mr Smith..."

"I need to get to this meeting," he said, his voice quiet and resigned. "I can't miss it, Sarah."

"Peter..."

"This is important."

"More than this?"

"Sarah..." He sighed gently.

"I know, I know," she sighed herself, forcing herself to calm down. "I'm just scared."

"It'll be OK," he assured her. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Yeah," she breathed, forcing out the air from her lungs. "Have a good day, yeah?"

"OK," he said.

"Bye."

"Sarah?"

"Yeah?"

"...I love you."

Her mouth curled into a smile and she found herself relaxing. "I love you too." The call ended and Sarah handed the phone back to their daughter. "Thanks."

"So slightly less panicky now?" Nicole mocked as she locked the keypad and put the phone into her pocket.

"A bit."

"It'll be OK, Mum. I'm still here, yeah?"

"Yeah," she agreed. "I just... I can't help but worry. It's a mum thing."

"Were you this bad with Luke? Before?"

"Yeah, a bit."

"Was it worth it?" Nicole asked, sitting on the arm of the sofa. "I mean, you're tying yourself up in knots over it. What if Dad and I just... went? Would it be worth it?"

"If I lost you... I don't know how I'd deal with that," Sarah admitted, "but it would have been worth it." She gestured that they should sit properly, and once they had Sarah linked arms with Nicole. "It's something that I've thought a lot about. Letting go... it's hard. It's painful and it's hard but what helps is that you hang onto what good you had; memories, thoughts, emotions. I was alone before when I lost Aunt Lavinia, I even lost Luke for a while... I lost your dad before... And dealing with that was _so_ hard."

"You didn't deal with losing Dad," Nicole pointed out. "Hence all this."

"I had time after... It was hard. Nightmares, apathy, the works. Luke and the kids, they did what they could. The Doctor even stuck around for a bit. But in the end it came down to what was in here," she said, touching her head, "and here," she added, touching her heart. "I got the point where it wasn't killing me to think about him, where I realised it was OK to still love him and miss him... That was the night I dreamt, I didn't have nightmares. That was the night that gave me this. Gave me you." She smiled, lifting her hand to her daughter's face.

"All the pain and heartache..."

"Worth it. I lost five before you and one after, but the idea of never trying? Of never having you?"

"And Dad?"

"Same principle."

"I... Wait, you nearly lost Luke?" Nicole said, her mind catching up with what her mother had said.

"Yeah, the one thing I actually changed," she admitted. "I couldn't just stand by and... You are my family and I will do _anything_ to protect you."

Nicole smiled and leant over, resting her head on her mother's shoulder.

* * *

Sarah was going stir crazy in the house so she took a book and a drink outside. She'd found her mobile phone and it sat on the table, just in case Peter called. The sun was beginning to set as the afternoon began to give way to the evening. As she turned a page, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up before she heard the familiar sounds nearby. Putting the book down she got to her feet just as the TARDIS materialised in her back garden.

The door swung open and there he was, the Doctor, leaning against the frame and just looking at her.

"Doctor?" Sarah ventured after a moment's silence.

"You need to come with me," he said sadly.

"What? Why?"

"Sarah..."

"Not until you tell me why," she said, reading his expression clearly. "I'm going nowhere..."

"I know, Sarah," he stated. "I know what you did."

"And now you've come to take it back? To put it right? Take me back to 1981 and...?" The Doctor moved towards her, but she backed away. "No," she said. "I won't let you."

"Sarah..."

"You are _not_ taking them from me!"

"Sarah, please," he said sharply.

"You knew? All along, you knew?"

He nodded.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I will explain, I promise, but you need to come with me now."

There was something in his voice that made her next protest stop on her lips, and she nodded quietly. Leaving everything on the table she walked towards the police box. The Doctor stood back, letting her enter before following. The door was closed and seconds later the TARDIS disappeared, as if it had never been there.


	39. Chapter 39

Sarah hung near the door, watching the Doctor as he moved a number of controls on the TARDIS.

He knew? He'd always known? How?

As she studied him she realised that her fear of him taking her life away from him, putting back what she'd changed, was unfounded. He seemed... sad but it wasn't the "I'm going to hurt you" kind of sad she'd seen on his face when he was confronted with impossible choices. It was the kind of sad that she'd seen on him... That she'd seen on him when he'd told her that Peter had to break his deal.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

He said nothing.

"Doctor..."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," he said. "At Defry Vale. I couldn't..."

"Why not?"

"I could feel it," he said, walking away from the console and over to her. "That time after the wedding? Something wasn't right... Think of time like a pond. With ducks, 'cause you have to have ducks on a good pond. Anyway, time is like a pond, only ponds don't flow, but go with it anyway. Then you go and wake up in 1981 and it was like you dropped a massive rock into that pond. The TARDIS was washed up..."

"You were in 1981?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Why?"

"To stop you," he admitted. "I had to. Time... you shouldn't be able to mess with it, Sarah."

"But I did," she said, confused.

"Yeah," he smiled, "you did. But oh, you were clever with it. So proud of you!"

"What?" she asked, confused for a moment. Then she realised. "You were in that bar?" she asked.

He nodded. "I'd planned to stop you, talk to you, try and make you see sense. But then I saw you and Peter... You were so clever, Sarah."

"I thought that was all I was going to get," she said. "I thought that it was... I didn't know."

"Me either," he admitted. "And I don't like not knowing stuff."

"Speaking of not knowing," she said, "where are we?"

"Still on Earth."

"OK. _When_ are we?" she asked, silently remarking on how that kind of question was the norm with him.

"We've not gone far," he assured her.

"Why are you here?"

He said nothing, walking around the console.

"Doctor?"

"You've kept me quite busy," he said eventually. "Been chasing you all over the place."

"Chasing me?"

"Dropped a very big stone into that pond of time, Sarah. Universe has been trying to compensate for decades. Takes a bit of Time Lord know how to sort things out," he grinned, tapping his nose.

"Like what?" she asked.

"Like Nicole."

"You... what did you do?" she breathed, her mind racing. "All those...?"

"A whole other person who shouldn't be."

"I just... Liz thought it might have something to do with the Artron energy."

"Something like that. It should have dissipated long before you and Peter started trying for a baby. I knew something was wrong when..."

"You were there too?" she asked.

"I've been there for a long time," he smiled. "You looked amazing at the wedding."

"I don't believe you..."

"Like I could just leave," he said quietly, seriously, fixing her to the spot.

"So you've been... hanging around? All this time?"

He nodded.

"What did you do to me?"

The Doctor took a small pouch from his jacket pocket, turning it over so the coloured liquid sloshed about. "Little help from some nuns I know."

Sarah shivered involuntarily. "Sorry, bad experience."

"I know," he grinned. "Sorry."

"What is that?"

"Little bit of future medicine. The initial batches were... Well, let's just say this is the synthetic version. Suitable for vegetarians."

"And you gave that to me?"

"One like it at any rate. Of course then you decided you weren't going to try again..." He noticed the look of horror that flashed over her face. "I didn't do that," he said quickly. "But keeping you dosed up in hospital was easy enough, then you went home... You really don't make life easy for me."

"You... dosed me up on that stuff? Why?"

"The Artron energy was spiking in your system, causing the miscarriages. I just... countered it."

"You must have done it for the whole..." she began, then something totally insignificant clicked into place. "The vitamins Peter insisted I take every day, right?"

"That's my Sarah," he smiled. "Putting the pieces together."

"My whole life... you've been there. Watching."

"You make it sound like I was stalking you, which I guess I was, but it wasn't done in a bad stalker type way. Not as if I was standing outside your bedroom window with a telephoto lens 'cause that would just be wrong."

"So why didn't you say anything?" she asked. "All those times... I kept trying to figure out how a Time Lord didn't know!"

"Of course I knew."

"Well I didn't know that."

"I knew that too."

She glared at him, folding her arms.

"Sorry."

"So you should be. You've been... playing with my life all this time!"

"Is that what Peter said to you when you told him?" he asked, his tone gentle. "We both kept secrets because we knew it was the right thing to do."

"What I did and what you did... I just met Peter in a bar! He found me, I didn't change that."

"You stopped Mr Smith from taking Luke from you."

"Blame me?"

"I'd have been very surprised if you hadn't," he said.

"You messed about with my life!"

He couldn't help but smile. "To give you a child."

"Yeah. Well." She held the anger for about fifteen seconds before her lips curled into a smile and she shook her head and sighed. "I wish you'd said something."

"Thought about it, but you had enough on your hands trying to keep everything together."

"Think I've done OK."

"You've done more than OK. You've been amazing. The things you've done..."

"How have I done them though?" she asked. "I didn't go back in time, not like you and I went back in time. I was in my body but my mind..."

"I don't know," he said. "That's old... well, magic."

"Magic?" she scoffed. "Not a word I thought I'd hear you use."

"There were legends, whispers when I was growing up about this kind of thing but I never gave them much heed. But it's old school. Real old school."

"I met this woman, this... fortune teller. At least that's what she claimed to be. I met her a few days after the wedding the first time, then on the train back to London. Nic met her too... She's caught up in this somehow."

"Somehow," he mused, his eyes flicking towards the door.

"What?"

"Come on," he said, holding out his hand to her.

Unsure of whether she should go with him, but always unable to stop herself, she took it and allowed him to lead her outside. It was a nice, normal day, and Sarah vaguely recognised the location. Looking around she saw the huge building they'd arrived by it took her only a moment to spot the huge blue and white sign.

"Why have you...?" she began, turning to face him.

"You and Peter should never have met then," he said quietly, "but you changed time. That one moment led to so many more..."

"He found _me_," Sarah protested. "I didn't..."

"I know," the Doctor soothed. "Sarah..."

"Why have you brought me here? I don't understand..."

"The Universe protects itself," he reminded her. "And it's been trying for thirty years."

"I don't..."

"Sarah." His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

"Please..."

"Come on."

He took her hand again, and led her through the open doors. They waited for the lift and he punched in the appropriate floor.

"The Universe has been trying, in its own little way, to compensate," he said as they were lifted up. "You shouldn't be able to do what you did, but you did it. Even with help. Always knew there was something special about you. But if you know what it's going to do, if you can..."

"You were helping me..."

"You were so happy... Peter's good for you, Sarah. I wanted you to... The life you've built is fantastic. I wanted you to hang onto it for as long as possible."

He gripped her hand tighter as the doors slid open. They stepped out into the corridor and walked down to the room at the end.

"Doctor..."

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" she asked, already knowing and dreading the answer.

"This time before, you had already lost him. The Trickster's trap was broken, everyone was free... and you were grieving."

"No..."

"There was nothing I could do. I'm sorry."

The Doctor pushed open the door and Sarah's worst fears were confirmed. She pulled her hand free of his, turned on her heels and ran as if she could leave it all behind. At the other end of the hallway she found a waiting room, pushing the door shut behind her. Putting her hand over her mouth she tried to catch her breath but her chest refused to co-operate, crushing her lungs and heart

The door opened and closed quietly behind her.

"He shouldn't be here, not in this time," he said, his voice just above a whisper. "So the Universe..."

"So you brought me here to say goodbye?"

"Yes."

"What time is it?"

"Um, early afternoon I think."

"So you brought me back a few hours?"

"Yes."

"How can I say goodbye to... to him when he's like that?"

"I can give you some time together. To talk."

She turned around to face him, her arms wrapping protectively around her stomach. "How?"

He shrugged. "Same stuff that gave you Nicole. Well, not the same stuff, but same place. Time."

"Right."

"Nicole's safe," he said.

"Right," she repeated.

"Sarah..."

"When?"

"Not long."

"And you can give us... me some time with him?"

He nodded.

"How long?"

"Depends on how strong he is."

"He's strong."

"Yes he is."

"But not long?"

The Doctor shook his head. "Maybe thirty minutes? It depends."

"And then?"

"Then..."

"Right." Sarah unfolded her arms and shoved her hands into her pockets. "Right," she repeated. "Let's go."


	40. Chapter 40

Even though she'd seen him like this moments before she still couldn't breathe. The Doctor's hand slipped into hers and gave it a gentle squeeze; she barely noticed. Forcing herself to take deep, regular breaths, she took it all in. The machines, the cuts, bruises, bandages.

"His car ran off the road," the Doctor explained, "hit a tree. It... Someone saw it happen, called for an ambulance. He got here as quickly as he could have, and they tried..."

"I spoke to him," she whispered. "I called him because I was worried and I spoke to him and he said that everything was going to be OK. This isn't OK."

"They don't know who he is," the Doctor continued. "No ID, no wallet..."

"Where is it?"

"I don't know."

"Explains why no one called me."

"The crash knocked the car up a bit. In an hour or so they'll track down the registered keeper. A bit after that someone's going to come to you..."

"...And he'll be gone by then?" she asked quietly.

He nodded. "I picked you up not long before the police..."

"The kids," she said quickly. "I won't let them hear this on their own."

"I'll have you back in time," he assured her, and even though he knew the TARDIS could be a bit off when it came to times, he would make sure that this time she was spot on.

"Thank you."

The Doctor pulled a small IV bag from his jacket pocket and lightly tossed it in his hand. It was a deep purple colour, and Sarah was reminded of a bruise for some reason.

"This'll last about half an hour, give or take. Once it's gone..."

"Then what?"

"This will force his body to work properly, but he won't be able to last. He's too weak... I'm sorry."

"No, no it's OK," she said. "It's thirty minutes more than I would have had." Letting go of his hand she walked to the side of his bed. "At least this time I get a proper goodbye."

The Doctor walked to the other side, hooking up the bag on the IV stand. He attached a new tube to the cannula on the back of Peter's hand and began the flow of liquid. "I'll be outside," he said. "When this is gone he'll just go to sleep. It won't be long after that; this is really going to take it out of him."

Sarah nodded, her hand now stroking Peter's brow.

"Sarah, we'll have to leave then. You weren't here before, you can't be now, OK?"

She still wasn't really paying attention, just staring at Peter's face, waiting for that first flicker of consciousness to fight its way to the surface. When it finally happened she couldn't help but smile.

"Hey," she whispered.

"You're here," he muttered with an air of relief.

"Of course I am."

"Sarah..."

"Shhh, it's OK. It's OK."

"Is it?" he asked, his eyes fluttering open. As soon as he locked his gaze onto hers, his face changed. "Oh."

"We have about half an hour," she explained. "The Doctor's help. He's giving you something, not quite sure what it is really, but we get this time." Her free hand found his and she curled her fingers around his palm.

"To say goodbye," Peter said.

"To say goodbye," she whispered. She could feel the hot prick of tears behind her eyes and she willed them to go away.

"It's OK to cry," he told her.

"No it's not." Removing the hand from his brow she wiped them away. "I'm not doing this now. Not..."

"Oh love."

With that she lost it and the tears came freely. Leaning over the bed she rested her head on his chest, allowing him to stroke her hair with the hand she wasn't still grasping tightly.

* * *

He'd shifted over as best he could so that she could climb up next to him. The tears and sobs had subsided but not gone, and every time he pressed his lips to the top of her head she felt like she was going to start all over again.

"I thought we were gonna be OK," she said. "I thought that because we'd made it through yesterday..."

"Luck ran out," he said softly, his hand still playing with her hair.

"This isn't fair..."

"Sarah, this is completely fair. I shouldn't be here."

"Yes you should," she protested, "because otherwise Nic shouldn't be here and I can't lose her too."

"You won't."

"How do you know that? This morning I didn't think I was going to lose you."

"I know, love," he said. "I just know."

"At least I get to say goodbye to you this time."

"You didn't before?"

"You were there and then you... you went. As soon as your deal with the Trickster was broken time was put back..."

"And I died in that accident."

"Alone, in your house..."

"This is preferable," he whispered into her hair.

"Lousy choices though."

"Well, yeah," he laughed before hissing in pain. "Think I busted some ribs when the car rolled."

"What happened?" she asked.

"I don't really remember. I was driving along and then... I woke up in a field – the car had crashed into a tree. The paramedics were there and they gave me something for the pain, and then nothing. Until now."

"Suspect the police will tell me."

"Probably."

"You didn't have your wallet on you?"

"No, left it at the client's. When you called me I was on my way back to collect it."

"Just wondered, that's all," she said, linking her fingers with his. As she did so, something triggered in her mind and she lifted them up. "No ring," she remarked, looking at the bare finger on his left hand.

"I don't..." he said, his face screwing up in either confusion or pain – she couldn't tell which.

"It doesn't matter," she said quickly.

He let out a long deep breath and almost smiled. "It's funny, but if this is my last half hour here, with you, then I'd have thought I'd have so much to say to you."

"Me too," she admitted.

"Don't think there's anything left to say. Except maybe thank you."

"Thank you?"

"Because of you, I have had the most amazing life. Doubt what it was before was anything like this."

"Probably not," she laughed.

"And I'm so sorry I gave you such a hard time over it all."

"Peter..."

"No, I really need to say this. I nearly ruined our marriage because of it and nothing is worth that. You and me, Sarah... I can't imagine loving anyone more."

"Me either," she whispered. "And I'm sorry too."

"You, Nicole, Luke... Having my family... It's been everything."

"It's been great."

"Amazing."

"Brilliant," she laughed softly.

"So thank you. For saving me, for all of this."

"Feel like I should thank you now," she continued. "I didn't know if I could balance what I had before with a life with you... Before I didn't tell you what Luke and I did. The Trickster wanted me to stop defending Earth, but before all that... I didn't know how you'd deal with it."

"So it wasn't that you didn't trust me?" he quipped.

"I couldn't just spring it on you. 'Oh, by the way, I used to go travelling through time and space in a police box.' Sounds almost certifiable."

"You are," he joked, kissing her head once more.

"But there was a part of me that hoped, that wondered... Could I tell you? Could I share all this with you?"

"I'm glad you did."

"Really?"

"Really. Only thing I'm going to regret missing out on is a chance to see what's out there. Your stories... It sounded so beautiful."

"It was. It is. But it's also terrifying and dangerous. I wouldn't have wanted to risk you for anything."

"Bit late now to start worrying about what'll hurt me," he said in an attempt at a joke, but it failed.

"I love you," she whispered after a moment.

"I love you too. More than you could know."

"Think I've got a pretty good idea."

"No, you don't, not yet."

"What?"

"It'll get better, I promise."

"Peter..."

"Just give it time, love. And don't have a go at him. I know you will and I know you'll hate him, but try. All I'm asking is that you try."

Sarah propped herself up to look at the IV bag. The final drops were beginning to make their way down the tube to his hand.

"And talk to Nicole. Just once in a while. She needs reminding that you'd do anything for her."

"Peter..."

"Tell Luke he was the son I always imagined having. That final miscarriage? Convinced it was a boy. Black curls, big smile." He tried to hold her gaze but it was getting harder to stay awake. "I love you... so much."

"I love you too," she whispered, the tears beginning to fall freely. "Please don't leave me... I can't do this on my own."

"You're not on your own, you never will be," he muttered, his eyelids drifting closed. "You'll be fine, love. I just know it."

"Not without you."

"See you soon." His voice was slurring a little, and Sarah gently stroked his cheek. "Good way to go. Girl of my dreams by my side."

"I'm not going anywhere," she said quietly. "I'm going to be here all the way."

"You have... go, can't..."

She ignored his feeble protests, choosing instead to press a gentle kiss to his mouth. "I love you, Peter."

"And I love you. Sarah Jane Dalton."

His final words now, echoing his final words then, shot a bolt of electricity down her spine. Peter's eyes closed fully and remained so; no sign of movement or consciousness. It was over.

Laying back down, Sarah prepared herself for the end. Her head rested on his chest, listening to the dulling thuds of his heart. It was only when a pair of hands were placed on her shoulders that she moved.

"We have to go," the Doctor said gently.

"I said I'd stay with him," she protested.

"You can't. Any minute now they're going to come racing in here because his heart has stopped..."

"Then what's one more minute?" she challenged. "I won't leave him. I can't."

"Sarah." His voice was louder, slightly harder. "We have to go."

"I can't..." she said, but she barely resisted as he pulled her from the bed and guided her towards the door.

She moved backwards, keeping her eyes on Peter until the door swung shut. Not fifteen seconds later alarms sounded and various doctors and nurses leapt into action, beginning the futile attempts to keep his heart going. The final scraps of strength dissolved and her legs nearly went with it. As the absolute devastation crippled her, she let the Doctor carry her weight as she sobbed for her husband.


	41. Chapter 41

He didn't know what to say to her, realising there was probably nothing he could say that would have an impact. She'd stopped resisting him at some point but she'd not exactly helped him either, and as such he'd pretty much had to drag her back into the TARDIS. Thank goodness she was a tiny little thing, otherwise he'd have struggled.

She was in no hurry to go home, he knew that, so he put them in orbit and he waited. He tapped a few things on the console. He got out his sonic screwdriver and did some repairs. He made a cup of tea (strong and milky) and put it down beside her.

She still didn't move.

"Sarah," he ventured after nearly an hour.

"I don't know what happens next," she muttered. "After thirty years of knowing... I thought I could deal with this."

"Trust me," he said, sitting on the step next to her, "knowing is not always a good thing."

"Is this because I told him?" she asked suddenly, angling her face slightly towards him.

"No," he replied quickly, but not sure if it was a lie or not.

She nodded, wanting to believe him even if it wasn't true. "Thank you. For letting me say goodbye."

The Doctor put his arm around her and pulled her body in against his. She didn't do anything, just remained as rigid and cold against his chest as she'd been when he'd been half-carrying her out of the hospital. Her sobbing had died away by the time they got into the TARDIS and it seemed like a part of her had died too. There had been nothing from her after that, no indication that she was thinking or feeling or doing anything other than existing. The Doctor knew enough about human relationships to know that was a very likely scenario.

"How do I do this without him?" she asked. "I thought it was bad before but this..."

"You'll cope, Sarah," he replied softly.

"I can't."

"You can," he assured her, kissing the top of her head.

Immediately she sat up, pulling away from him.

"What?" he asked, unsure of what he'd done wrong.

"Just... leave me," she muttered. That was his thing, Peter's. Not the Doctor's.

"Sarah..."

"I wish you'd never got involved," she said, her voice a little louder this time. "I wish you'd just let everything play out."

"I couldn't..."

"Yes you could have. Just walked away, left us alone."

"Left you suffering? I could never do that..."

"And what do you call this?" she snapped.

"At least you have..." he started, but he trailed off.

"Have what?" she asked after a few seconds' silence. "Memories? Our daughter?" She caught the look that passed across his face and her jaw dropped slightly. "What? "

"You shouldn't have had a child, Sarah," he whispered. "You shouldn't have had him and you shouldn't have had Nicole. Now I helped but... Didn't work a second time, even though I tried. I'm so..."

"Don't you _dare_ apologise," she snapped. "Don't... Just leave me alone."

"Sarah."

She said nothing else, just turned her head away from him. He sat beside her for half an hour before deciding that while this may pass as normal it wasn't exactly healthy. And that he could do something about.

* * *

As soon as the TARDIS had materialised in the attic, the Doctor pulled back the door and stuck his head out.

Then he yelped in surprise.

"Oh you don't half look like your mum," he said to Nicole who was staring at him, arms folded. "Same attitude and everything."

"Where's Mum?" she asked. "I assume she's with you, seeing as one minute she's in the garden and the next she's gone."

He nodded, but there was something about his expression that stopped the rant Nicole had been working on.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concern rising.

"Come in."

The Doctor's mind, whilst overwhelmed with concern for one of his oldest and dearest friends, couldn't help but be impressed that Nicole's sole focus was her mother. She didn't stop to do the age old 'it's bigger on the inside' bit, she wasn't enchanted by the technology. He'd have been a bit put out if it weren't for the bigger picture.

"Mum?" Nicole said softly as she crouched in front of her. "Mum, it's me. What's happened to her?" she asked the Doctor.

"She..." he began, then sighed. "She's OK. Physically at least."

"What have you done to her?" Nicole raged, bounding up the steps to confront him. "I swear if you've hurt her then no amount of regeneration energy is going to save you."

It was almost amusing; Nicole was almost the spitting image of the Sarah Jane he'd first met all those years ago, and therefore the same height and build. But here she was, a tiny little thing, taking on a 900-and-then-some year old alien because her mother was suffering. And she wasn't even batting an eyelid.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Believe it or not, I wanted to help."

"Help? My mother's catatonic! Is this a regular outcome of you helping, 'cause if so then don't ever volunteer for the Samaritans, OK?"

Nicole walked away from him and went back to Sarah, crouching down in front of her mother and taking her hands in hers. "Mum, it's me."

Sarah blinked and her eyes seemed to focus on Nicole's. Without saying anything, Sarah put her hands on her daughter's face, her fingertips tracing a loop around her eyes; Peter's eyes.

"Please, Mum, this is scaring me," Nicole whispered. "What's happened?"

"There..." Sarah struggled to find her voice, and gave a small cough to clear her throat. "There was... an accident."

"Are you OK?" Nicole asked quickly, throwing a murderous glance over at the Doctor. "What happened?"

"I'm fine," Sarah assured her. "But... Peter... Your father..."

Instantly Nicole understood. There was only one outcome that would have provoked this reaction in her mother. "No..." she whispered. "Mum..." Looking back over at the Doctor she started to get to her feet before she was pulled back down. "What did he...?"

"It wasn't the Doctor's fault," Sarah told her, "he... It was an accident, that's all."

"I gave her the chance to say goodbye before he..." the Doctor explained, his voice heavy and quiet. "I'm sorry I couldn't do the same for you and Luke."

"No, Mum... Please... Tell me it's not true," Nicole begged, her eyes – Peter's eyes – welling up with tears.

"It's going to be OK, little one," Sarah said, her voice louder and stronger than before. "We're going to be OK. I promise."

Sarah pulled Nicole in to her chest and held her there while her daughter sobbed her grief out. She repeated her promise over and over, whispering gently as she stroked Nicole's hair. The Doctor watched them for a moment before stepping outside, pulling the door to. He sat on the step in the attic, hung his head, and finally allowed one tear to slip down his nose.

* * *

Sarah gently stroked Nicole's hair as the pair of them sat in silence. Bending over she pressed a kiss onto her daughter's head, breathing in deeply.

"What happens now?" Nicole said, her voice muffled slightly into her mother's jeans.

"I don't know, love."

"No, I mean... Are the police going to turn up or something? Try and do the 'we have news' thing?"

Suddenly she remembered what the Doctor had said and she tensed.

"That would be a yes then?"

"Yeah. Guess they'll be turning up soon."

"That'll be interesting," Nicole said with a snort. "Breaking bad news to someone in the know?"

Sarah couldn't help but laugh softly. "I guess."

"Luke'll be home soon."

"Where is he?"

"Out with Clyde and Rani. We should call him..."

"No," Sarah said quickly. "There's nothing he can do, just... let him have this, OK?"

"Yeah. He should enjoy himself while..."

"Your dad wanted me to tell you something."

"What?" Nicole asked, sitting up and looking at her.

Sarah took her daughter's face in her hands, looking into the eyes she'd gotten from her father. "He loved you _so_ much. And he was so, so proud of you. So am I for that matter."

Nicole pressed her lips together and nodded, trying to fight back the tears. "Nothing about his car?" she managed to quip.

Sarah laughed in spite of herself, and soon the Dalton women were crying tears of a different – and more welcome kind.

* * *

"Mum?" Luke called out as he opened the front door. "Mrs Chandra said you were..."

He stopped as he saw his sister sat on one of the lower steps, his mother standing nearby. Confirmation of bad news came when the Doctor ventured out of the kitchen, hands shoved into his pockets.

"What?" Luke asked.

"Come on, love," Sarah said to him, holding out her hand to him and leading him into the living room.

Nicole remained the step, counting down the seconds in her head until she heard Luke's protests give way to tears and their mother's reassurance. "It doesn't seem real," she said, her voice dull. She kept staring into the middle distance, in the general direction of the front door, as if her father were going to walk through it at any moment. "When does it feel real?"

"It's different for everyone," the Doctor said. "But it will."

"That's gonna hurt."

"Yeah."

"Thought so."

"How are you feeling now?" he asked.

Nicole got to her feet and went and stood in the doorway to the living room. Sarah was holding Luke, comforting the distraught teenager. "Numb," she decided on. "I think... I think I'm still trying to get used to the idea of forever. That I'm never going to see him again. Right now it's like he's working late. Or he's away on some trip. When I first went off to Uni it was... days sometimes without speaking, longer without seeing each other. Then when I... was away, that was... Been trying to work out what's the longest I've gone without any kind of contact with Dad. Once I've gone past that, I think that's when it's going to be real."

The Doctor moved over to her, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her body in close.

"Everything's going to be OK, right?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said. "It'll be fine."

"I believe you. I don't know why, but I believe you."

The four of them froze when there was a knock on the front door. Sarah glanced out of the window and caught sight of the tell-tale reflective panels on the car.

"I can't..." she said.

"It's OK," the Doctor said. "Leave it to me." He detached himself from Nicole and opened the door. "Gentlemen," he greeted, looking from one officer to the other.

"Is Mrs Dalton in?" the older one asked, removing his cap in the tactful protocol-demanding way he'd always done.

"Yeah," the Doctor said, pulling the psychic paper from his pocket. "I'm Dr Smith, from the hospital? I saw Peter... I thought it was best coming from someone the family know, sorry if I've stepped on your toes."

The younger officer – the one with his cap still on – looked relieved at being let off from having to give his first bit of bad news.

"Right, well," the more seasoned officer said, putting his cap back on. "I suppose it is better coming from a friend of the family."

"It was appreciated," Sarah chimed in, joining them at the door.

"Our condolences, Mrs Dalton," the older officer said. "If there's anything you need," he added, holding out the card which she took. "We have a support network in place..."

"Thank you, but I'll be fine," she said. "Unless there's anything else...?"

"No, no we'll... leave you be."

"I'm so very sorry," the younger officer finally said. "I can't imagine what it must be like for you."

Sarah turned to look at him whilst his partner grabbed his arm, ready to haul him away.

"Thank you," Sarah said, her voice warm with obvious gratitude.

The younger officer shook his arm free from his partner, and finally removed his cap. "Those guys are really good," he said, gesturing towards the card, "really helped my mum out."

"I'll think about it," she said.

"Just most people think they're OK about it, then one day... Don't want to see that happen to you."

"I don't think my kids would let me," she smiled.

"I think we should be going," the older officer said, taking his colleague's arm again.

"What's your name?" Sarah asked the young man.

"Um, Smith... John Smith," the young man stammered. "You take care, yeah?" he added before he was dragged off.

Sarah only just managed to close the door before she and the Doctor descended into inappropriate laughter.


	42. Chapter 42

As word spread the stream of well-wishers began. The Doctor managed to head most of them off at the door, but Gita would not be easily swayed from her quest.

"Oh nonsense, Jim..."

"John," he corrected with a sigh.

"Of course," she said with a wave of her hand. "Look, Sarah and I go way back. Times like this, she needs me, whether she knows it or not."

"Oh Sarah and I go way back too," the Doctor muttered as she barged past him. He pushed the door shut and followed her through to the kitchen where Sarah had just been attacked by the most clinging hug he'd ever seen. "Cup of tea?" he offered in a vain attempt to give Sarah some space.

"You poor, poor love," Gita said to Sarah, ignoring the Doctor. "Those poor children. Well, I'm here now. Anything you need, we're here for you. Haresh said Luke can have all the time he needs – bright boy like that he'll soon catch up though, yeah? All you need now is to take things easy. Oh you poor, poor thing."

As she was pulled into another hug, Sarah shot a look at the Doctor that screamed a message he didn't have to pick out of her mind : help me.

Knowing he'd need reinforcements he headed upstairs, knocking on Nicole's bedroom door. There was no response, but he picked up the soft sound of crying from inside. Taking a chance, he opened the door anyway and walked in.

"Nicole?" he ventured, looking at the small figure curled up on the bed. His hearts ached instinctively as he was reminded of a younger Sarah Jane; his companion from many lifetimes ago.

"I don't want to see anyone," she muttered, "that's why I didn't invite you in."

"I'm on a mercy mission."

"To save me from my grief?"

"To save your mum from Gita."

"Oh hell," Nicole muttered, rolling over and for the first time he saw what she'd been curled up with. "What?" she asked, spotting his observation.

"The owl..."

"Yeah?"

"Your mum had that."

"Been mine since I was a kid."

"That's nice." He wondered what to say next, eventually going with, "Gita's not one to be put off easily, is she?"

"Not really," Nicole said with a hollow laugh.

"Reminds me of a few mothers I knew."

"I don't think I want to know."

"Not really."

"Right. Best go rescue Mum," Nicole said, getting to her feet.

"Who's going to rescue you?" he asked.

"I don't need rescue."

The Doctor regarded her for a moment, silently challenging her assertion that everything was OK. Nicole was too much her mother's daughter so she didn't back down.

"Let's go," she said firmly, walking out of her room, leaving the owl discarded behind her.

* * *

  
Nicole very firmly told Gita to leave her family alone and that they'd call her in the (un)likely event that they needed anything. When it was just them Nicole guided her mother to the living room, made her sit on the sofa with a large mug of tea, and began work on dinner. No one was hungry but they had to eat and she wasn't about to let any of them starve.

Five minutes into her preparation she pulled out a dish that her father had given her when she started up her business and it broke the dam she'd only just built.

The Doctor closed the living room door behind him and went to sit next to Sarah on the sofa. She had her feet up, hugging her knees to her chest.

"I don't think it's sinking in," she said. "Not really."

"I can stay," he told her, "as long as you need me to."

"Thank you."

"Least I can do."

"No, thank you. I don't know if I could... You're the only one I can really talk to about this," she whispered. "You know what he meant to me, what I did for him. You know how I felt last time... I just had him for months, this is years... This is a lifetime. This is thirty years, a daughter, a family... There was a hole in my heart, now there's a hole in my life, my home... That sounds... I can't even think straight at the moment. This morning everything was... and now it's..."

He sat in silence, listening to her half form sentences and ideas, trailing off as the thought disappeared or she couldn't think of how to finish it off. Sarah Jane Dalton; feminist, independent woman, award-winning journalist. Lost for words. Losing Peter had really broken her – but he knew that already.

Putting an arm around her, he just waited. He knew what was coming, he knew how tonight would play out and he knew in two weeks' time... When she found out there would be screams, yelling, Nicole would probably have a go at him if her mother didn't. Luke? He'd just be disappointed. He knew that the lad looked up to him, was fascinated by him and the TARDIS. If things had been different, if he'd not been the adopted son of his best friend, then he'd have seriously considered asking the boy to come with him. Having someone who could keep up with him intellectually? That would be amazing. Been a long time since anyone had managed to keep up with him.

But Sarah would have a few words to say about this, and Peter would have had only one. Now there was no way he'd leave his mother. He'd seen how Luke and Nicole were with their mother, how they looked at her. That fierce love and protectiveness; they'd do anything and everything for her, follow her into any situation with trust and love and enthusiasm.

They'd hate him too. Nicole had shown signs of inheriting her mother's temper and so he was certain that if Sarah didn't have it in her to take out her inevitable feelings on him, her daughter would most certainly step up. Ironically, he realised, he was more than a little responsible for putting the players in position to destroy a friendship that had spanned decades and regenerations.

"I can't think straight," she declared, resting her head on his shoulder. "I keep thinking... wondering. What was it like for him at the end? The accident. What happened. He's a good driver. He _was_ a good driver," she corrected, forcing herself to use the past tense, tasting it on her tongue.

"Things happen," he replied.

"There's so much I want to ask him. It's weird. In the hospital I couldn't think of anything and now it's all I can do."

"It's natural. So I'm told."

"Might start writing them down. Think that'll help?"

"I think most things are worth trying."

"You OK?" she asked, sitting up so she could look at him.

"Isn't that what I should be asking you?"

Giving a small shrug she lay back down, pressing her ear against his chest. The rhythmic thud-thud, thud-thud, a familiar comfort but different. It reminded her of laying with Peter in this way, but it was different enough that she could keep that bit locked away in her mind of 'things that belong to Peter'.

"Have to start arranging the funeral tomorrow," she muttered. "No idea where to begin. I mean, we talked about it but all I could think about was... before, and I never really wanted to... You know one thing I never got? The funeral's supposed to be for us, so we can say goodbye. Only what if he wants something I hate?"

"I'm sure he wouldn't," the Doctor reassured her. "And I'm sure he would have made notes for you."

"What makes you say that?"

"He just... seemed like the type," he covered, but he knew that already her mind was beginning to work overtime.

"All these little things I want to know," she said quietly. "What he would want, flowers, music, all that. I wish... I wish I'd been with him. Wish someone had been with him. I hate the thought of him being alone, it reminds me of... before."

"Sarah..."

"I don't want to go to sleep tonight. I've had those nightmares before and I don't... I can't... He was on his own before. Dying in the cold, no one with him..."

"You were with him though," he said.

"Not for the accident. Not there, not then. What he must have been thinking... Was he thinking about me? The kids?"

"Of course," the Doctor said instantly, "you were all he could think about."

"Really?"

"He loved you, Sarah."

"He left us."

"He had to."

The exchange was quick, but he could have stopped it if he wanted. Only he knew better. This was how it was meant to play out. She was supposed to find out and he was supposed to lose her.

Sometimes he hated knowing what was coming next.


	43. Chapter 43

_"I told you, I don't want you here. I don't want to ever see you again, can't you understand that?"_

_ "What?" _

_ "Why today? Today of all days I just want to be left to deal with this... mess you have helped to put my family in. I can't even throw a handful of dirt into the grave because... You need to go. I told you I never wanted to see you again. I want you out of my life, Doctor. I want to, as much as I possibly can, forget that you and I ever met."_

_

* * *

_  
They were on their feet now, Sarah with her arms folded and staring at him, waiting for the answer that she was starting to work out for herself.

"Sarah..."

"Just say it. Be honest with me for once, Doctor. You owe me that at least."

He shoved his hands into his pockets and forced himself to look at her. "I was there. With him."

"I'd worked that much out. Why?"

"Sarah..."

"Why were you there?"

"Does it matter?"

"To me, yes. It matters. You were with my husband when he had his accident and I want to know why."

"Because I had to be."

"You told me it was a fixed moment in time... That's because you were there, isn't it? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything..."

"I don't believe you."

"Sarah... he was supposed to die today. He had to die today."

"So if this was always going to happen then why did you need to be there? Unless you made it happen."

He said nothing and she knew him well enough to know what his expression meant. Her heart almost stopped.

"Oh god..." she breathed. "This is not happening. This cannot be happening."

"Sarah..."

"You made this happen. You made all this happen... If you'd not got involved then he'd still be here, wouldn't he?"

"Yes, but..."

"You took him from me?" she asked, her voice raising a few notches.

"No, I wouldn't..."

"You were there, with him. You were involved and now he's dead. I am never going to see him again, my children have lost their father... and you did that to us."

"If you will just let me explain," he implored, only slightly relieved when she stopped. "Yes, I was there. He was supposed to die, Sarah. That was fixed. Time was reset but only to the point where you changed it."

"But we passed the reset day..."

"Time doesn't work like that, it's... bit more fluid than that. When everything was in place... It's complicated. You had all the time you changed over again."

"So why did you have to be there?"

"The Trickster," he said, the name knocking the breath from her body.

"He saw what I'd done, he knew. When I first met him – in this timeline – he knew. He saw it... He messed with Nicole's head because of it!"

"He knew that Peter was supposed to die... so he tried to prevent it. If Peter didn't die then the chaos it would have created? The world would have been his. He would have stopped Peter dying..."

"So you stepped in?" she challenged, her voice rising again in anger. "You what? Talked him into it?"

"Sarah..."

"Would you have ever told me?"

He couldn't answer that, so she took his silence as something else.

"You'd have carried on lying to me. For thirty years you let me think you had no idea of what I'd done, then this morning you turn up in my garden telling me that not only have you always known, but that because of you I have a daughter? You have been controlling my life for three decades and now... now you've done this to me? To my kids?"

"If there was any way, Sarah..."

"You always found a way when you wanted to before."

"Not always," he challenged.

"When it _mattered_ you would. I thought I mattered to you."

"When I _could_," he retorted. "It was a fixed point, Sarah. There was nothing I could do."

"You told me time couldn't be changed, that the Universe protected itself."

"It does."

"And yet here I am. I have a daughter, Doctor. I have a beautiful girl who breaks my heart when I look at her because all I see is him. I can't even look at my own daughter without preparing myself first because one look at her eyes and I feel like this... like I'm going to fall into this hole that's in my chest. And it's so much bigger than before and it's tearing me apart. I have lost the man I love a second time, but this time... You. You took him from me."

"I had to get involved, Sarah, and I'm so, so sorry..."

"I need you to leave," she said quietly.

"What?"

"I really need you to leave now."

"We need to talk about this."

"No, we don't."

"Sarah..."

"There's things I need to tell you."

"And I don't want to hear them. You need to... You have to go now before I do something we're both going to regret."

At that moment Nicole walked in, throwing the oven glove over her shoulder. "Right, dinner will be... What?" she asked, sensing the mood she'd interrupted.

"The Doctor's leaving," Sarah said.

"What? Why? You said you'd be here," Nicole challenged, misreading her mother's upset as a consequence of his impending departure instead of the cause.

"It's her choice," the Doctor said.

"Mum?"

"Just leave it, Nic. Please."

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Nicole asked, looking from one to the other. "Because right now I am in _no_ mood for this."

Sarah was only just aware of Luke joining his sister in the doorway, and somewhere in the back of her mind she was relieved that he wasn't hiding out in his room any longer. But she was still looking at the Doctor, daring him.

_Go on. Tell them. Tell them you killed their father._

"Because of me, Peter is dead," he said.

For a moment she was surprised but then she began to suspect he'd picked up on what she was thinking.

"What?" Nicole breathed, barely moving in the doorway.

"He was always supposed to die today, but the Trickster changed things. If I hadn't got involved..."

"Then Dad would still be alive?" Nicole asked. For a second she hesitated, then she went for him.

The speed and force with which this slight young woman attacked the Doctor surprised everyone in the room. Nicole's hands pounded against every part of his body that she could make significant contact with and he stumbled back, relieved when Sarah stepped in and pulled her now sobbing daughter away from him.

"Get out," Sarah hissed to him. "Get out of my house, get out of my life. I don't ever want to see you again, hear from you again, or even suspect that you've been anywhere near me, my family or my friends. Do you understand? I don't care how many times you regenerate, I don't care what your face is. I will know, you hear me? I will _know_ if you come near me."

"I am..."

"Don't you _DARE_," she yelled at him, putting herself in between Nicole and the Doctor to prevent a second attack. "Don't you dare tell us that you are sorry. We are going to be picking up the pieces of what you did for a long time." Turning around to face Nicole she took a deep breath before forcing herself to look into those eyes. "Go with Luke, sweetheart. I'll be with you in a moment."

"Mum..."

"Please."

"You said the Trickster was involved?" Luke said, finally speaking.

The Doctor nodded.

"So what? If Dad didn't... then the world would be his?"

The Doctor nodded again.

"You did what you did to save the world?"

"Yes," he said, the relief evident.

Luke walked over to his mother and sister, taking the latter's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "That wasn't your choice to make," he said bluntly. "It would have been nice to have been consulted." Pulling on Nicole's hand slightly he began to lead her upstairs.

"I can understand why you did what you did," Sarah told him in a dull voice. "I can. It was the same as it was before. But you would never have told me. I would never have known how or why, beyond the idea that 'it was meant to be'. And I can't live my life like that, Doctor. He was my husband. He was my best friend, my soul mate... the father to my children. Peter and I shared _everything_ and I need to know..." She took a deep breath. "You should have told me. Before."

"I couldn't."

"Wouldn't," she corrected. "You and Peter, you..." She stopped suddenly as the realisation dawned. "You were there. You were there when I called him, weren't you? I remember thinking that he seemed distant... You were there. You were talking him into killing himself... And there's only one reason he wouldn't tell me. If you told him not to."

"Sarah..."

"I never want to see you again. Do you understand me?" Her voice was calm and level, but the threat was real. "You and I are over. Whatever we had... whatever relationship you and I shared? That's gone."

He said nothing, knowing better than to argue with her. "Goodbye, Sarah," he said. "It was..."

"Yeah, it was," she said in response to his unfinished statement. Then she turned on her heel and went after her children, joining them in the attic as the faint sounds of the TARDIS disappeared on the wind.


	44. Chapter 44

Nicole and Luke had gone to bed somewhere around two in the morning. Sarah knew neither of them would actually sleep but after the tears and hugs and tentative funeral plans they just craved their own space. But she couldn't face it. She couldn't face going up to that bed that they had shared, that he had left her in that morning and that he would never join her in again. Even the spare bed held memories for her, ones that she couldn't face just yet.

One of his jackets was hanging from the back of a chair and she pulled it on. Well, it's what you did in these situations, wasn't it? As she pulled the fabric around her she realised why people found comfort in this as his scent filled her nose. The change in her thoughts and her reaction was immediate and she pulled it off as quickly as possible, throwing the offending item onto the chair. She couldn't do this. She couldn't cope with having him that close but not here.

Sitting cross legged on the sofa, she stared at it, a million thoughts running through her head. So much to sort out, so much to do.

She should make a list.

Getting up she walked over to the table where she kept notebooks and pens but there wasn't one there. She began to look for some paper, all the while adding things to the mental list she was forming.

Clothing could go to a number of charity shops, that's how this worked wasn't it? There would be some things she'd want to keep though. Maybe a shirt or two? Just in case she felt like playing the grieving widow. Maybe the kids would want something too. There was that t-shirt that Nic had bought him for Christmas last year as a joke. Something about being the second-best father because St Nick had first place.

She should also get someone from the office over to check for any important papers. They were all over the place – but apparently there were no notepads.

"I'm a journalist for crying out loud!" she exclaimed, throwing down her bag in exasperation. "Why can you never find the one thing you need?"

She went back into the hall to look again, but as she turned she spotted the photo that had hung in pride of place since they moved in. On the day they'd picked up the keys she'd left all the boxes in the van, choosing to carry in this one photo. Peter had laughed at her as she'd hung it up straight away but she'd always known where she would put it.

"You're insane." He'd walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "But still just as beautiful."

"Just wanted to make this house ours. And you're just sucking up."

"Blame me?" he'd asked, kissing the hollow of her neck.

Years on, standing in the same spot and looking at a photo that Harry had taken of them on their wedding day, Sarah could almost feel Peter's mouth on her neck. The picture had been a favourite from the second they'd seen it. Harry's random snap had caught them in an unguarded moment, a perfect moment.

It had been during the speeches; Sarah had glanced away, her hand over her mouth to cover laughter at some joke that had been made. Her body, however, was angled towards Peter, leaning slightly into him. Peter's attention was solely on his new wife and you could tell that all he was thinking about, all he was aware of, was her. Peter had loved it because it was – as he put it – an 'accurate representation' of the best day of his life. Sarah had loved it because it was proof. Tangible, undeniable and beautiful proof that he loved, worshipped and adored her. That she had been able to marry her soul mate, become Mrs Dalton.

Staring at the photo, pride of place at the bottom of the stairs, Sarah's hand drifted to the same hollow of her neck, gently stroking the skin in the way his lips once had. Then she walked into the kitchen, immediately laying her hands on a notepad and pen. Sitting at the table she began the list.

* * *

  
Nicole had tried to sleep but failed, her mind was racing. Every two minutes she kept checking to see if she was real or if she was fading away. Maybe she would be next, maybe the Universe was going to take her and she didn't want to die. She was just getting her life together.

This thing with Scott was real, she knew that. She was one hundred percent, head over heels in love with him. When she'd called him to tell him about her father his immediate reaction was to drop everything and come around, even though he was caught up in emergency presentation mode at work. She was more important to him and he'd taken some convincing not to come over, the main reason being that she didn't want the first meeting of her boyfriend and her mother to be today. Not today. Not the day that they lost the most important person to them both, the one that held them together. When mother and daughter were drifting apart he'd been the one binding them together, keeping them tethered. Now Nicole felt like she was going to drift off at any moment and there was no one to keep her down.

Giving up on sleep, she pulled on an old jumper and went downstairs for a drink. Finding her mother still up, fighting sleep, wasn't that big a surprise and she understood why.

"Come on," Nic said quietly, putting her hands on Sarah's shoulders.

"Nic..."

"Come on."

Sarah followed her upstairs, relieved when Nic led her into her room. They curled up together, mother behind daughter. Sarah was holding on tightly to the most important piece of physical evidence of Peter that she still had, Nicole's hand clasped with Sarah's over her stomach as if clinging to her mother would keep her here and keep her safe.

* * *

  
It was early when Sarah woke, surprised that she'd actually managed to sleep. Nicole was still in her arms and she found herself stroking her daughter's hair, pulling strands from her face and neck where they'd gotten stuck with sweat.

The last time she'd shared a bed with her daughter Nic had been eight years old. She'd had appendicitis (Sarah had been convinced her precious daughter was dying and it had taken Peter a good twenty minutes to just get her to listen to him) and they had just brought her home from the hospital.

It was the first time anything had been seriously wrong with Nicole and the young girl had got it into her mind that she was about to die. Sarah and Peter had both tried to reassure her but through floods of tears Nicole had pointed out, quite reasonably, that her friend Claire's mum had gone into hospital for a "routine operation" and died of resulting complications at home three days later.

To pacify their terrified daughter (and, if Sarah was honest, themselves), Nicole had slept in their bed for the required three nights. Once the fateful date had passed their daughter came to her senses, declared herself to be fine, and informed her parents that they were never to speak of it again.

Now here she was and she didn't know which one of them was more terrified. She knew how to live her life alone, she remembered it from before. It was just that she didn't want to. Not now. She knew what it meant to share her home and her heart with someone and now she had to figure out how to do it without him.

Gently stroking Nicole's hair her thoughts drifted to all the things she would need to do today. So many calls to make, so many people to tell and to talk to about... things. Stuff. Stuff that she'd not done since she'd lost Lavinia.

Stuff that could wait, just a little bit longer. Breathing in deeply the sweet scent of Nic's conditioner, Sarah lay her head back down on the pillow beside her and just waited for someone else in the house to do something.

* * *

  
Sarah followed Luke up to the attic, confused as to what was so urgent. Pausing only to gently stroke K9 she looked from her children to Mr Smith. "So... what's going on?" she asked.

"I just wanted to speak to Mr Smith," Luke began, "and he told me something."

"What?"

_Peter gave me something for you, Sarah Jane,_ Mr Smith said. _He was aware that something like this may happen and he wanted you to know something._

"Know what?" Sarah whispered.

Nicole held out her hand to reveal the hologram transmitter. "There's a letter too, but you need to see this first."

_His instructions were very specific._

"What instructions?"

_I was to give the transmitter and letter to you twenty four hours after his death. He wanted you and the children to be present when you played the message._

"Right," Sarah said, lifting the disc from her daughter's hands. "This had better be decent, Peter," she muttered with a small smile, finding the button and pressing it. After a second it flickered into life and the image of Peter appeared in the attic.

"If you are seeing this, then either Mr Smith has broken his word, or... You know. I don't know how, or when, but Sarah... I hope you're not blaming yourself. You shouldn't blame yourself, no matter when this happened. Some things are just beyond us and we have to accept what the Universe has in store for us.

"Nic, Luke, I'm counting on you two to stop your mother going on a guilt trip, OK?."

The hologram smiled gently before glancing down. "Well... Where to begin?" he said, his voice slightly hollow and ethereal. "You all know how much I love you. You three are my world, my whole universe. And I am not going to get all sentimental over this. The whole point of this message, assuming that I have actually managed to switch it on properly and I'm not just stood here talking to myself..."

Peter stopped as he seemed to check the recording device. Unable to stop themselves, Sarah and Nic giggled.

"Not talking to myself. That's good. Now stop giggling, Sarah, and pay attention. I know you so I know you're probably tying yourself up in knots wondering exactly what to do, the practicalities of it all. What I'd like, what you should do... Consider this a more personal version of my last will and testament.

"To be honest... I don't mind. Really. I only have one request, love, and that is non-negotiable. No black. I don't want any traditional mourning, OK? Besides, you look better in colours. You all do."

Sarah stared at the representation of Peter, taking in every last detail so that she could be certain of remembering it all.

"Nicole... my little girl. My headstrong and beautiful little girl. Just one message for you. Talk to your mother once in a while. I don't care what your reasons or your excuses for silence are, you will talk to her. Even if it's about sex."

Nicole met Sarah's gaze, their four eyes wide with shock and disbelief. It then gave way to grins and shakes of the head.

"Luke... You are my son, and don't ever think otherwise, OK? Your mother may have always known about you and always loved you, but don't ever think that I didn't want you too. I am so, so proud of you and being your father – for however long we managed to have – has been one of the greater achievements of my life.

"Now don't get all paranoid over this, Nic, you know full well what I mean!

"I had one child with the love of my life. A piece of me and a piece of her. Then I raised another child with the love of my life and instead of you coming from both of us you took a piece of our hearts. I found out something Sarah already knew; love doesn't come in expected packages. So thank you."

Sarah edged forward unconsciously, moving closer so she was standing in front of the hologram. Looking up into those represented eyes, focussed on a point somewhere just in front of him, she resisted the urge to reach up and touch the face, knowing her hand would pass through the light and the illusion would be shattered.

Then she gasped as Peter's eyes refocused and he looked right at her.

"It'll be OK, love," he whispered to her, and her heart stopped as she realised that he'd known exactly what she'd do. "I promise you it'll be OK. You are surrounded by people who care about you and who are not going to let you do anything stupid, so don't even think about it OK? If the Universe has decided that enough's enough then I'm OK with that. I had time with you that I didn't have before. Take it and be grateful. And know that I have always loved you."

In the time it took her to blink away the tears, the hologram shimmered and disappeared, leaving her staring into the space where his face had been. A few seconds' later and Nicole and Luke were by her side, the three of them holding on to each other as they cried once more.

His message had been unexpected but welcome, abating a small part of their grief, but they all wanted something real, something tangible that they could grab hold of and hang on to, if only for a minute longer.

Standing on the street, the Doctor looked up at the attic knowing that they would have finished watching the recording. He wanted to go in there and tell them it was all going to work out, that they'd be OK. He knew it. He'd seen it. But he knew that they had to get through the next week and a bit without him. Things would change at the funeral.


	45. Chapter 45

Nicole opened the door and was relieved that she wouldn't have to force a polite smile onto her face. "Aunt Liz," she greeted, allowing the older woman to pull her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Liz said, gently stroking her god-daughter's hair. "How's your mum?"

"She's OK, which is scaring me a little," Nicole admitted for the first time. "It's like she's shut off every emotion... We got this message from Dad, and since then..."

"OK," Liz said, pulling back and grabbing Nicole's hands. "Shall have to have a word with her later. In the meantime I'm gasping for a cup of tea."

With an honest smile on her face Nicole stepped back, allowing Liz to enter the house. Behind her, steady and now confident with the stick, was Alistair. Nicole waited for him then linked her arm with his free one, guiding him to the living room.

"You're looking well," she said.

"Be a dear and tell my wife then," he laughed. "She needs reminding; I had a stroke, I didn't die."

"She's entitled to fuss."

"A bit of fuss I can deal with. That's nothing. She makes Zygons look soft!"

"Who?" Nicole asked.

"Ask your mother," he winked.

Nicole settled beside her godfather and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Nothing was going to keep me away today," he said quietly. "Even if I'd had to drag myself from the hospital bed."

Nicole couldn't help but laugh at the image; he would have done it and Liz would have had more than a few things to say about it.

"The boys will be along in a bit," Alistair said.

"Tom got leave?" Nicole asked.

"As soon as he mentioned your mother's name, UNIT gave him a week's leave. She still carries some weight with the men on high. That, or they're scared of her – and my money's on the latter," he laughed. "Benjamin and Alexis will meet us at the church mind, she's got an appointment at the hospital this morning."

"She must be nearly due now," Nicole said absent-mindedly.

"Few more weeks, but the poor girl has been suffering with this one."

"Well she did insist on getting married halfway through the pregnancy," she laughed.

"I think Liz had more to do with that than Alex!" he laughed in response.

"Be nice to see the boys again."

"We all wish it were under better circumstances."

Nicole pressed her lips together and nodded. After a minute Liz arrived, having easily sourced Sarah's only tea set, putting the tray down on the table.

"I should go see where Luke and Mum are," Nicole said, getting to her feet. She got as far as the door when Luke came into view. "Liz and Alistair are here," she said. "Come on... Aunt Liz, this is Luke," Nicole introduced.

Luke held out his hand, and Liz shook it. "It's nice to meet you," he said.

"Nice to finally meet you, Luke. I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to last time, and work takes me all over the place."

"Mum's told me all about you."

"Where is Mum?" Nicole asked.

"She's almost ready," he said, "said she'd be down in a few minutes."

"She's got one," Nicole declared, "before I go up and get her."

"We can deal with her later," Liz stated firmly. "Now. Tea."

There was another knock on the door and Nicole left them serving up the traditional drink to answer it. As soon as she saw Scott she flung her arms around his neck in relief and began to cry into his shoulder.

* * *

Sarah heard Alistair and Liz arrive and knew that she couldn't hide up in her room for much longer. She'd finally been able to brave coming back in here after getting the message from Peter. The letter, intended only for her, bore only one message in his considered script. She'd read it once, silently cursed him, then known that he was right. The second night after losing him she'd returned to their room and slept in their bed as normal. The days that had followed had been swallowed in practicalities; arranging the funeral and informing everyone who needed to be informed.

The hardest thing that she'd done, on reflection, was when she'd gone to obtain multiple copies of the death certificate. No one ever told you about that or warned you what was involved. Banks, councils, life insurance companies… they all wanted proof that he was gone, like they were calling her a liar when she called to tell them. She had to hand over that piece of paper time after time after time, reinforcing the concept that she was now not a wife but a widow. That was all done now, all that was left was to make it through today.

A simple burial with enough people there to include everyone important but small enough to make it intimate. The service would be in the church they married in, the church Nicole had been baptised. The actual burial would be just the Daltons and the Lethbridge-Stewarts because Sarah honestly couldn't have coped with any more than that. The only positive that had come from this was when she told Clyde and Rani that they were part of her family as far as she was concerned, so of course they were welcome to be there.

Looking one last time in the mirror, at the simple navy suit with red shirt, she tucked her hair behind her ear and went down to face her oldest friends.

The piece of paper remained on the dresser.

_You changed the past for me. Have a future for me too. _

_

* * *

_  
It began to rain just as they arrived at the cemetery. No deluge, just a fine drizzle that sank into her jacket and soon she was feeling the chill. Flanked by her children she made her way to the waiting hole, her eyes fixed on the coffin in front of them. A few steps behind her were Scott, Clyde and Rani, behind them Liz supported her husband on the rough path while reminding her grandchildren that this was not the time to be messing around.

As the graveside service began, Sarah looked around those standing with her. Her oldest friends, holding to each other in a mixture of grief, love, and that unspoken realisation that one day they would be here themselves; saying that final goodbye to someone you had shared a lifetime with. Next to them was their oldest, Thomas. Military like his father but the only outward sign of that was in how he stood at the graveside. His wife, Jessica, stood with their two girls, holding their hands in respectful silence.

Standing by Nicole to one side was her childhood partner-in-crime, Benny. As Tom's younger brother, Benjamin had a lot to live up to and he'd responded by rebelling against the military. He was some public servant now, doing pretty well for himself by all accounts. Alex was with him, her belly swollen with their second child. Their first, an eighteen month-old boy whose name escaped Sarah for the moment, was fast asleep in his pushchair. She'd have to talk to them, apologise for missing the wedding. But they'd been distracted by the small matter of Nicole being missing at the time...

Nicole. She turned to look at her daughter; her hand was firmly in Scott's grasp and Sarah knew that he would make her daughter happy. He'd finally come over three days after Peter's death and Sarah had been struck by how devoted he was to supporting his grieving girlfriend. That alone had earned him her approval. Since then he'd been almost a fixture in their house, helping out any way that he could. He really was good for her and it was clear that they loved each other.

Then there was Luke. Struggling to deal with the complexity of human grief, supported as best as possible by his two closest friends. What she would give to help him through this, to help them all through this.

A hand on her arm snapped her from her distractions and she turned to look at Thomas who was holding out a bag to her. In surprise she noted that she'd missed them lowering the coffin into the ground and now she was expected to drop some of the earth on the top. Unable to bring herself to do so, she turned on her heels and fled, her hand over her mouth as she began to sob.

"Leave her," Alistair commanded as Luke and Nicole prepared to go after their mother. "Some things you just need time and space for."

* * *

Taking refuge in the small group of trees that hid the graveyard from the public view of the main road, Sarah leant back against an oak and let the tears stream down her face. She felt like she was going to be physically sick; the pain was crippling her.

"Sarah."

The voice was both welcome and unwanted and she turned in the direction it had come from. The Doctor stood a few metres away from her, his hands in the pockets of his trousers.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I have something for you," he said with a hint of a smile on his face.

"I don't want it," she said, anger replacing her pain.

"Sarah..."

"I told you, I don't want you here. I don't want to ever see you again, can't you understand that?"

"What?" he asked, confusion on his face.

"Why today?" she asked. "Today of all days I just want to be left to deal with this... mess you have helped to put my family in. I can't even throw a handful of dirt into the grave because..." She stopped, taking a moment to compose herself. "You need to go. I told you I never wanted to see you again. I want you out of my life, Doctor. I want to, as much as I possibly can, forget that you and I ever met."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," the Doctor said.

"Two weeks ago I told you that..." she began, then she saw the look on his face. "When was the last time you saw me?" she asked.

"Oh, that would be when the Daleks..." he began, stopping when she almost collapsed back against the tree. "Sarah?"

"I can't do this," she muttered, "not today. Please just go. Even if you don't know why yet, just go."

"I can't. Not yet," he said, moving over to her and helping her stand upright. "There's something you need to see."

"I don't care," she snapped, pushing his arms away. "I can't just forget what you did, even if you haven't done it yet. What you... I need you to leave me alone, Doctor." She then gave a hollow laugh and shook her head. "You're going to take him from me, having seen me like this? You're going to know exactly what it'll do to me and you'll do it anyway?" Anger bubbled to the surface and she began to lash out at him.

"I'm not doing anything," he said firmly, grabbing her wrists and holding them so she couldn't attack him further. "And you really need to listen to me."

"Good luck with that," came the last voice she ever expected to hear.

Sarah's knees finally gave from under her, and only the Doctor's support kept her on her feet as she turned her head to look in the direction of his voice. Standing by the TARDIS, impossibly alive and well, was Peter.

"But..." she whispered, pulling herself free of the Doctor's grasp. "You can't be..."

"I'm guessing you know I was there with him," the Doctor said behind her. "Well..."

"I wanted to be here for you," Peter continued. "I guessed how hard today would be and..."

He didn't say anything else – Sarah was already in his arms, holding on as tightly as she could.


	46. Chapter 46

He spoke quickly and with brevity, explaining how the Doctor had come to him. The Trickster had changed things to prevent the original accident that would claim his life and therefore condemn the world to chaos and the Pantheon of Discord. So he was faced with a choice; die or lose everything.

It had taken him seconds to decide and it will be his action, no one else's, that will lead to his car leaving the road.

Still holding on to her husband, Sarah listened to his explanation. Her gaze dropped as she heard him talk about his death in the future tense.

"You blame him," Peter said, hooking his finger under her jaw to lift her head. "Don't."

"If he hadn't..."

"Then everyone would be in danger," he said. "If I don't do this then you and Nic and Luke could get hurt, or killed, and I won't risk that for anything. You three are everything to me, Sarah. I'd die for you without hesitation or second thought." He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. "The world is just a secondary concern."

"This isn't fair..." she breathed, leaning forward and resting her head on his chest, listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart. When she felt his lips press a kiss to the top of her head she closed her eyes.

"Sarah..."

"How am I supposed to do this without you?" she asked quietly. "I just miss... this," she said as his arms closed around her. "From the start you've been there for me. You looked after me when I was sick, you held me after each miscarriage even when I yelled at you to never touch me again.

"You gave me the most beautiful daughter... You have shared every high and every low of Nic's life. Every illness, every bug... the broken bones and bumps and scrapes. When I'd convinced myself that we were going to lose her, when she was in the hospital, you calmed me down, help me see logic and reason.

"When Aunt Lavinia died, you stood by her grave with me and held my hand and your promised me that I'd never be alone.

"I thought I loved you before, Peter, and losing you then was... I wanted you back so badly I ended up with this. But I don't want _this_. I can't deal with _this_. I need you, Peter. I need you to take care of me, hold me and not let go because I can't deal with this on my own. I just can't. And I know that makes me sound like some girl who needs taking care of but I don't care. You are my heart."

When she felt Peter's hand gently stroking her hair, she took a deep breath, burying her face into his chest. "You're my heart, Peter," she muttered, "and I know that sounds like a cliché but it's true." She gave a short laugh as she heard herself. "I was never like this before. Luke and the others... having them in my life was making a difference but it wasn't the same. With you? It was everything. There wasn't a part of my life I didn't want you to be a part of. And I know I kept stuff from you but it was never because I didn't want you to know...

"But more than that, you were always there. You have been a constant in my life and now you're not... I feel lost. I don't want to do this without you."

His arms closed around her, holding her tight against his body. She could hear the steady beat of his heart, marking every borrowed moment. The once comforting sound, something she'd fallen asleep to more nights than she could remember, now seemed to pound in her mind.

"You need to go," she said suddenly as he kissed the top of her head again. "You need to go now."

"Sarah..." he began, confused as she pushed him away.

"If you don't go now then I'll never be able to let you... If I don't say goodbye..."

"Again," he laughed.

She smiled and shook her head. "I can't believe you knew. In the hospital. You knew. Or will know."

"Would you rather I say something?"

She thought about it then shook her head.

"Then I won't," he almost joked.

"Oh don't," she breathed, fighting back the tears which had regrouped for another assault. "Please."

"You will OK, Sarah. I know you will be. You're stronger..."

"Not without you," she interrupted. "It was hard enough before... Thirty years, a daughter... our family, our whole lives – now without you? It doesn't work."

"It will do," he assured her. "You will make it work, Sarah."

She pulled back to look up at him, her eyes shining with tears. "What if I don't want it to?" she asked.

Peter said nothing, holding her gaze for a moment before kissing her gently. There was a first kiss, then a second. Sarah's arms wrapped around his neck, holding on tightly and so he lifted her up slightly, pulling her against his body. They kissed in the rain as they had done for the first time all those years ago.

* * *

The Doctor left them alone, moving to the edge of the tree line to observe those still standing around the grave. He easily picked out the Brigadier and Dr Liz Shaw. No, wait. She wouldn't be Shaw any more, would she? And there was Luke, Nicole, Clyde and Rani. Leaning against the tree he watched them for a moment, taking care to remain out of sight. He risked a glance back towards Sarah and Peter, noting that they had moved from their embrace to one more suited to a conversation.

From what she'd said back there, he guessed that when this was all over he was going to have a very angry Sarah Jane on his hands. Peter had been surprised when he'd turned up in the car park, but he'd listened to his explanation and taken it all in quite willingly. He'd understood the urgency of the situation and known, right from the start, what this would mean for him. He'd accepted his fate without question or hesitation, and the Doctor had felt that same surge of guilt that he'd done before.

Peter's only condition was that he was able to talk to Sarah after the Doctor had let slip how depressed Sarah had been before, in the other timeline. So coming here, to this day, had seemed logical. The only person she'd accept an explanation from would be her husband. He would be the one who could convince her that he was doing it of his own free will and not because he being forced into anything.

To save the world from the Trickster, Peter Dalton had to give up his life. The Doctor had always known this and it was for that reason, no other, that he had remained silent at Defry Vale. Sarah needed to enjoy her time with her family, she needed to live her life as normally as possible without knowing when it was all going to come to an end.

After a few moments he walked back towards the TARDIS, not wanting to interrupt them but also aware that time, even when under his control, was fleeting.

* * *

"I can't believe you're here," Sarah said, her fingers tracing a line down his face, over his lips. "I can't believe..."

"It's not his fault," Peter said, nodding in the direction to the waiting Doctor. "I know what I'm doing."

"You're leaving me. You're leaving the kids..."

"Shhh," he soothed. "If I stay..."

"I know, I know. It's just... happening again."

"What?"

"Before. You... You gave yourself up to save me, to save everyone."

"Meant to be then," he said with a hint of a smile. "I love you, Sarah. Always have."

"Loved you longer," she quipped.

"Loved you more."

"You think so?"

"After everything I've put up with? A lesser man would have walked." Peter kissed the tip of her nose and rested his forehead against hers. "A man who didn't love you as much as I do would have walked."

She laughed and felt her mouth curling up in a smile.

"I should go," he said quietly.

"It's for the best," she said, trying to convince herself that she meant it.

"I could... I mean, it's not as if the Doctor can't take me back at any time."

"The longer you stay, the harder it'll be for you to go... And the kids..."

"I should say goodbye to them."

"Peter..." she protested. "They're barely coping as it is..."

"I have to see them," he said, taking her hands in his.

She dropped her eyes, looking at their hands. Then her brow creased in confusion. "Your ring."

"What about it?" he asked, glancing at his wedding ring.

"You didn't have it on in the hospital."

He looked at it for a second, then let go of her hands. With some effort he pulled his ring off, flexing his fingers as he worked the metal band over his knuckle. Taking her left hand in his he slipped the ring onto her thumb. It hung loose, but he reached into her jacket pocket and removed the sonic lipstick.

"Habit," she shrugged, trying to explain why she had it, trying to remember putting it in there.

(Standing by the TARDIS, the Doctor watched them quietly, making a mental note of what she was wearing and which pocket he would have to slip the lipstick into.)

He smiled at her then activated it, moving the gold molecules around until the ring fitted snug around her thumb. "Something to remember me by," he whispered, prompting more tears to well up in her eyes.

Sarah looked at the ring, then up at him, kissing him gently. Then taking his hand she turned towards the TARDIS to look at the Doctor – who was looking over her shoulder.

"Dad?" Nicole's voice was quiet and hesitant, as she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing. "Mum, what's...?"

They turned to face the sound of their daughter's voice, finding her stood there with Luke. Unable to wait any longer they'd sought out their mother only to stumble across something they never expected.

"It's OK, sweetheart," Sarah said, dropping Peter's hand. "He's real."

That was all Nicole needed, and she broke into a run, throwing her arms around her father. Luke held back a little bit longer until Sarah nodded at him, confirming that everything was OK. He quickly joined his sister, holding on to Peter for all he was worth.

Sarah wrapped her arms protectively around herself before joining the Doctor by the TARDIS.

"You OK?" he asked.

She didn't respond.

"So... you and I fall out?"

"You're taking him from me," she replied, her voice flat.

"Sarah..."

"I understand, I do... It's just..."

"You're losing him. Again."

"You knew. All along, you knew. How this would end. Now. Like this."

"That's why I couldn't tell you."

"I know."

"I just wanted you to be happy, Sarah."

"And you've done _such_ a great job of it," she snapped. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." She took a deep breath. "After... I'm really going to have a go at you later. Sorry."

"Sure you had your reasons. To tell me that..." He paused, risking a glance at her. "Do you still mean it? Do you want me to go? For good?"

"I... don't know," she admitted.

"OK."

She had kept her eyes on Peter and their children, watching him say goodbye. It broke her heart more than she would ever admit, but at the same time she knew that it would be a kind of closure for them. She had the chance to say goodbye in the hospital, this was their time. He pulled back from them, putting a hand on each of their cheeks. Then he kissed them and they headed towards the police box.

"Ready?" the Doctor asked as they stopped a few metres away.

"As I'll ever be."

Sarah and Peter met halfway between the Doctor and their children. His hand brushed her cheek before he kissed the top of her head. He stopped there, taking a deep breath as if he could breathe her in. Then they continued on, Sarah joining Nic and Luke, Peter joining the Doctor.

"Stay with him," Sarah told the Doctor. "Please."

He nodded his agreement, and she knew that he would keep his word. He stepped inside the TARDIS, going to prepare her for her trip back two weeks to that fateful day. From the accident he would make sure Peter got to hospital, then come for Sarah so she could be with Peter at the end.

"I..." Peter began, looking at each member of his family in turn. "I'm sorry."

"It's OK, Dad," Nicole said.

'Love you,' he mouthed, then stepped inside the TARDIS. A few seconds later the familiar sounds echoed and the police box disappeared.

"Come on," Sarah said, taking their hands and leading them away. She returned to the graveside and dropped a handful of earth onto the coffin. Then she began the slow walk back to the waiting cars, ready to return home.


	47. Epilogue

Scott ran his hands down his face in disbelief before turning back to face Nicole. "Seriously?" he asked.

"Oh come on," she sighed, "you were starting to work it out."

"I knew there had to be something going on, but _this_?"

"Call it... the other family business," she quipped, remembering what her mother had told her years before.

"Hunting aliens?"

"We don't _hunt_ them," she stressed. "We... help them out. Or stop them if they're looking for trouble."

"How long?"

"Have I been doing this?" Nicole shrugged. "Few years. Mum's been doing it for longer."

"Your... _Sarah's_ been doing this?"

"Longer than you can imagine," she grinned, her mouth curling up at one side. "She's... It's complicated."

"Why are you telling me this?" Scott asked, joining her to sit on the bed. "Why now?"

"Well, there's a dinner party tonight I need you to be at."

"You've lost me."

"There are these creatures called the Slitheen; they were the first aliens I ever met really. Anyway, they have these cousins called the Blathereen..."

* * *

Nicole stared at the box containing the Rackweed before glancing at the others around the table. "Well?" she asked.

"It sounds cool in theory," Clyde said, starting to clear the table.

"I still think we should talk to Sarah Jane about this," Rani protested.

"If you can get her to listen," Clyde muttered under his breath.

Nicole chose to ignore the remark. Since the funeral her mother had become withdrawn, refusing to get involved in anything remotely alien. At first Nic had thought that she just needed time, and she was happy to help out.

She'd met an old friend of her mother's, Professor Rivers, and rubbed shoulders with ghosts. Then she'd been trapped in a painting, which on reflection wasn't the best day of her life. But months on and still Sarah showed no interest in returning to her old life, so Nicole was beginning to feel like her temporary appointment in leading this merry band of misbegots was becoming a little more permanent than she'd bargained for.

"Scott?" she asked, prompting her boyfriend to look up. "What do you think?"

"I think... I'm going to need a very large drink."

"Scott! Do you think we should trust them?"

"I don't know," he said. "I'm new to all this."

"Exactly why I asked you to come," Nicole said. "I know what the Slitheen are like, but you don't... What's your gut reaction to them?"

"I don't trust them," he declared. "Why would they want to help us when all their cousins have wanted to do is destroy Earth? I know that's probably... what? Racist? Specist?" he laughed. "But the apple rarely falls far from the tree in my opinion," he continued, picking up the illustrating fruit and throwing it lightly into the air before catching it.

"Luke?" Nicole prompted, but he just shrugged his shoulders. "Thoughts?"

"I want to believe them, but Scott's right," Luke said eventually. "Maybe you should get Mr Smith to check it out?"

Scott rolled his eyes and took a bite out of the apple. He'd nearly fallen over when Nicole had introduced him to K9, and then actually done so when he'd met Mr Smith. He'd not bargained on this when he'd fallen for Nic, but as he watched her use her mother's watch to scan the plant, her brow creasing in concentration, he knew he wouldn't have her any other way.

* * *

Nicole left Mr Smith running scans on the plant while she went back downstairs to join Sarah in the living room.

"How was your evening?" Sarah asked, barely glancing up from the laptop screen.

"Not bad," Nicole dismissed. "How goes the work?"

"Nearly done."

"Already? Didn't they give you a week to do it in?"

"So?"

"So, you always said that if they give you a week and you do it in a day, then it can't be very good."

"When did I say that?" Sarah asked, glancing over at Nicole.

"When I was in Year 11. I did my essay on Othello the night I was given it, and you made me go over it again and again and again."

"Did I?"

"Uh-huh. I kept my original, handed that in, still got an A."

"Then you have just disproven your own – and my – original point."

Nicole glared at her and then smiled. "We brought back something from the Blathereen. A plant."

"A plant?"

"Yeah, they say it can feed the world. Might put Bono out of a job, but it's for a good cause." Nicole watched her mother, looking for some flicker of interest.

"Sounds great."

"That's if it checks out OK."

"I'm sure you'll be careful," Sarah said, saving her work and shutting down the laptop. "Want some tea?"

"No thanks," Nicole replied, still getting to her feet to follow her mother. "Is that all you have to say on the matter? That I'll be careful?"

"What do you want me to say?" Sarah asked as she checked the water level in the kettle before switching it on.

"I don't know, that you're interested in it? Concerned? Worried?"

"I've told you before, I don't do all this now."

"You're really just giving it all up? Forget defending the planet?"

"I'm getting too old for this," she said, "given I've lived through the best part of ninety years all in," she added as a quip.

"No, you're getting too scared," Nicole snapped. "Dad's gone and all you have done since the funeral is run away from anything and everything that reminds you of your old life. Because of that life the Trickster introduced you to Dad in some other timeline, you lose him, and then because of some... old school time travel stuff you get a second chance, living thirty years over again and setting up your life again with a family.

"Only that doesn't end the way you'd hoped and yeah, it hurts. But instead of dealing with it and moving on, you're running away and hiding."

"I am not hiding," Sarah snapped in return. "I'm still here, aren't I? I haven't run off to deepest Peru or anywhere. I still talk to you about what's going on."

"You don't suit the role of consultant, Mum. You never have and you never will. This is your thing. Those kids... they miss you. I miss you."

"I am right here, love," Sarah replied, lifting a hand to Nicole's face.

"No you're not," she replied. "And you haven't been for ages. You're just leaving me and Luke to get on with it, like we don't matter."

"Nic..."

"You're really not coming back to this, are you?"

"No."

"Because of Dad. Because of the Doctor."

"Because of me, love. No one else. Because I don't want to do this any more. I want to enjoy having a normal life for a change."

"You haven't had a normal life since the '70s," Nicole pointed out. "The minute you met the Doctor your whole world changed. You told Alan once that you can't turn your back on the Universe."

"I haven't. I'm not shutting myself off from it all, I'm just... handing the reins over. You're doing a great job, love, and I am here to support you in any way that I can."

"Mum..."

"I don't want to talk about it, Nic. I've made my decision, and that's final. It's up to you now. You and the others."

Nicole sighed and shoved her hands into her jeans pockets. As she started to walk away she decided that if she didn't play her trump card now then she never would. "Dad wouldn't want you to give up."

"Your father would want me to be happy. And I am."

"Really?"

"I know it's hard for you to understand..."

"Try impossible."

"...but this is what I want."

"What about what I want, Mum? What I need? Me and Luke... we need our mum back."

"I'm still here."

Nic shook her head sadly. "What's here is a shell. Our mum hasn't been around for months. Mum would have yelled at me for days solid when she found out I'd told Scott about everything. Mum would be racing upstairs to check out that plant for herself. Mum would have been at that gallery, worried out of her mind for me and Luke. She wouldn't be sat at home filing stupid article after pointless report. Mum would look up at the night sky, not hide away inside."

Sarah kept staring at the space where Nicole had been standing long after she'd gone upstairs. Nic's words had struck several nerves but she couldn't bring herself to admit it. She had to keep going, she had to be here to take care of her children and she couldn't do that running after every alien that crash landed in London.

Family first. Everything she did was with them in mind, because when she did something for herself then people got hurt.

* * *

"Aren't you ready yet?" Sarah sighed as Luke appeared on the landing.

"I've left my tie in the attic," he said.

"I'll get it. You go have breakfast."

Shaking her head at how someone so outwardly perfect and intelligent could be so forgetful and yes, messy, Sarah headed up into the attic. It wasn't that she avoided it now, it was just that she rarely had occasion to come up here. Since Nicole had taken over the reins in defending the Earth (proving there was something in the 'like mother, like daughter' adage) she tended to stay on the lower floors. Quite often she could spend an entire day with interacting with any kind of alien technology – Nicole now wore the watch and carried the lipstick – and the normality of it all was weirdly refreshing.

It reminded her of what life had been like back in the '80s, as a new wife and mother she was more concerned with making sure her family were OK than watching the skies for what might be heading their way.

She found Luke's tie draped over the chair, but as she picked it up some dust seemed to be stirred off it. Coughing slightly as she inhaled a little, she thought nothing more of it as she went back downstairs.

* * *

_Analysis complete. The Rackweed is not harmless._

Nicole's stomach turned over as Mr Smith gave her the updated report on the plant. Her mind raced with all kinds of possibilities as she pulled her mobile phone from her pocket. "Luke? It's me... The Rackweed, it's done something to Mum... No, I don't know what... No, don't come home. Whatever this is, I don't want you anywhere near it. Just, stay with Clyde and Rani, yeah? I'll let you know if anything changes... Yeah, OK... Bye."

_According to my analysis, Rackweed seeks out life forms that it deems a threat to its propagation and drains them of energy. It will send its victims into a deep, deep coma from which they will never return._

"But Mum was OK to begin with," she protested.

_I can only surmise that Sarah Jane inhaled only a few of the spores, and it took time for them to take control of her system._

"If there's only a few of them, then surely it'll take longer for it to..." She stopped herself before finishing the sentence.

_That would seem to be the logical conclusion, but there is insufficient evidence to say for certain._

"There has to be some way of stopping it, of reversing the process."

_I will continue my analysis, Nicole, but I cannot guarantee that I will find a cure in time to save Sarah Jane._

"I am not losing her," Nicole said defiantly. "I can't."

* * *

One floor down, Scott gently mopped Sarah's fevered brow as she drifted in and out of consciousness. It had taken them minutes to find the first marks on her body after she'd collapsed. It seemed to be progressing slowly, but it was a constant and he knew that she would be unconscious before too long.

"Peter..." Sarah muttered.

"It's OK," Scott replied, not knowing what else to say.

"I missed you..."

"Oh hell," he whispered to himself. He didn't know if he could play that role, and so decided to side-step the issue. "You need to fight, Sarah. You hear me? Fight this, OK?"

She seemed to nod and he took that as a positive sign.

"How is she?" Nicole asked as she came into the room.

"Getting worse," he told her, deciding not to mention the whole 'she thought I was your dad' bit. "Don't know how much longer she's going to stay awake."

"Mr Smith gave me this," she said, holding what looked like a small bowl. "It'll help him keep an eye on her condition."

"She's going to be OK," Scott said, getting to his feet.

"Oh you bet she is," Nicole replied defiantly. "The Blathereen did this, they can damn well fix it."

* * *

"Nic," Scott protested as he watched her throw bags and boxes around the attic. "Just stop and think about what you're planning."

"A-ha!" she exclaimed, finding the suitcase she was looking for. She pulled out a super soaker and checked the barrel. "I have thought about this. Mum is dying, the plants are all over London. People are being rushed to hospital and if I don't do something about it then they are going to die." She swung the pistol so it rested on her shoulder. "I am not losing Mum. Not now, not after... I can't."

"And I can't lose you," Scott said.

"You won't."

"You don't know that," he said. "Nic..."

"I know," she smiled, gently stroking his cheek. "Keep an eye on Mum for me."

_I only have enough energy for a one way trip, Nicole,_ Mr Smith announced.

"Oh no, no way," Scott said. "You are not going now."

"Just watch me," she replied, fixing him with a glare that almost dared him to argue with her.

"Nic..."

"I love you too," she said, before nodding to Mr Smith. Then in a flash she was gone.

* * *

Scott grabbed Nicole's ringing mobile from where she'd left it, sighing as he noted the caller ID. "Luke?"

"Where's Nic?" Luke demanded.

"She's gone after the Blathereen, see if they can stop this."

"How's Mum?"

"She's doing OK," he lied, not wanting to upset or scare the kid. Sarah had fallen into a coma fifteen minutes ago and Mr Smith's analysis had determined that she would be dead within hours. "Hanging in there."

"The Rackweed's in the school," Luke told him. "It's everywhere."

"Can you get out?"

"We're trapped. K9 can zap some of the spores but..."

"Why is K9 there?"

"Long story," Luke said quickly. "Does Mr Smith have any ideas?"

"He's working on it," Scott said as he turned to face the Xylok. The screen flickered as the machine worked through a number of different formulas and calculations, trying to find some weakness in the continually-adapting plant. "Just... sit tight, OK?"

"I don't know how much longer we can hold out."

"It'll be OK, kid. Just... trust us."

"I trust Nicole."

"So do I."

* * *

When Nicole reappeared in the attic Scott couldn't help but give in to his relief. He grabbed her into a hug before he'd even processed the look of disappointment on her face.

"I tried," she muttered into his shoulder.

"I know."

"Mum?"

He didn't need to tell her, the look on his face as she pulled back did it all for him. Running from the attic Nicole raced to Sarah's bedside. When she saw her mother her breath seemed to stick in her throat.

"Mum?" she almost yelled, grabbing Sarah's hand in hers. She ran her fingers over the ugly red and black blotches and resisted the urge to cry. "Mum, you need to fight this. The Sarah Jane I know and love and who's been on my case my whole life would be batting this into the middle of next week! You have never let anything beat you and now is _not_ the time to start.

"You can't just give up. Please, Mum... If you let this win then you're basically saying that me and Luke? We don't matter. You lose Dad and that's it, there's nothing worth fighting for? You may have given up on dealing with all of this but I won't let you give up on your kids, not on us. We love you and we need you. _I_ need you. Please, Mum... don't let this win. You're stronger than this."

It may have been her imagination, but Nicole could have sworn that she saw a flicker of movement behind Sarah's closed eyes. Before she had a chance to press it further she heard Scott calling from the attic, telling her that Luke was on the phone.

* * *

As the ringing in her ears stopped, Nicole glanced over at Scott. "You OK?"

"Think I've gone slightly deaf, but yeah, I'm OK."

"Mr Smith, report," she ordered.

_My scans indicate that the Rackweed has been eliminated._

Scott grabbed Nicole into a celebratory hug, lifting her up and spinning her around before setting her down and kissing her gently.

"Mum!" she exclaimed, pulling away from him and heading for the stairs.

She'd made it down the first flight when she met Sarah coming up. Nicole took a few seconds to take in her mother's unblemished skin before Sarah wrapped her up in a hug, the pair of them clinging tightly to the other.

"I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you," Nicole muttered into Sarah's shoulder.

"You'd have been fine," Sarah replied, running one hand down Nic's hair. "You'd have been brilliant, I know it."

"Luke, Clyde and Rani are the brilliant ones. They found out about the bell."

"Yeah, but you went after the Blathereen. That took some courage."

"How did you...?" Nicole asked, pulling back and looking at her mother.

Sarah took Nicole's face in her hands and smiled gently. "You are worth fighting for," she said quietly. "You have always been worth fighting for and I will _never_ give up on you. I'm sorry if you ever thought I would."

"I need you to help me with this, Mum," Nicole whispered.

"Then I will," Sarah smiled before pulling her in close again.

* * *

After showering and changing (all this alien gunk was not doing her hair any favours, thank god for intensive conditioners), Nicole found Sarah in her room, staring at the letter that Peter had left. When Sarah noticed her she held out the piece of paper which Nic took and read.

"He's right you know," she said as she handed it back.

"I've been thinking," Sarah began, gesturing that they should sit on the bed. "I spent all that time just thinking... I went back for him and I was supposed to have a life with your father. So when I lost him I wondered what the point of it all was, but today I realised something. What if it wasn't about Peter? What if I went back for you? What if all this was because I was meant to have you?"

Sarah gently stroked Nicole's cheek and smiled. "You saved the world today," she said, the note of pride unmistakable in her voice. "My daughter saved the world."

"You save it all the time."

"It's not a competition," Sarah laughed. "But I am so proud of you. Your dad would be too."

"I miss him," Nicole said quietly.

"So do I." She took a deep breath, holding the air in her lungs for a moment. "But life goes on. It has to."

"Does this mean...?" Nicole ventured, seeing a glint in Sarah's eyes.

"I was told something once. The woman who helped me go back told me that the 'addition would be my salvation'."

Nicole's jaw dropped open. "I was told that too, by some fortune teller. I always thought she was spinning me a line."

"You met her too?"

Nicole nodded. "When I was... away. She told me I would be the salvation... I guess she meant this? Me saving the world?"

Sarah pressed her lips together in a smile and shook her head. "Nope. She meant you would be mine. You saved my life today, Nic, and I don't just mean about the Rackweed. Losing your dad shouldn't mean that I give up everything that's important... I have a family to fight for, to be here for. So it's time to get back to it."

Nicole gave a small squeal of delight, and pulled her into a hug.

"This means I want my lipstick back," Sarah informed her.

"No arguments here," Nicole grinned. "You want to tell the kids the good news or shall I?"

"Oh let me," she grinned. "Be worth it to see the look on Clyde's face."

"He'll be thrilled."

"You think?"

"I know. Got a soft spot for you has that one. Not that he'll admit to it."

"Clyde Langer admitting to liking someone?" Sarah laughed. "Has he finished cleaning the attic yet?"

"Nearly. He should be done by the time lunch is ready."

"I'm surprised you're not doing it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nicole protested.

"My daughter, the professional cook?"

"Think that business has run its course."

"How'd you feel about that?"

Nicole shrugged. "Some things are more important."

"So long as you're sure."

"I'm sure, Mum. Really. If you're on board with this then so am I."

"Deal," Sarah said, holding out her hand for the obligatory shake.

"I'd best get down there, Scott will be burning the sausages about now."

Sarah couldn't help but laugh at Nicole's inability to completely hand over the cooking reins, the resulting smile remaining on her lips after Nicole had gone. Turning back to the dresser she saw the note lying on the surface.

She got to her feet and crossed the room. Carefully she picked up the paper, reading it one final time before folding it up and putting it back into the envelope. Then she removed Peter's ring from her thumb and dropped it inside.

"I love you," she whispered to the empty room. "Always will," she finished before leaving to join her friends and family out in the garden.

* * *

As they all sat around the table, laughing and joking and picking off burnt bits from their food, Sarah remarked on how things had played out. She had still lost Peter, she was still hurting and there was still a hole in her chest that she knew would be there for a very long time. But she had Nicole now, and through her she had Scott. Her family was bigger and she wouldn't have given up one moment of the last thirty years for anything.

Glancing up at the house, she thought she saw something through her open bedroom window. The small woven circle spun on its thread, the feathers dancing in the light breeze. Smiling to herself Sarah closed her eyes for a moment and let the same wind blow over her, bringing with it the sounds of those worth fighting for.

Then she opened her eyes, laughed at a joke that Clyde had just made, and enjoyed the rest of the evening.

_~fin~_


End file.
